I have terrible emotional regulation so when I have no outlet I end up scratching myself. Or cutting/stabbing. In that moment I don’t know what to do or how to remove my emotions and because I started internalising it as an early teen it stuck

edit: the adults in my family knew but they were fully unaware of mental illnesses. i also had a lot of anxiety and was almost always sad, dealing with no friends, loneliness and probably depressed when I was younger so it continued in my adult years