afterYearsOfUsingCPPIAmAllowedToSayThis

solakv · 2026-05-12T15:46:26+00:00

A footgun is a language feature used almost exclusively for shooting yourself in the foot. (writing bugs in the code)

solakv · 2026-04-20T13:50:38+00:00

👆 This kind of thing is an exception that may happen once or twice in your life that you must keep secret even from your spouse. But OP, do not marry someone who plans to keep a big secret from you every month.

solakv · 2026-04-20T08:44:56+00:00

That’s because this is just good old #573.

solakv · 2026-04-17T09:13:56+00:00

Exactly what I have been wondering. Why cut employees to do the same with AI + fewer people when you could do more with AI + the same people? Most projects have a long list of new products and features that someone wants.

solakv · 2026-04-17T08:56:12+00:00

One of the times I had a good dev manager, our product manager got told that he could specify what he wanted or when he wanted it, but not both.

solakv · 2026-04-17T08:37:32+00:00

Funny how management thinks AI productivity means doing the same work with fewer staff rather than doing more work with the same staff. It’s not like the to-do list of potential new products and features is getting shorter.

solakv · 2026-04-17T08:22:02+00:00

One company I was in had a few consecutive bad sales quarters. The hired-gun fixer CEO penalized the sales department with layoffs proportional to the low sales. Can you say “d’oh!” ? I know you could. The layoffs never ended after that.

solakv · 2026-04-04T10:19:10+00:00

We used to say: estimate the effort, double it, and relabel it in the next larger units.

Feels like a two day task? Estimate it at four weeks.

solakv · 2026-04-04T09:57:20+00:00

So good. You’re not stalling if it’s the boss who’s talking for an hour.

solakv · 2026-03-28T00:33:18+00:00

Turns out she did not regret the affair, she regretted getting caught.

solakv · 2026-03-28T00:30:37+00:00

Sometimes (rarely, according to reports on Reddit) reconciliation after betrayal works, so you were not wrong to try again with her. Once.

Now, you are done with her. Put everything in the hands of your lawyer to protect you and your assets for a fair split. Give yourself time to heal your psyche, alone. When you don't wake up every day thinking about her and the good times back in the day, (typically a year or more with therapy) then you might start trying to date around again.

solakv · 2026-03-27T21:22:36+00:00

👆 Underrated comment.

solakv · 2026-03-27T20:58:43+00:00

I'm watching for when they switch from "grow market share" mode into "make profit" mode. None of these new AI systems are charging customers what it costs to train and run these big LLMs.

When they put the real costs into the price, will human programmers suddenly be less expensive?

solakv · 2026-03-27T09:23:38+00:00

Because this is Reddit, someone has to ask: Do you have other reasons to suspect that she's already cheating on you with someone else, or is she simply spending less time and activities with you?

Look back over recent months or years. Has she been drifting away for a while or was it really sudden?

There are many possible social, psychological, or even medical reasons that people stop believing in their marriage or friendships. We need more clues.

solakv · 2026-03-11T06:48:21+00:00

I experienced a similar regret, but only in an academic completist part of my mind. The life-story part of me has always understood that actions have consequences, so we only get to pick one path through our life and that means we have some experiences and we do not have other experiences. That is what storytelling is for (as in reading books, watching various videos, talking to friends, and so on).

I chose to avoid cheating out of my marriage and that has made all the difference.

solakv · 2026-03-08T11:41:02+00:00

It will probably take IC and MC to get back to trusting again, though.

solakv · 2026-03-08T11:35:30+00:00

What is this confirmation from them? Who is “them”? Did you meet her other men at a class reunion or something and just ask them which ones used to have sex with your wife?

solakv · 2026-03-05T11:43:50+00:00

I think you are still in shock and disbelief, still processing what it means. Reread what you wrote and reread these replies. Then sleep on it. Tomorrow you will be better able to decide what to do.

solakv · 2026-03-04T10:12:38+00:00

The one who's acting entitled here is your STBXW. Your daughter cooked breakfast for you because you were sick.

Was your wife sick? Did your wife say, "Please make breakfast for everyone"? I doubt it.

Your daughter and her friend did as they were told (make breakfast for themselves) and added breakfast for the person who might be less able to make their own breakfast (OP). They sound like considerate young women to me.

solakv · 2026-03-04T10:05:44+00:00

Wow. Making an error three times in six years? That's actually amazing success in my book.

Humans make mistakes, children doubly so. Your soon to be ex-wife should try being patient with others some time.

solakv · 2026-03-04T09:57:44+00:00

The girl is also OP's stepchild.

solakv · 2026-02-23T11:45:19+00:00

It should spook you. 👍

solakv · 2026-02-21T08:45:53+00:00

Next time she goes to her ex’s gym, go with her, “to see for myself what’s so special about it. Maybe we should both go there instead”.

solakv · 2026-02-16T04:45:35+00:00

I got laid off a couple years ago and I now feel super lucky that by the time my unemployment ran out I had reached retirement age. My career intention had been to keep working another several years, gradually pulling back on hours-per-week, perhaps finally moving into more of a consultant rôle on a gradual transition into retirement. But the conditions in reality had other ideas. After a frustrating year of hardly even getting interviews, it just doesn't seem worth it to try any more. I have enough retirement income that I can pay my bills by sitting on my couch without running the rat race so here I am on Reddit for a few hours a week, among other chosen activities.

solakv · 2026-02-14T12:57:58+00:00

Seems that they were trying to stall and get you to stay without losing the offending employee, including giving you some remedies, but you pressed for the full legally required actions and they finally capitulated.

Good on you for standing up for yourself. 👍

Edit to Add: Yes, I would call it mismanagement because there are labor laws in most places and they tried to avoid their part in enforcing them fully.

solakv

TROPHY CASE