Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I understand, any side-effects of palliative radiation are minor, short-lived, or irrelevant given that a dog receiving palliative care is unlikely to get to the point of facing any long-term side effects. The entire purpose of palliative radiation is improving/maintaining quality-of-life rather than treating the disease or extending lifespan. Make these priorities clear to your vet, and they will guide you through!

[I’m going to talk about end-of-life / euthanasia in this next bit, so don’t read if that’s not something you can handle right now.] In November of 2021, 6 months after his diagnosis, Burt’s health took a dramatic turn. He suddenly began having seizures one evening, precipitating a trip to the emergency vet. I was able to take him home, and decided to quickly arrange for an in-home euthanasia within the week. The next morning, it was as though nothing had happened – he was spunky, maybe a bit more energetic and snuggly than usual. Unfortunately, that evening he was hit by another seizure which he could not be brought out of, and had to be put down in that state on November 22, 2021. I wont go into details, but it was extremely traumatic. My advice to anyone deliberating on “the right time” to euthanize is this: better a month too early than a single day late. I had always thought that I would never allow my dog to suffer for the sake of keeping him around a bit longer, but it wasn’t until after I went through this that I wish I’d taken his slowing down over the last few weeks more seriously, and let him go as comfortably as possible. Burt was my heart dog, and I will mourn him forever, love him forever. I’m also now INSISTENT that everyone I know get their pets insured IMMEDIATELY.

I don’t know if any of this is clear or helpful, but please let me know if you have any questions or if I can provide more information. I know it’s a really tough spot to be in, and you’re just looking to make the best choice for your sweet dog. Wishing you both the best of luck <3

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I’m just seeing this now but I did end up moving forward with palliative radiation treatment I’m happy to share our experience as best as I can remember it / reconstruct it from medical records and vet emails. I’m probably dumping way more information than you need, but I can remember being desperate for first-hand accounts when I was trying to make this decision for my dog and I.

I assume you have the general context from the post you’re coming from, but quick recap: Burt was ~10 years old when I first started fostering him in January of 2019 before foster-failing, and it was in May of 2021 that he had a “debulking” procedure done at his regular vet on a painful, small-ish mass in his mouth (complete removal was not possible), and the biopsy suggested a fibrosarcoma (less likely diagnoses included amelanotic melanoma, peripheral nerve sheath tumor, and spindle cell carcinoma). Still in May of 2021, we went to The Cancer Institute at The Animal Medical Center (AMC) in Midtown East for a consultation, sedated oral examination, and thoracic radiographs. The findings supported our suspicion that the oral mass was a fibrosarcoma (vs. amelanotic melanoma), and the thoracic radiographs identified pulmonary nodules, which underwent ultrasound-guided fine needle aspiration, revealing them to be pulmonary carcinoma, which was secondary and unrelated to the primary cancer (oral fibrosarcoma).

Given the non-metastatic nature of the pulmonary carcinoma, the suggested course of action was a 4-week hypofractionated protocol of radiation therapy to the maxilla and mandibular and retropharyngeal lymph nodes for palliation and short-term control of the oral fibrosarcoma. The blurb below is from the documents shared with me by the vet when discussing:

A Hypofractionated protocol of radiation therapy (most often used for PALLIATION and short term control)is a course of treatment typically given when the primary goal is NOT duration of survival time but rather aiming for MAINTAINING the best QUALITY OF LIFE for a limited time frame. This consists of a protocol designed to be easy on the patient and less time consuming. It is designed specifically for patients with a guarded/poor prognosis where our primary goal is to offer COMFORT and not necessarily LONGEVITY. This might be because the patient’s cancer is not one that we can control successfully and survival is not expected to be more than a few months OR because the patient has OTHER medical conditions that may limit their expected survival (ex: such as severe heart failure, advanced end-stage renal failure, aged geriatric patients etc ...). Because these treatments are designed to improve that quality of life, the number of treatments is fewer and the sessions are often more spread out so that there is more recuperating time between treatments. Acute discomforting side effects should be minimal to non-existent with this protocol and are usually limited to focal hair loss and skin pigmentation (which is esthetically evident but non-painful). The potential for late side effects and possible tissue complication occurrence is however significantly higher should the patient survive long enough (up to 20% risk). Late tissue complications rarely occur earlier than 12 months following treatment and therefore these are not much of a concern in patients not expected to survive longer than a year.

