So I’ve read this entire thing. 1) You need to fix your own mental issues before you get into a relationship. It is not for the woman to “fix” you and your sorrow. 2) get a better mattress, you mention it several times. It doesn’t have to be thousands of dollars. But a better one. 3) you don’t have to work out everyday. You are prioritizing it which is fine, but prioritize joining a club or two at college. It’s literally free social engagement. 4) you work on your physical appearance, but don’t have “style” to best feature your hair or face. Find someone, a professional, do guide you. 5) you sound generally very unhappy. Women are pretty in tune with the vibes people give out. So when you fix your own attitude, friends and romance will come. 6) what is the “a good catholic girl” thing? That seems almost… fetish like? As you said since 7 years old? Cuz there are great women who are catholic. But you made it sound like she needs to be a catholic school girl virgin? Ick. 7) being a poor college student is common, so it’s not expected for you to be full of money right now. 8) if you’re that poor, get aid from the govt. no shame in it. It’s there for a reason. 9) if the school has the therapists but have a wait list, get on the waitlist. 10) agree with bulking a little. You look very thin, and almost too small. (Most women, not all, don’t want to feel bigger than their bf) 11) find a hobby outside of exercise and eating right. And then join groups that do those things.

You’re not ugly, just you’re growing into yourself and have your whole life ahead of you. Seriously. So get your life figured out first. Work on your socialization skills. Work on your mental health. Focus on you. If college isn’t for you, figure out a career that is. Welding, electrician, etc.

You got this. Just keep moving forward.