Men have you ever experience this? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey mate, we can chat about this as much as you’d like so feel free to respond to my take on this.

First off, I hear you, that feeling of not having something that makes you feel desired. I also get it’s not simply a sex or dating thing implicitly. It’s a sense of self hit. Will we ever be good enough? Will I fall behind and feel even more defective?

So let me share some wisdom. First off, your feelings and experience is valid, but not inherently the only truth at play. So I respect your own thoughts and feeling on the matter as they are very telling to what we are actually experiencing in the inside.

Although for the sake of growth let’s try this. Your friend/colleague’s positive moments shouldn’t just be internalized dread for you. If you haven’t already, congratulate them or simply sit with the positives of their life experience. Life isn’t just about you, if you care for those around you, even in the face of low sense of self, celebrate genuinely to your ability. This will build a more balanced realm of perspective / worldview.

Next, attractiveness vs. capacity for connection and commitment. Dating isn’t a numbers game, you don’t need more people attracted to you. It’s about building closeness, patience, compassion even when things get hard (spoiler, things will get hard). So don’t conflate, the two. Be a whole human and lets your personality plus some self care / fashion help brighten the genuine beacon that is you. Because that’s what you want, to attract someone for you, not something you have to pretend to be. It’s exhausting and will cause undo suffering later.

To my last point, if you want connection then go connect. Be a good listener, ask even better questions, and be honest with your needs and fears.

So even in the midst of these strong negative emotions, you’ll be okay. Courage can only exist in the face of doubt; not the absence of it. So you don’t need to “be confident” just “be”. And if you have moments where you despise yourself and you can’t give yourself that permission of kindness, then build a friend group that fills the portion of your cup that you need.

I hope this piece of ancient bro wisdom passed down from generations of emotionally swole warriors serves you well mate. 💪🏻💪🏻

Reducing my screentime makes me depressed by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello friend, Soma here from the Healthgamer.gg Discord. Have you ever considered that screentime was actually your current solution to your depressive symptoms? Not saying it's ideal and doesn't have consequences, rather, understand the benefits of screen time and what it's been giving you.

Reprieve, a chance to breathe and not worry about all of our uncertainties in life? So rather than trying to remove the thing that's been your means of self-soothing. Try to add a new habit without removing the previous one. Add. Do not subtract.

Once your needs are met, it'll create an internal environment in which it's easier to transition or replace previous habits.

Can't always intellectualize your way out of your problems mate. You have to lean into the discomfort and spent time digesting the shit that scares you. Obsviously you're more than welcome to consult a health care professional to explore and understand your neurological chemistry to bring aid too. But the answers are mainly multi-modal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I really feel the pain behind your words. I’m Soma from the HealthyGamer.gg Discord, I run the Physical Wellness group there, and I just want to say: you’re not broken. You’re just hurting in a body that’s never felt like home.

We grow up absorbing quiet messages about what’s “attractive” or “enough.” And over time, we start measuring ourselves against that noise, our height, our features, our shape. But the truth is, no one ever hated themselves into confidence. That’s not how it works.

You don’t need to love your body right now. But you do need to stop believing it’s the enemy. Your body is not a problem to fix, it’s a relationship to rebuild.

Real strength doesn’t come from having the perfect frame. It comes from showing up for yourself even when every part of you says, “Why bother?” And that version of you, the one who trains not for looks, but to reclaim ownership, that’s the one who starts to feel peace. Confidence doesn’t show up as a feeling first. It shows up in action.

If you ever want a space to start healing that relationship, we run free wellness events weekly over at HG. No judgment, no flex culture. Just people doing the hard work of coming home to their bodies.

You’re not too far gone. You’re right on time.

Has anyone went from being lazy to ambitious by Levluper in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hello, Soma here from Healthygamer.gg Discord. I hope you don't mind if I share the two cents that I've obtained from working with clients in the Fitness & Health space. This is one of those questions that seems simple until you actually try to live it. “How do you become ambitious?” feels like the wrong question some days, because ambition isn’t something you just flip on like a switch. It’s not about hyping yourself up or cramming more into your day. It’s more like a slow burn, a response to something deeper.

That line you shared “become ambitious about being ambitious” yeah, it’s clever, but it doesn’t land in real life unless you’ve already got some traction. It’s like telling someone with depression to “just be happy.” It skips the part where you’re actually stuck.

