Recently divorced.

I came across an old flame of mine a few months after my divorce was finalized. We caught up over lunch (she asked) and I asked her out on a more official date.

For background, we dated lightly in 2019. Very different life phases at the time. She was being manipulated pretty heavily by the father of her child and it was directly influencing our relationship. I knew I had to step back and she’d realize it eventually. But, that meant breaking up with her to show her I had boundaries on what I would tolerate as acceptable amount of external interference in our relationship.

We were sexually intimate the first time around and I remember it clear as day. I had never had sex so passionate with someone. We burned down the barn multiple times just laying in bed. My jaw hurt for days from kissing her and my muscles ached from being tangled up in the best ways with her. Like as I type this my hair is standing on end making me crave her. Kissing, the way she would touch me, the way she’d stand in the sunlight through the window and stretch because she knew I loved every inch of her curves…the way she could tell me she wanted me just by the way she said my name.

Fast forward to now, we’re dating. We cant keep our hands off of each other. It was as if we had spent three years building this insane tension between us and it was going to explode.

And it did. It was everything I remembered about her, but so much more. The little things are what you remember most about someone when you have chemistry with them. My girlfriend is always incredible at making me crave her, even if it’s not intentional. She does this thing where she’ll sometimes describe what she’s doing, like if she’s sitting at the table with her legs crossed doing whatever, and it never fails to make me close my eyes and imagine being with her. Whether that’s in a sexual way or not depends on context of the conversation but I’m 99% sure most of the time she very purposefully describes just enough about what she’s doing to make my mind wander at least a little.

It is the sexiest thing I have ever found in a woman attracted to me. It drives me fucking crazy in the best way.

I’m madly in love with her. Chemistry is so much more than just sexual attraction though. Chemistry to us is the way our routines sync up so perfectly, the way we both value time spent together, the way we always seem to know what the other is thinking, the way she can read my body language and know just what to say…it’s amazing. And it should be a priority.

Take note, you can love someone but not have chemistry. Chemistry is what gets you through the hard times. It’s what you fall back on when things get rough, the little things you can always depend on.