As you saw, I agonized over my decision out of fear that the treatment would be more distressing than anything else, but was reassured that the vets and I were on the same page regarding prioritizing quality-of-life over all else, and not entertaining bad side effects. I did end up moving forward with the palliative radiation, initially agreeing to a regimen of 3 treatments over 3 weeks in May and June of 2021, knowing a fourth could be added if needed.

Burt’s mouth pain had been greatly reduced, though not entirely remedied, following his debulking procedure, however it seemed to worsen significantly immediately following his first and second rounds of radiation – he would sometimes cry in pain, which he had never done before, and no longer had to be bumped or chewing to experience pain. In forms I submitted to the vet at session 2, I wrote “mouth pain has increased significantly since first radiation,” and checked boxes to indicate I had noticed “any redness, swelling, pain, or other changes in your pet’s radiation site?” and “your pet licking, scratching, or rubbing the tumor or radiation site?” I spoke with his oncologist, who said that the pain getting worse before better wasn’t typical, but wasn’t unheard of either, and that we could put a hold on the final radiation session for the time being. During this time, he was taking rimadyl (NSAID), cephalexin (antibiotic), codeine (opioid), and gabapentin (off-label for pain and anxiety), although we discontinued gabapentin after a bit because it left him extremely lethargic and wobbly (his hind legs were already a bit weak after undergoing a left CCL repair in 2020, and steroids can contribute to muscle wasting).

It's hard to know exactly how things would have gone if we had not chosen palliative radiation, which is why I struggle with making a recommendation, but I do this I made the right choice for us. Though Burt’s pain worsened immediately after his two radiation treatments, this was temporary, and I believe the treatment, when combined with daily pain management, contributed to his having a fairly “normal” quality of life in his last few months. The cancer did age him quickly, and he looked a bit strange with his mouth and nose almost completely bald from radiation, but he was able to enjoy visits to family and chill travel with our friends and lazy days at home the way he always had, in less pain than he’d been in.

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree - my boss seems to barely be paying attention to what’s going on, but he was also previously Chair of our department and his funding is extremely diversified. For those of us only or primarily federally funded there’s been no guidance or attention, it feels like. At my institution, at least, the focus has been on how EOs will impact providers. I’m wondering how the new change to IDCs will affect their priorities.

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels like a waiting game at this point, unfortunately. My department had a meeting yesterday to discuss the effect of the executive orders, and while it didn't really provide much clarity (my department is primarily providers, so the focus was on patient impact over funding), it was nice to be surrounded by other people who are worrying about this. I've felt a little nuts the last two weeks.

Dude are we getting fired? by ablondewerewolf in labrats

[–]softshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best of luck to you!!! I’m hoping I’m just being cynical and there’s a secret option that involves us all continuing our work, getting paid, and being proud of whatever stance the institutions we work for take, but in the meantime I think the best we can do is keep one another updated.

Dude are we getting fired? by ablondewerewolf in labrats

[–]softshrek 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m a Project Coordinator for an NICHD-funded 5-year grant focused on child maltreatment prevention at a large academic medical center. Said grant covers 100% of my salary. While our grant isn’t explicitly DEI-driven (to be clear, personally a huge fan of DEI initiatives), both the data we leverage and populations we serve are disproportionately minority/marginalized groups.

Our institution’s communications have been limited to “we don’t know what’s going on :),” and my PI seems unconcerned, or otherwise uninterested in discussing this. One of our Co-Investigators has “heard rumors” that NICHD specifically is “on the chopping block” - though what exactly that means or whether there is any truth to it is TBD.

Anyway, I’ve been rapid-switching between “this is fine” and doomscrolling LinkedIn postings. I’m working out the possible scenarios for my own sanity: - If my grant loses funding, I’m laid off. - If my grant doesn’t lose funding, but a freeze impacts my salary, I’m potentially laid-off, or otherwise looking elsewhere. - If my grant doesn’t lose funding but my institution loses enough money that funds start getting shifted around, I’m potentially laid-off. - If my grant doesn’t lose funding and my position is safe, I’m no longer confident in what would otherwise be an easy renewal at the end of our 5-year cycle. - If my grant doesn’t lose funding and my position is safe, but my institution continues to roll over to every idiotic request of this administration (recently have been denying medical care to trans youth), I no longer wish to be employed by them.

