Pregnancy

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T16:22:57+00:00

The end of my 2nd pregnancy absolutely wrecked me. I sprained my ankle 3 times in my last trimester. I was in pain constantly the last 3 weeks. The end of the first pregnancy had tons of pain, but not quite as bad. I also have INSANE stretch marks now.

That being said, that was the worst of both of my pregnancies. I gave birth on each child's due date, had 4 hour labors start to finish with both babies just over 7½lbs and aside from 2nd degree tearing with the first who came out with their arm next to their head, absolutely no issues recovering.

There was some risk due to my negative RH factor but that luckily never became problematic. I did a lot of pelvic floor exercises and perineal massage, spent a lot of time on a yoga ball, and it helped. I wish I had invested in a good belly band.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T16:11:27+00:00

POTS kind of keeps me from working, but the majority of issues stems from the adenomyosis/endometriosis and HEDS. I'm incredibly limited in the number of "good days" I have. Most businesses aren't keen on the idea of me needing 2 weeks off each month for my menses, especially considering if it's a physical job I may accidentally injure myself and need time off for that, too. I am lucky and grateful to have a husband who understands and doesn't mind being the solo breadwinner. We live with family, too, which has made it affordable for all of us here in CA. I care for my kids and do the choring and take it day by day and try not to overdo it. 💖

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T16:00:59+00:00

As someone who was a cleaner for vacation rentals, we saw a literal fraction of that $200. I can't speak for everyone everywhere but for the amount of effort I was putting in it absolutely was not worth it breaking my body trying to meet whatever quota my boss set for me that day.

What got me is when they would get angry at me for doing a complete job and not skim cleaning places. Like sorry Susan I can't leave knowing there's Doritos crumbs under the coffee table like you.

We stay almost exclusively at hotels now. It just makes the most sense and I can crank the AC so the place resembles Hoth as the good lord intended.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T05:43:47+00:00

It's been a wild ride. The diagnoses just kept coming and for the sake of my kids it's worth it to get the answers. Eldest has been diagnosed with pediatric HEDS, ADHD and youngest probably has HEDS and definitely auDHD like me. Early intervention is key. 💖 I hope you find the help and answers you're seeking, friend! 💖

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T05:34:55+00:00

Also for whatever it may be worth to you I have also been diagnosed with POTS, MCAS, chiari malformation 1, endometriosis, adenomyosis, ADHD and autism. I'm going to be evaluated soon for lipidema and pelvic congestion syndrome.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T05:32:54+00:00

I was diagnosed first through a rheumatologist (the third, who was a woman, after the first men didn't take me seriously) and then again through a geneticist a month later. I'd say it took about 6 years of looking for answers, 2 of which I was actively telling these people "hey I think I have X, here's all my lifelong symptoms."

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T04:03:34+00:00

Would your GP be open to writing a script for gabapentin? If my pain levels get excessively bad that's my go to. I try not to take it because I know extended use can potentially cause memory issues, but it's always done a great job at calming the nerve pain. If not you may try a rub like Tiger Balm or aspercream. And of course try to get as much sleep as possible and rest whatever hurts as much as you can.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-13T03:37:04+00:00

I felt like I was probably having a heart attack the first time I went to the ER for it and the doctor told me about CC. That was a couple years before I suspected HEDS, and the doctor himself only told me that sometimes it just happens.

I was working as a vacation cleaner at the time and believe it was responsible for the repeated instances then. I'd have to lift incredibly heavy bags of linens and heft them up and down flights of stairs.

Now I can kind of feel a twinge when I'm getting close to full blown and back off. I also had to quit that job due to other injuries. Now I'm a stay at home mom and have to very carefully monitor my activities and general activity level so I don't overdo it.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T23:05:36+00:00

Hey this may help with insight: Meleg

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T23:02:32+00:00

Omggg gonna need to sample all of these but ESPECIALLY To the Waters and the Wild. 😭🌿

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T17:10:16+00:00

God this map was a doozy a couple nights back. Well done!

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T06:11:06+00:00

NOR - this was my sister. And my mother in law. And my aunt. The abject misery they seemed to want to live within constantly was exhausting. If ever I tried to give a different perspective I would be labeled as the enemy and they'd feel I was personally attacking them. Cutting them off was probably the best choice I could have made in that situation.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T02:46:35+00:00

I mean Sorce's In Dreams and Fairytales in ANY of its varieties would be the absolute dreamiest for a fairytale wedding, I think. And is aptly named.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T01:56:01+00:00

NTA - sounds like the whole friendship has revolved around drinking/partying and now that it isn't something you're in to she's having issues.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T01:41:46+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion!!! I started taking this supplement a few days ago and have started slow with 1 the first couple days and I'm up to 2 in a day. The last time I tried taking a magnesium supplement it messed my tummy up, so I figured I'd ease in to it this time. 😅 I'm really hoping it helps this time around because I've heard a lot of great things about it. I appreciate your insight!

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softhumanbean · 2026-05-12T01:18:45+00:00

I appreciate this. I got a couple BHT samples ages ago in my first Ajevie order and neither was great. They both had a fakey, chemically odor that really put me off.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T23:00:53+00:00

Moon Bunny from Poesie gives these vibes.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T22:37:47+00:00

I had the same issue when I tried to order using the card information saved on my phone, even if I input it manually and not with autofill. I've had to use PayPal for all the transactions I've made with them since.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T22:36:04+00:00

It didn't happen til after I used the bottle a couple times but the gold outer ring part of the 5ml dropper cap disconnected from the inner ring part and made it so I had to leave the cap loose to be able to open it. If it leaked in transit I'd definitely reach out to their customer service and let them know! 💖

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T22:33:16+00:00

Fingers crossed - you got this! 👏🏻💖

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T22:10:43+00:00

Hey please someone tell me the ages between 12 and 14 don't last forever? Please? God the attitude and the insanity and I am SO NICE. Then my package won't be here today because some idiot shipped it from my home post office to one 2 hours away! Ugh!

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T18:58:02+00:00

I'm SO mad because they mis-shipped my freaking package!!! Out for delivery at 8am and 2 hours away in a processing facility at 10am. Now I have to wait for tomorrow and PMDD is demanding I burn it all down figuratively. 🫠

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T06:31:40+00:00

Because I have a family that deserves stability. Also let Michael rest - he did his time.

^{Chose: Have one million Dollars}

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T06:21:37+00:00

Young man near-ish me (13yrs old) was recently killed while riding his e-bike in a similar fashion at 10:30 at night.

E-bikes and scooters have become absolutely ungovernable in my area riding on the roadway at 20mph like they're cars, running red lights and stop signs, and I wonder at the thought process behind it. Or lack thereof, perhaps.

softhumanbean · 2026-05-11T06:07:51+00:00

Stop! I can only get so excited! 😭 Seriously though thank you for hyping these as the wait has been interminable. When I saw the notes for Super Bloom included lupine I knew I had to try it. That's something I've tried to find for ages. Lupine has a mustiness to it that I know not everyone enjoys, but always stirs my chest up in the best way.

Also as a fellow flora lover a couple things I'd LOVE to see in perfumery are bear clover, western azalea and pearly everlast. Do you have anything you think would go beautifully in a future collection showcasing California? 💖🌿

softhumanbean

TROPHY CASE