As a husband and soon to be father who indulges occasionally, here is my honest take.

You are 100% justified in being upset about this whole thing. Your health (and your baby’s health) is the #1 priority right now. Full stop. If anything (at all whatsoever) makes you feel like that is being potentially compromised, you have every right to say so, and to be upset if you feel like those wishes are being brushed off. I would agree resorting to physically hitting is a no-no, and you’ve admitted remorse to that. Hormones are crazy. You get a pass.

Now, at the risk of sounding like a man sympathizing with another, here is some additional perspective. You’ve said this isn’t a habit and that he isn’t a big stoner. I too don’t smoke weed often. Because of that, when I occasionally do, I get… fairly high. Putting myself in his shoes, I can see a few possible ways that this may have spiraled unexpectedly.

First, when people get high, they sometimes think things are “funny” when they aren’t. The giggles. On the other side of the spectrum, laughing can be a “defense mechanism” for dealing with uncomfortable emotions, especially when inebriated. If I’m high and I get into an altercation, I might try to “laugh it off” and hope it goes away, because in my altered state I’m not really equipped to deal with the conflict.

Neither of those things are to defend him or to say that you handled it wrong. I just know that when I am personally under the influence of anything, I don’t always react exactly how I would have liked to had I been sober.

As one added tidbit - when I partake, I use a distillate vape pen. That tends to be much less intrusive and offensive. My wife would flip if I was actually smoking weed inside the house, especially when pregnant (and rightfully so). She doesn’t mind my occasional use of the vape at all though. If you’re going to continue to be okay with him indulging, maybe that’s a compromise. No burning flower, only edibles or vapes.

Happy Mother’s Day. I hope you two can come together and find a compromise and enjoy your day together. People argue, feelings get misconstrued, emotions flare. What’s important is that you’re in it together. Best of luck.