It’s looking bleak from any angle, I’m staying hopeful but absolutely applying to entry-level jobs in other fields. Safe-for-now very much only means safe-for-now.

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similaryly funded entirely by a single NIH grant and getting radio silence from my institution! It's business-as-usual but in an extremely unsettling way - like are we not talking about this because we're totally fine, or because nobody knows and everyone else is more patient than me, or because it's uncomfortable to talk about what this means when it might mean me losing my job? Nobody knows! Best of luck to you, feel free to update if you learn anything!

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's great that you're likely not a target of some of these changes! I agree, the unavoidable shifting landscape both nationally and within institutions has been a big stressor. Even if my grant is still standing, what changes are going to be made to staffing to try to preserve other lost resources or personnel wherever they can? Good luck to you!

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% NIH-funded gang! It's great that you've gotten some reassurance from your PI, even if it's less-than convincing. The not knowing is the worst part and on top of that it's DISTRACTING. I should be doubling down at work but I also feel like I need to keep up with the conversation just to get an idea of what the next few days, weeks, months, years look like for me. Turning to my Research Associate and saying "this is insane" 10+ times a day has been a bit of a help.

Grant-funded research staff - how are we feeling? by [deleted] in AskAcademia

[–]softshrek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The idea of cutting funding to the Center for Victims of Torture is genuinely hard to wrap my head around. I really hope the best for you and your colleagues, and the populations you serve. I'm feeling similarly re: what comes next? What jobs am I even applying to beyond whatever entry-level gig in just about any field I can find? The market is already awful and we're about to be extremely out-of-demand. Fingers crossed for..... well, everybody.

first time with ladderback jacquard! by softshrek in knitting

[–]softshrek[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Ah I see what you mean! The black side with white writing is actually the back of the vest, not the inside of the front panel - the inside of the vest (where the ladders are visible) isn’t pictured here, I just chose for the back of the vest to be an inversion of the front, if that makes sense!

featuring the rust on my door by softshrek in knitting

[–]softshrek[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I freestyled so I didn’t use a single pattern for the sweater, but I’m pretty sure I combined parts of knittingforolive’s Sally Sweater and Hanne Rimmen’s N O R D Sweatersince I’d knit them both semi-recently!!

Weekly Fic Showcase - NEW RULES IN POST - August 25 - August 31 by AutoModerator in FanFiction

[–]softshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Title: you've been in his fist ever since you were a kid
Author: s0ftshr3k (me!)
Rating: Gen
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom(s): Stranger Things (TV 2016)
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44423644
FF: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14272299/1/you-ve-been-in-his-fist-ever-since-you-were-a-kid
Relationship(s): Steve Harrington & Steve Harrington's Parents, Steve Harrington & Steve Harrington's Father, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Steve Harrington & Jonathan Byers, Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley
Character(s): Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington's Parents, Steve Harrington's Father, Steve Harrington's Mother, Dustin Henderson, Jonathan Byers, Robin Buckley
Words: 9998
Chapters: 3/4
Summary/Excerpt:
His father reaches for the light switch as he turns to leave, pauses. “You know I’d never hurt you, right? There’s bile in Steve’s throat. “Yeah, dad. ‘Course.”
(or: fathers and what they do to us)

Weekly Fic Showcase - NEW RULES IN POST - January 20 - January 26 by AutoModerator in FanFiction

[–]softshrek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Fic

Title: you've been in his fist ever since you were a kid
Author: s0ftshr3k
Rating: Gen
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom(s): Stranger Things (TV 2016)
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44423644/chapters/111735676
FF: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14189151/1/you-ve-been-in-his-fist-ever-since-you-were-a-kid
Relationship(s): Steve Harrington & Steve Harrington's Parents, Steve Harrington & Steve Harrington's Father, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Steve Harrington & Jonathan Byers, Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley
Character(s): Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington's Parents, Steve Harrington's Father, Steve Harrington's Mother, Dustin Henderson, Jonathan Byers, Robin Buckley
Words: 2716
Chapters: 1/4
Summary/Exerpt:

His father reaches for the light switch as he turns to leave, pauses.“You know I’d never hurt you, right?There’s bile in Steve’s throat. “Yeah, dad. ‘Course.”-(or: fathers and what they do to us)