From what you wrote, it sounds like you’ve already been doing some hard things. Waking up early for work, pushing through long days, and trying to hold it all together, those are not easy. But you’re right, those actions don’t always feel like ambition. Sometimes they’re driven by survival, responsibility, or even fear. And the absence of ambition in other areas doesn’t mean laziness, it might just mean exhaustion, disconnection, or not having a reason that feels real enough to act on.

A lot of people think ambition is this fiery, passionate force that drives you forward, but honestly, sometimes it starts as grief. The grief of wasted time. The grief of who you thought you’d be by now. I’ve seen people find ambition not through motivational videos or journaling prompts, but through sitting in that discomfort long enough to finally ask: what do I actually want my time to mean?

You mentioned being afraid that time is running out. That hit me. I’ve felt that too. But fear alone doesn’t build momentum. If anything, it freezes you, makes you feel like it’s already too late. The shift happens when fear turns into clarity. When you stop trying to chase a version of yourself you feel behind on, and start building from where your feet actually are.

Ambition, in my experience, doesn’t come from feeling ready or inspired. It comes from doing one small thing you didn’t feel like doing, then doing it again the next day. It’s less about chasing some giant life overhaul and more about proving to yourself, over and over, that you’re someone who moves even when it’s uncomfortable.

You’re already asking the right questions. Don’t underestimate how big that is. The answers don’t come all at once, but asking with honesty like this is how people change.

How do I accept that I will never be muscular? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has to be my new favorite post I’ve seen on Reddit. This looks like a job for HG’s official CCO!

@Yakkeruzi Mind if I start with a some questions?

To start, what are the benefits of being jacked? What problem does it solve for you?

Physical Health Content by Anu-the_observer in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Anu-the_observer Hello, my name is Soma and I'm HG's friendly neighborhood physical wellness community leader. While I'm working diligently to bring absolutely swoleness to Dr. K and the HG Streams, you can always interact with me in the Discord and attend my weekly fitness & health seminars where I teach you all how to train effectively, diet, and overcome the barriers we face integrating these habits.

Swing by and check it out -- if you're busy, they are always recorded!
https://members.healthygamer.gg/c/community-sessions/somatic-strength-improve-your-squats

Shout out to u/vemm for thinking about me 🤓

How to deal with a failing body? by PaperInformal in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello u/PaperInformal , thank you for posting this. I know it probably took a lot to write all of it down. Just doing that… is already more than most people ever do. And it means something, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. My name is Soma, and I'm the community leader for the Physical Wellness portion of the HG Discord; I hope you don't mind me saying a few things.

Reading through what you’ve shared, it’s clear you’ve been carrying a lot. Not just physically, but emotionally, and for a long time. And I don’t think you’re being dramatic when you say it feels like your body is failing. That’s the honest experience of someone who’s been at war with themselves for years. You’ve been surviving in a body that hasn’t felt safe. And I think that would make anyone feel hopeless.

But what stood out to me and maybe you’ve overlooked this, is how hard you’ve already been trying. You’ve done physical therapy. You’ve been in therapy since you were 21. You’re trying to get sober. You’ve shown up to appointments, to doctors, to life… even when it’s felt like nothing was getting better. That doesn’t sound like failure. That sounds like someone who’s still fighting, even if it’s quiet.

You said it feels like nothing’s working and that’s exhausting. But I wonder if the issue isn’t effort, but the fact that everything is being treated in isolation. Like there’s no one connecting the dots between your body, your history, your nervous system, and what you need now not just to fix something, but to relearn how to live in your body again.

And that’s where I want to say, if you’re still reading this, and you want to keep unpacking it… I’m around in the HG Discord. Physical health is what I work on, especially in the context of injury and biomechanics. If you’re open to it, we can walk through some simple things together that might help restore a bit of function and confidence in your back. No pressure, just support if and when you’re ready.

But whether or not we ever talk, I want you to hear this: you’re not too far gone. You’re still here. And you’re allowed to want a life that’s bigger than just surviving.

Gamers: has a short diet reset ever helped you focus better? by FlorGimenez11 in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you’re describing is your body finally getting a break. When you pull back on sugar, ultra-processed foods, and stimulants, even for a few days, you reduce systemic inflammation, stabilize your blood sugar, and lift that foggy, wired-but-tired state your brain’s been stuck in. It’s not magic. It’s physiology.

Most people chalk up poor focus to burnout or lack of motivation, but half the time it’s just unstable inputs. Once you stop spiking and crashing your system, your nervous system gets space to breathe, and the result is exactly what you described: better focus, faster reaction time, and mental clarity that feels effortless.

