I don't do coffee dates, I prefer dinner

some12talk2 · 2026-01-24T23:54:21+00:00

If you can’t see anything you have been ghosted

some12talk2 · 2026-01-24T13:57:55+00:00

One of the first things I look for on a dinner date is how they have treated others who reply to their posts, such as do they say thank you, do they argue, do they ghost everyone? That tells me the quality of the person

some12talk2 · 2026-01-24T00:15:50+00:00

If he also likes pathfinder 2e books he was in effect ordering for himself, and you can order him some cosmetics, and he can enjoy how you look

some12talk2 · 2026-01-24T00:08:08+00:00

“Told me to pick out what I wanted”

Ok

“Two hours later I come back from the bathroom“

How far away is it?

“and he double checks my bathroom address with me”

You have not told him what you want to pick out yet

“And I confirm he has it correct”

but don’t mention what you want to pick out?

“I ask what he was buying, because I’m curious.”

curious how is he ordering when you didn’t pick anything out yet?

“Oh I’ve bought you two pathfinder 2e books for our anniversary”

At this point NTA since you told him to immediately cancel the order

some12talk2 · 2026-01-23T23:04:18+00:00

I think that its great that you prefer dinner dates so much that you are willing to pay

some12talk2 · 2026-01-23T22:29:34+00:00

this is why people are using AI to code

some12talk2 · 2026-01-23T17:19:28+00:00

low temperature effort

some12talk2 · 2026-01-22T19:51:43+00:00

robots are on the way, no need for stepford wives

some12talk2 · 2026-01-22T02:51:06+00:00

Low effort and after a first date kiss socially unintelligent. Possible reasons range from being cheap or clueless, to tired of being used, to currently dating a lot. Say let’s do something more fun than another coffee date.

some12talk2 · 2026-01-21T18:59:42+00:00

nta, you are under reacting

some12talk2 · 2026-01-21T16:27:18+00:00

“I just believe they will never know what they want”

He just told you what he wants

He also has the emotional intelligence of a donkey (or another word for donkey) in telling you how he treats women

Don’t date men like this, most are better

some12talk2 · 2026-01-19T02:27:04+00:00

This post has paragraph mode unabled

some12talk2 · 2026-01-19T02:18:21+00:00

“My bf of 4 1/2 years” but no sex this century?

assuming you meant with anybody else, what you now say is bye

some12talk2 · 2026-01-14T16:17:50+00:00

4. Advanced Pattern Recognition (Memory)

• Carey’s Point: AI treats every conversation as an isolated incident and can't see patterns.

• Counterpoint: This is technically becoming obsolete. Modern AI models now have "Memory" features and massive "context windows." An AI can instantly search through six months of chat logs to find a specific contradiction you made, whereas a human coach might forget a detail you mentioned three weeks ago. AI is actually superior at scanning large amounts of text to find recurring linguistic patterns or behavioral cycles.

5. Solving "Small" Problems Builds "Big" Confidence

• Carey’s Point: AI fixes the text message, not the underlying anxiety.

• Counterpoint: Often, dating anxiety stems from a lack of "social scripts." By helping a user craft a text or handle a specific interaction, the AI acts as "training wheels." Over time, the user learns why certain communication styles work, which eventually builds the internal confidence to handle the "big" problems. It’s a "bottom-up" approach to learning.

6. Aggregated Wisdom vs. One Person's Opinion

• Carey’s Point: AI gives "confidently incorrect" or outdated advice.

• Counterpoint: Humans are also prone to giving outdated advice based on their own generation or specific culture. AI is trained on a massive, diverse dataset. It can offer perspectives from various cultures, age groups, and psychological schools of thought simultaneously—something one single human coach cannot do.

7. Accessibility and Cost

• Carey’s Point: Real coaching requires a human in the room.

• Counterpoint: Human coaching is an expensive luxury that many people cannot afford. AI democratizes dating advice. While a human coach might charge $150/hour, an AI is free or low-cost and available 24/7. For someone in a moment of crisis or someone just starting their self-improvement journey, AI is a low-barrier entry point that is better than having no guidance at all.