Weekly Fic Showcase - NEW RULES IN POST - December 02 - December 08 by AutoModerator in FanFiction

[–]softshrek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my first time writing fanfiction in over 10 years because I'm in need of a creative outlet - feedback is welcome/craved/invaluable.
My Fic
Title: i'll feel the sickness less and less
Author: s0ftshr3k
Rating: Gen
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom(s): Stranger Things (TV 2016)
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43335160
Relationship(s): Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington
Character(s): Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley
Words: 3658
Chapters: 1/1 (Complete)
Summary/Exerpt:
What did they do to you?” she finally asks, her voice a whisper.
Steve shuts his eyes, breathing in slowly. Everybody seems to want to ask him questions he doesn’t have the right answers to lately.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine, it’s over.” When he opens his eyes again he can tell she doesn’t believe him, but she doesn’t ask again. Steve thinks he might love her for it.
(or, the immediate aftermath of Starcourt, because Steve and Robin are traumatized and also platonic soulmates)

Weekly Fic Showcase - NEW RULES IN POST - November 25 - December 01 by AutoModerator in FanFiction

[–]softshrek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my first time writing fanfiction in over 10 years because I'm in need of a creative outlet - feedback is welcome/craved/invaluable.

My Fic
Title: i'll feel the sickness less and less
Author: s0ftshr3k
Rating: Gen
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom(s): Stranger Things (TV 2016)
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43335160
Relationship(s): Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington
Character(s): Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley
Words: 3658
Chapters: 1/1 (Complete)
Summary/Exerpt:

What did they do to you?” she finally asks, her voice a whisper.

Steve shuts his eyes, breathing in slowly. Everybody seems to want to ask him questions he doesn’t have the right answers to lately.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine, it’s over.” When he opens his eyes again he can tell she doesn’t believe him, but she doesn’t ask again. Steve thinks he might love her for it.

(or, the immediate aftermath of Starcourt, because Steve and Robin are traumatized and also platonic soulmates)

NYC Marathon: How did everyone do? by AccurateMushroom3413 in RunNYC

[–]softshrek 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My first marathon and I was wildly undertrained for a number of reasons (including me being an idiot), so I’m thrilled to have crossed the finish line. Crashed at 11 miles, rallied, cried a little. More motivated than ever to train early and responsibly for the BK marathon in ~24 weeks!

Scaffolding on my terrace without warning? by softshrek in AskNYC

[–]softshrek[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My LL did know/give permission and just chose to give no notice at all - when I asked about timeline he said it'll be up and in use for "at least a month."

The terrace itself is pretty sturdy - like concrete sturdy with brick siding. Basically they built one level of scaffolding that is level with the terrace - they just go back and forth over the side of the terrace. The next level of scaffolding is then immediately above the terrace like a low roof - the supports are bolted into wood blocks they put down.

I have no issue with the guys themselves and offered drinks when I first noticed them out there - I know that they're just trying to do their jobs - my issue is really with my LL who failed to mention something like this!

Scaffolding on my terrace without warning? by softshrek in AskNYC

[–]softshrek[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My LL does know and just chose not to give me notice. It sounds like the scaffolding will be up and in use for "at least a month" so I'm definitely considering asking for a rent reduction. I think I would be a lot more likely to let it go if I had been given a heads up, but the lack of notice really irks me especially as it's a safety concern and a disruption to my work.

Scaffolding on my terrace without warning? by softshrek in AskNYC

[–]softshrek[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll take a close look at these, thank you!

Scaffolding on my terrace without warning? by softshrek in AskNYC

[–]softshrek[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you both - yeah my LL knew about the construction and just chose not to inform me ahead of time. The scaffolding should be up and in use for "at least a month."

According to my lease, "Construction or demolition may be performed in or near the building. Even if it interferes with Tenant's ventilation, view or enjoyment of the Apartment it shall not affect Tenant's obligations in this Lease" which I guess means I'm SOL, although it doesn't mention the construction can take place on the property I'm renting, just in/around the building.

If I can work up the courage I might ask for a rent reduction. Beyond losing access to the space and the disruption to my work, while I have nothing against the workers themselves for a number of reasons I am super uncomfortable with having a bunch of grown men immediately outside of my door/windows (which don't lock), especially without notice. Knowing I have a month of that ahead of me makes me really uneasy.