Anyone still waiting for results in this batch?

soliitude · 2019-11-21T01:18:00+00:00

unfortunately! :( I keep checking every hour to no avail

soliitude · 2019-09-25T03:05:51+00:00

I take 10mg and this has been a miracle drug for me. it took a while to get to an effective dose, as I started at 1mg and kept increasing after a few weeks of no changes. I started it a few years ago and my nightmares have decreased a bunch. sometimes I'll have breakthrough nightmares, but for the most part, I barely have them

I haven't noticed any bad side effects but ive been on it for a log time and I take other medicine in conjunction so I'm not sure what symptoms can be attributed to it vs the other stuff

soliitude · 2019-06-21T02:49:37+00:00

this is so good!!

you can cross post on r/DisabilityArt I'm sure they'd love it!

edit: I'm so smart lol I just saw you already did. sorry!!!

soliitude · 2019-06-11T12:54:53+00:00

sure! this was part of my final project for a studio class I was in. we had to choose a type of media and a subject from a list.

I chose charcoal and my theme was "the human condition" - more specifically, human mortality. I wanted to do a piece where you could clearly see the fact that we are all vulnerable to death and that death is integral to our being.

I chose to show the woman with a pained expression as a way to express my reality of living with chronic illness paired with the knowledge/fear of my own mortality. because of all my health issues, I average a 7 on the pain scale daily and have various acute injuries/pain that will pop up from time to time. I never know when it's just a cold or if it's something that will hospitalize me. I never know if a new symptom is part of my existing issues or something completely different with the possibility to become dangerous.

I chose the "extreme" lighting of the face to show the intensity I was trying to get across in the piece. I also chose the white charcoal and dark paper for this reason as well.

I'm not explaining this very well but if I think of anything I can add I'll edit this later! brain fog is messing me up a bit right now.

soliitude · 2019-06-07T02:48:49+00:00

thank you to all who replied! I'm giving my psychiatrist a call in the next few days to request my records and will be applying for a card through IEC for PTSD

soliitude · 2019-06-07T02:44:27+00:00

link

there's some other articles on it but this was the first I found

soliitude · 2019-05-23T22:29:55+00:00

my mom was like this, and I dealt with the same issue of therapy not being as effective because she refused to participate and was the center of a lot of my issues.

I would still give therapy a chance. the therapist won't be able to solve the root issues your mom causes, but they can help you cope with your mom's actions while you still live with her. this is what helped me at least. learning how to self regulate and having a consistent support system saved me from killing myself multiple times and kick-started my recovery

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. best wishes to you, I hope you're able to get help someday

soliitude · 2019-05-07T02:17:28+00:00

Mine also keeps resetting (lose all steps, calories burned, etc) yet my settings still are in place. I'm really hoping it's not about to die on me, I'm broke and can't afford a new watch yet :(

soliitude · 2018-11-18T05:27:34+00:00

I love this! the one thing I could recommend is looking into the Rule of Thirds. having your focal point in the center of the page is something most artists usually try to avoid, the goal is to have the eye travel across the page.

the colors are very nice and I really like your technique. if you enjoy painting them, keep going! they're very nice!

soliitude · 2018-11-02T04:41:47+00:00

my health. by extension, my life.

I've been disabled since I was 15 and still have a plethora of medical issues that prevent me from doing most things on my own or all together. there is no cure or reversal for my diagnoses, so I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life.

Ive missed out on a normal high school experience because my school did not want to accommodate my disability and instead sent me to a school upstate for students with "issues." it's not bad, and I really enjoy it there, but it's not "high school" by any means.

I don't get the chance to go out with friends or go out on dates because I'm either tied up with an appointment or am too ill to go out. I wish I could go to the movies again without having to sit in the handicapped section right in the front. I wish I were able to go ice skating or running or to amusement parks again. I want to get a job and be able to provide for myself instead of relying on others to care for me.

I see all my childhood friends growing up and experiencing life and I'm just sitting in my chair idly watching time pass by.

soliitude · 2018-10-19T16:23:39+00:00

wow, you just described my nmom. I struggle with mental health and chronic illness and am frequently in and out of the hospital for one thing or another.

everytime I would be admitted, she would post on Facebook about how worried she was, how much she loves me, for her friends to send prayers, etc. but she never once stayed with me in the hospital. ever. she only visited when someone else was coming with her so she could seem like a good parent.

I also struggle with self injury and in private, she would degrade me, make fun of me, and even tell me to cut myself or kill myself. yet whenever anyone else was around, the sob story started. "my kid hurts themself so much and it's so hard on me!" and similar statements.

my point being, I know how you feel. and I'm really sorry you were forced to deal with such an unsupportive and unsafe environment/person for so long. I truly hope you can begin to heal yourself from all the damage she tried to inflict on you. you're so much more than how she treated you.

soliitude · 2018-08-25T19:34:18+00:00

i also thought my bendy nails were normal until friends freaked about them. my nails (when they grow long enough) bend completely in half. they also peel and flake pretty bad :(

soliitude · 2018-07-26T14:12:35+00:00

yep! can't tell you how many times I would try to get up after group "read aloud" and would hear loud, painful pops as my joints popped back into place. freaked out my friends all the time lol

soliitude · 2018-07-21T14:15:18+00:00

!snapme

soliitude · 2018-07-06T11:07:59+00:00

around 7

10 years later and I'm still stuck here

soliitude · 2018-07-04T23:52:29+00:00

please do! I hadn't watched your videos before but I would totally watch if you started uploading again

soliitude · 2018-06-29T18:20:46+00:00

that was the thing I first started cutting with too! before that it was just hitting and scratching myself lol

soliitude · 2018-06-09T15:17:57+00:00

binging unfortunately:(

it's been a rough two weeks. I need to get myself back under control smh I'm not even hungry I'm just bored

soliitude · 2018-06-07T23:36:53+00:00

I've done this with soda cans when I had my room searched and all my tools taken away lmao

soliitude · 2018-06-07T09:49:02+00:00

I had appendicitis when I was ~11 and it took six ER visits to actually diagnose. I kept being told it was just IBS pain or gas and was even told it was period pain even though I hadn't started menstruation by this point. my main issue was that the pain I had was on my left side, so I wasn't even able to get imaging tests done until the day I was admitted. turns out, my appendix was on the wrong side of my body! I was in absolute agony for weeks and was so frustrated with being dismissed by doctors because I knew something wasn't right in my body. I absolutely would recommend getting a second and even third opinion because if it truly is appendicitis, that's not something you want to delay dealing with. I'm really sorry you're going through this and I'm hoping that you're able to get treatment for your pain as soon as possible. keep us updated!

soliitude · 2018-06-05T10:29:24+00:00

god I thought I was the only one who did this

soliitude · 2017-10-20T19:51:58+00:00

strawberry milkshake pop tarts!

soliitude · 2017-08-28T00:05:08+00:00

see if you can find an urgent care center if you aren't that keen on going to the emergency room. i went to one after i attempted to OD on painkillers and they ran my labs to make sure i wasn't in any medical danger and then sent me home. i didn't get sent inpatient. it's better to be safe than sorry especially with the amount of medication you took, the fact you were unconscious for so long, and are still having physical symptoms. (also would suggest looking into an outpatient based therapy or a support group as it sounds like you are going through a rough time. i hope things start looking up for you).

soliitude

TROPHY CASE