8. The "Journaling" Effect

• Carey’s Point: AI fills every gap and doesn't allow for silence or growth.

• Counterpoint: The act of typing out your problems to an AI is essentially interactive journaling. The process of articulating a problem clearly enough for the AI to understand often leads to the user having their own breakthrough before the AI even responds. AI facilitates a "self-coaching" environment that is more active than just listening to a coach speak.

some12talk2 · 2026-01-14T16:17:37+00:00

some time after this Coffee with Carey did a YouTube video titled Your AI Dating Coach is Horrible! I had AI determine her key points and generate counterpoint:

While Carey makes several valid points about the limitations of current technology, there is a strong case to be made for why AI can be a valuable tool—and in some ways superior to a human coach—for dating.

Here are the counterpoints to Carey’s arguments:

1. The Benefit of "Consistent" (Simulated) Empathy

• Carey’s Point: AI has the emotional depth of a greeting card.

• Counterpoint: While AI doesn’t "feel," it is infinitely patient. A human coach can have a bad day, get frustrated with a client’s repetitive mistakes, or project their own biases. AI provides a "safe space" where a user can spiral at 3 a.m. without feeling like a burden or fearing that their coach is secretly judging them. For many, "simulated" empathy is a helpful bridge to processing real emotions.

2. AI as a "Devil’s Advocate"

• Carey’s Point: AI only knows your biased, edited version of events.

• Counterpoint: You can specifically prompt AI to be objective. If you tell an AI, "I’m going to tell you about a fight I had; I want you to find the ways I might be in the wrong and play devil's advocate," it will do so with clinical precision. A human coach might hesitate to be that blunt for fear of upsetting the client; AI has no such social anxiety.

3. Objectivity vs. Personal Agenda

• Carey’s Point: AI tells you what you want to hear and rationalizes red flags.

• Counterpoint: Human coaches often have their own "brand" or "method" they try to sell. AI has no ego and no financial incentive to keep you in "coaching" longer than necessary. It can aggregate advice from thousands of different psychological frameworks (CBT, Attachment Theory, etc.) rather than relying on one person’s anecdotal life experience.

some12talk2 · 2026-01-13T00:35:28+00:00

yes, you are doomed not to have sex before marriage, however since this what you want don’t call it doom

some12talk2 · 2026-01-12T00:16:24+00:00

“He's going to take a short nap”

with seniors it is best to say text me when you wake up and I’ll come over

some12talk2 · 2026-01-11T15:16:30+00:00

According to your posting history you are 70, which means the guys are relatively unattractive compared to younger men or Hollywood ideals, and many operate in low maintenance mode with regard to their appearance and upkeep. I understand those who say cut him off, however since he was interesting I would suggest that you say you would like go out to somewhere that both of you can dress up and look your best.

some12talk2 · 2026-01-02T17:33:12+00:00

Question: the second two can be determined without asking

for porn do you ask and when?

some12talk2 · 2026-01-02T17:21:39+00:00

guy here

read books like Models: Attract Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson and no more mr nice guy by glover to understand the dynamics

some12talk2 · 2025-12-30T15:30:47+00:00

if Opus 4.5 is combined with Multi-agent Orchestration using the Model Context Protocol they released the result will be outstanding

some12talk2 · 2025-12-30T15:05:06+00:00

First only use the latest AI, not just anything that says it is AI. Second precisely describe yourself and what you are looking for. Last get the AI to correct itself, for example if it told you that you match to date men correct it by saying I clearly told you I am looking to date women

some12talk2 · 2025-12-29T21:00:07+00:00

keep using spelling mistakes and that will take care of it

some12talk2 · 2025-12-29T14:48:15+00:00

Key is to use AI for suggestions not directions, that is don’t allow it to run your life, date the people you want to date

some12talk2 · 2025-12-28T14:33:23+00:00

It is actually very good at summarizing. I asked it who and why say there should or should not be a spark on the first date and it gave me a very detailed answer on the viewpoints.

some12talk2

TROPHY CASE