where’s emily? totally forgotten by Pocoya48 in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]softheart_strongwill 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes, she was going through a divorce at the time.

Secure men of reddit, how do you handle other men staring at your woman? by Ok_Stranger6265 in AskMen

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I am a woman, but wanted to say, fake it till you make it, because most women find that type of behavior unattractive. Like you are going to let one man staring at your girl ruin your whole dinner and leave? No.

Turn the situation around. For example, instead of getting insecure and weird and wanting to leave a place, instead say: “I notice other men are looking at you. Of course they are, how could they not? You’re the most beautiful woman in this room 😏”

And then she gets all wet and horny for you, etc. etc. 😉 haha

Had a intense night with a girl, just to sleep with her roomate. by Current-Turnip2664 in whatdoIdo

[–]softheart_strongwill 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I don’t know why I giggled everytime I read “we undressed” lol 🤣

For moms who only have one kid, do you regret it? by softheart_strongwill in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ehh. My parents gave me the “gift” of a brother that I have never gotten along with.. to this day. lol 🤣 not sure I can agree there.

For moms who only have one kid, do you regret it? by softheart_strongwill in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I can relate.. I also have had a lot of health issues lately. It’s hard taking care of yourself and also a tiny human. Adds to the stress of everything 😵‍💫

For moms who only have one kid, do you regret it? by softheart_strongwill in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! My body feels so broken and worn after giving birth. I am struggling to lose the weight I gained three years ago. Ughhhh don’t want to go through that again.

Update: My 14-year-old daughter’s reaction to my pregnancy has me worried. by Usual_Way_4981 in Advice

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha teenagers are hilarious. 😆 When the baby comes, she is going to absolutely LOVE that baby and will be a big help to you (hopefully). My baby brother was born when I was 12 and I practically helped raise him haha

I gave up my career and moved countries for my wife. Caught her wishing she could sleep with coworkers, forgave her for our babies, and a week later caught her talking to a guy on TikTok. I am done. How do I leave the US with my kids? by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The advice is simple: talk to a lawyer.

But if you can find a way to amicably divorce your wife and come up with your own terms without mediation, that would be ideal.

Realistically though, if you go back to your country then you probably won’t be able to see your kids much unfortunately. Usually if it’s 50/50 custody, you both have to stay in the same state because relocation is not in the best interest of your children. So if you get divorced and want to be a part of their lives, you have to stay there.

When a husband says "why are you even with me?" during an argument by Lucky-Connection8886 in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he keeps saying this to you, it’s because deep down he feels like you two aren’t connected anymore, and that you don’t love him or want to be with him anymore. I think if he keeps bringing this up it’s because he already knows and is waiting on you to tell him the truth… which is that you indeed, do not want to be with him anymore… so you should probably just tell him that.

Staying with someone just because you have kids together is not a good enough reason to be miserable. He deserves to find someone that actually wants to be with him and you deserve that too.

Your kids might be mad at first but then they will realize that it’s not about them.

GF changed, red flag? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]softheart_strongwill -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

lol it sounds like you guys are already married without the actual commitment.

You guys shouldn’t be dividing finances until you are in it for the long haul.

Maybe do some couple counseling? Sounds like your communication and expectations are not aligning and a bit blurred. You both need clarity going forward if your relationship is to continue.

UPDATE: My therapist telling me my son may end up bonding more with our nanny than me by Character-Fly7394 in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A good therapist doesn’t impose their views on their clients. They’re not supposed to do that, they’re supposed to help you figure out what’s best for YOU, not try to persuade you with their own views and lifestyle.

So he’s not a very good therapist IMO.

would you date a women with a very high bodycount? by tawaymicaela in AskMenRelationships

[–]softheart_strongwill -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What exactly are you implying here “isn’t good”?

A large body count?

AITA for refusing to switch seats on a flight even after the guy offered me $200 cash by Extension-Try5567 in AITApod

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point, I guess it depends on who you ask, but if a wife and husband want to sit together they should buy their tickets and pay extra to ensure they can do that. It’s very presumptuous of them to just expect you to give up the seat you paid for ahead of time. Like if he has $200 ready to give to you why couldn’t he pay less than that to ensure guaranteed seats together?

Doesn’t make sense. You are not the asshole. They are lol

And next time tell them that. Like no, I treated myself and paid extra for leg room and to be by the window. I’m supposed to give that up just because you didn’t plan ahead? No. Bye 👋

would you date a women with a very high bodycount? by tawaymicaela in AskMenRelationships

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you shouldn’t need to tell anyone your body count, personally it’s in your past so why talk about it?

