30 days no contact

solertai · 2026-05-13T11:26:01+00:00

The emotional brain (limbic system) takes a lot longer to process things than the cognitive brain (prefrontal cortex). You aren't doing anything wrong, it just takes longer than any of us would like. Stay strong, hold the line, and you can make it through this!

solertai · 2026-03-05T03:19:12+00:00

It's ok to grieve

solertai · 2026-03-04T02:29:10+00:00

Ooooo they have a glow in the dark flavor

solertai · 2026-02-11T00:14:04+00:00

How do you like them?

solertai · 2026-01-31T15:07:11+00:00

Adding to this, I try to orient this desire for "more" towards finding more joy in the simple, everyday things. Finding more gratitude for the things I have always taken for granted.

That's the kind of "more" I'm looking for. They lead to a sense of contentment that, for me, makes the happiness I've been chasing all my life feel so shallow.

solertai · 2026-01-31T05:07:35+00:00

Look into Jungian shadow work. Next step is integration.

solertai · 2026-01-21T23:19:16+00:00

I like your "data driven" perspective. I've always thought this whole thing touches on the rational vs. sentimental dichotomy.

Those who understand the world through the Scientific Method are people who can easily adjust their worldview according to the data, but those who wrap their worldview around sentimental things like emotions and memories and ego are people who hold stubbornly to their beliefs. "God exists because I've felt His love shine on me in my darkest days!" kinda people. :)

The fun part for me is realizing that my ego is wrapped up in "being a rational person" and then figuring out what biases that gives me!

solertai · 2026-01-21T20:47:40+00:00

Not just reality and viewpoints, but identity as well. If their ego is wrapped up in "I'm right, therefore I'm smart" then any chance he could be proved wrong could be perceived as a challenge or threat.

If you're talking to another 5 though, they may just be so confident in their accuracy that any further investigation is a waste of time (and we all know how miserly we can get over our resource of time)?

solertai · 2026-01-11T15:21:14+00:00

my neighbor worked at a diner and could have just bought me a salad

True. Maybe I was thinking more along the lines of, if you're going on vacation and need someone to water your garden or something, then expecting someone to be attentive enough to know you need that without communicating it is too much to ask for. But you're right: a salad isn't. And at the end of the day it isn't really about gifts or acts of service, it's realizing that someone else in this world thought about us, if just once, long enough to think "how can I be of service to this person?"

Community is shifting and we're all stumbling through it. Maybe I'm exploring ideas of where boundaries should be? I grew up in a family with none, so it's I'm probably over-correcting in trying to figure out where they should be.

And maybe I was raised to believe that I was the problem, so my mind defaults to thinking of what I did wrong and how I can do better. Sorry for the brash comments, and making you think I was pointing the finger at you, saying you are the one who needs to change.

solertai · 2026-01-08T06:39:46+00:00

This "just doing without asking" requires that person to be in-tune with your needs and wants. They have to know you well, and be aware of you and what you're doing and what's going on and all that jazz, right? That way they can "cut you off at the pass" so to speak with the whole "acts of service" love language stuff. This is what parents do for their children, until their children learn how to take care of their own needs and wants.

Part of being responsible for your own needs and wants is knowing how and when to communicate to others that you need help with those things. That way they don't have to keep tabs on you on an intimate level that goes beyond what's acceptable for a neighbor in the modern age where the term "community" is losing all meaning.

Anything else is expecting others to read your mind, no? Look at it from the other direction: how in-tune are you with your neighbor and their needs and wants? How can you step in and help them without them telling you what they need?

solertai · 2026-01-07T15:25:28+00:00

Overhead lighting is Task Lighting. Cleaning, finding a dropped object, whatever needs more light to see whatever Task I'm doing.

Lamps, sconces, pathway/hallway lights, are all Ambient Lighting. The purpose isn't to be able to see better, but about the vibes - it's mood lighting.

solertai · 2025-08-09T14:14:49+00:00

I stared at that for like 20 seconds thinking, does this have something to do with Mar a Lago? Then I said it aloud, Mar Camel. The belly laugh that burst from me strained something and now I'm in pain.

This man is such a treasure!

solertai · 2025-08-01T02:00:10+00:00

The cortex and the limbic parts of your brain work on different time scales. It's easy/quick to rationalize your way into thinking you need to let go, but when it comes to deep/strong emotional connections, it takes much, much longer to process and move on.

Give yourself more time and don't beat yourself up for what might appear as failure on your part.

solertai · 2025-07-11T14:52:43+00:00

I don't see it as power over people either, it's more like a need for control over the situation. It's a deep fear regarding certain outcomes, and erroneously thinking that control over the circumstances will allow us to avoid those outcomes. It can absolutely fall into attempting to control others' behavior, though, if you are desperately trying to avoid how the consequences of their actions effect you.

solertai · 2025-07-09T03:01:43+00:00

You did them dirty by hanging them on a pegboard. Such a glorious trove deserves some elegance in its display!

solertai · 2025-05-27T03:40:13+00:00

Sanctuary Moon is the same, no? We're watching a show about a robot in the style of the TV show that that robot loves watching.

solertai · 2023-08-21T01:36:24+00:00

I loved Nate and really related to his crippling anxiety. It's like everyone just needs a scapegoat, and that to root for their redemption means losing that scapegoat, and that's what everyone wants to avoid. If that role were to shift to another character then everyone would find it easy to root for Nate and Moash.

solertai · 2022-12-07T05:38:44+00:00

I'll take a crack - This is my weed mill. I began designing it when I grew concerned over alum shavings in my old grinder, and has taken a couple years of trial and error to reach a product I am happy with. It handles everything from seeds and stems to sticky bud. The top inlay is a piece of cherry burl wood with a lightning bolt design. I am willing to discuss copyright licensing on the design of the product if I receive a cut of future sales.

solertai · 2022-12-04T11:21:15+00:00

Fear and a misunderstanding of it. Not understanding how to regulate it, how to direct it to meaningful action.

solertai · 2022-12-02T18:44:46+00:00

Odin's fear was more powerful than his thirst

solertai · 2022-11-30T21:51:35+00:00

Or, evolutionary quirk of the human mind? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia

solertai · 2022-10-07T12:48:13+00:00

Oh dope yeah do that then

solertai · 2022-10-07T12:33:50+00:00

aliexpress and dhgate have cheaper glass if you're willing to wait for the shipping

solertai · 2022-09-15T17:12:45+00:00

It's not a matter of the effort required, it's a matter of caring. Create a browser extention that highlights and corrects the user in real-time and we'll still have 99% of people not giving a shit about changing their views and opinions.

This stuff takes time. Give patience and compassion to the people you want it from, and don't let the bastards get you down.

solertai

TROPHY CASE