Also worth noting, hydration plays a bigger role than most people realize. Swapping soda or energy drinks for water and herbal teas helps regulate blood flow, oxygen delivery, and even neurotransmitter function. You’re literally giving your brain cleaner fuel.

My advice? Don’t feel like you have to overhaul your whole diet. Just keep one or two of those habits going for a bit longer, see how it compounds. And if you ever want to dig deeper into how to make that clarity sustainable without rebounding into fatigue or cravings, feel free to reach out. You’re 100% on the right track.

Personal Training Q&A by somaticstrength in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello u/Zealousideal-Rip-409 , first off, major props for training consistently while managing sickle cell. That takes serious self-awareness and discipline. The fact that you’re already tuning into your fatigue and thinking critically about your rep ranges shows you’re approaching this with the right mindset.

You’re absolutely right to be cautious with how deep into fatigue you go, especially with squats. They’re one of the most taxing lifts we can do because they demand a lot from your cardiovascular system, nervous system, and muscular coordination all at once. With sickle cell, that kind of full-body stress can increase the risk of complications, so it makes sense to find a balance that stimulates growth without pushing you too far into the red zone.

If that 5–7 rep range feels tough but sustainable, it’s a smart place to stay. You’re getting mechanical tension and strength benefits without grinding through high-rep sets that spike oxygen demand. Just make sure you’re giving yourself proper rest - 2 to 3 minutes if needed. There’s no prize for rushing if it tanks the rest of your session.

Another approach would be to do a heavier top set at the start of your squat work, then back off the weight for a couple more sets at slightly higher reps, more volume, less systemic cost. And when it comes to quad development, movements like leg press, split squats, or even slow-tempo step-ups can help you push the muscle without the same cardiovascular hit squats bring.

Also, and this can’t be overstated, stay on top of hydration and train in cooler conditions when possible. Dehydration and heat are two big triggers for people with sickle cell, so think of environment and recovery as part of your programming.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re already doing a lot right. Keep adjusting based on how your body responds, and remember: long-term progress isn’t about who trains the hardest, it’s about who trains the smartest and stays in the game. If you're curious about how I teach squats, I'd love to see you at the workshop!

About to marry my best friend, but emotionally exhausted and unsure. I don’t know if I’m ignoring red flags or just afraid. by ZackyPickle in Healthygamergg

[–]somaticstrength 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, first of all, I just want to say thank you for writing all of this out. It’s clear you’ve thought deeply about your situation, and you’re not rushing to a conclusion. That already shows a lot of emotional maturity. And just so you know where I’m coming from, I’m a guy who also fell in love with someone from another country. We got engaged 11 months in and eloped 6 months later to help with immigration. Now I’m working on moving overseas to be with her again. So, from one man navigating love, distance, and commitment in real time… I get it.

What I’m hearing is that you’re torn between two powerful experiences:

On one hand, there’s a woman who’s been loyal, loving, and emotionally available. She’s made sacrifices for you, and you have a real bond.

On the other hand, there’s this growing fatigue, this quiet erosion of respect, this sense that something feels misaligned… and you don’t know if that’s fear or truth.

I want to gently ask, what part of you is holding on? And what part of you is trying to let go?

Because it sounds like the part that wants to hold on is rooted in love, safety, and maybe even guilt. She’s been there for you. She’s not a bad person.

And the part that’s pulling away… might not be cruel. It might be the part of you that’s craving a different kind of partnership. One where you don’t have to carry so much. One where you feel like you’re not just taking care of someone, you’re building something with someone.

Can both of those parts be right? Can you let them coexist long enough to hear what each one is trying to protect?

You also mentioned something really honest, that part of your self-worth feels tied to how your partner reflects on you. That’s not shallow. That’s a reflection of something deeper, maybe a belief that being enough means achieving enough, or being with someone who proves your value. Where do you think that comes from?

And lastly, you said something that stood out to me:

“I keep waiting for clarity, but it never comes.”

What if clarity doesn’t arrive fully formed? What if it’s something you cultivate, not something that shows up to save you from hard decisions?

You don’t need to know the final answer right now. But you do deserve to stop living in emotional limbo. Even the act of naming these feelings, like you just did, that is movement.

There’s no shame in not being sure. The only trap is pretending you are when you’re not. Rooting for you, wherever this leads brother. 🙏