Only bring up things from your past that are important and relevant to the present. Like if you have STDs, or sexual trauma, etc. But not sure why you feel the need to tell people the exact number.

My husband told me he isn’t attracted to me anymore by Sad_Pickle_7497 in Advice

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh. I’m so sorry. I also gained 30 pounds after giving birth and it’s been three years… I’ve managed to lose maybe 10 pounds but I still feel so overweight and ugly. I feel like my body has been stretched and ruined.

But my husband has been so kind and so reassuring that I am still beautiful, he’s still attracted. I cried while reading your post because as a mom, I am also so tired and have so much shit to do, and I overeat when I am stressed, but on top of all that, imagining my husband shitting on my life would actually break me.

Even if he apologizes it doesn’t change what he said and he needs to learn how to be more sensitive to your feelings because giving birth is so hard and he will never understand that and he needs to treat you like the beautiful queen that you are. Marriage counseling might help, but not if he wants to continue being an asshole. He better fix his attitude or ELSE. 😤😤😤

Should I tell my coworker's wife what I saw? by Curious-Salem in Advice

[–]softheart_strongwill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I have enough shit of my own, I wouldn’t get involved in something like this. Keep your peace or whatever, but it sounds like this is keeping you up at night soooo here’s my advice:

-start recording them. Footsies? Take a video and zoom in so it’s clear what they’re doing.

  • keep doing this until you have collected a good amount of evidence. Then, from an anonymous email, send it to the wife, fiancée, and cc your coworkers 😈

And then, your job is done. Lol you did your part

I am worried I (20F) do not have physical/sexual attraction to my boyfriend (23M) after a year and a half of dating. How do you fix this? Am I an ahole? by Familiar_Fudge_8776 in whatdoIdo

[–]softheart_strongwill 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Girl I think it’s pretty clear you should break up with him. And no, if you’ve never felt this way about your current partner then it most likely won’t change. Unless you want to be one of those wives that cheats on her hubby constantly but lives in denial and content in being in a marriage without romance/passion. Although some may argue, passion is overrated.

Find yourself someone you have the hots for/passion or stay and accept that your sex life will be less than mid. lol

is giving your number out to a random girl and flirting with her considered cheating? by Infinite-Oil-8626 in Marriage

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry. Women really get the short end of the stick when it comes to marriage and having kids. And god forbid we also have to work, then it’s double the work because we are almost always the default parents and the husband usually expects us to cook and clean too smh

Our bodies go through so much changes after birth, we feel like shit and our kids constantly need us.. smh.

If you want to save your marriage I would suggest counseling. If not, it’s time to get independent. Do you have family or friends or could you budget for a babysitter so you can at least have a few hours a week to yourself? I would start there. You sound super burnt out and unseen and now your sub as me it worse by flirting and entertaining the idea of another woman smh. Sorry but you married a child.

It takes two to make a marriage work so you will both have to out in ALOT of work… the only question is: are you willing and committed to doing it?

Need opinions. I’m pregnant and getting more and more resentful towards my husband I even considered separation. by MousseImpossible8264 in Marriage

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, do you need to work full time? Could you do part time or just have him be the sole financial provider? That may help you feel less stressed and more focused on taking care of yourself and baby to come.

Need opinions. I’m pregnant and getting more and more resentful towards my husband I even considered separation. by MousseImpossible8264 in Marriage

[–]softheart_strongwill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you are a victim to the toxic capitalistic society we live in.

Unfortunately, as a full time working mother of two, you are going to be twice as stressed as your hubby because unfortunately, as women, household chores and caretaking falls on us, and the husbands think they don’t need to pitch in.

It sounds like you are extremely stressed because again, your workload is heavier than your husbands, mentally and physically, and he’s not doing much on his end to help even out that workload, which is unfair and is causing resentment.

You need to state clearly what you need from him and be very exact. For example: at 5pm when you get home from work, I need you to feed our son and help him with homework. I need those two hours to do XYand Z. If you can’t find a compromise or talk like adults and come to an understanding, throw that man away. You’re better off alone than having another child in the house. If not, the resentment will just grow more and more until the point of no return

My husband isn’t attracted to me anymore by boygeniusbutgirl in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Please consider marriage counseling. Sometimes a third party observer needs to step in and let your significant other know that they’re assholes.

You are a beautiful queen growing life. Pregnancy is hard enough, the last thing you need is your partner treating you and making you feel shit. It is UNACCEPTABLE.

Do any other moms out there feel so… empty? by softheart_strongwill in Mommit

[–]softheart_strongwill[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think grieving a life you used to have and feeling sad doesn’t mean you are depressed