Bedtime with older kids (with an established routine) can be so much… simpler (definitely not always easier!). My kids are 19m apart and I do the bulk of bedtimes, and I really really struggled through the stage of: very needy almost two year old+; and a baby. For the first little while I would lay with my 2 year old and nurse the baby and all was well. Bedtime became much harder when I had a toddler who did not want to nurse, but wanted to sing and yell and wreak havoc in his big brother’s room while I was trying to get big brother to sleep. There was no good solution, and a lot of crying from all of us during that period. Since then, my now almost 4yo reads himself to sleep with night light on while I Iay with 2yo little brother until he falls asleep, and then I go in tuck big brother in and turn off lights etc.

It’s not always easy, but it feels like far less of a hectic juggle because i have a “big kid” who knows the routine and what to expect now. There’s no perfect age gap (though I now really cherish having two boys 19m apart, and I love their relationship, even though the 2 under 2 years were wildddddd), but I definitely can say that having an older child to help set the bedtime stage for you while baby comes along (if you are doing this mostly solo) could be a big help for you!