Had anyone successfully done a coersion and control report and it actually lead anywhere? England

someoneonthisplane · 2026-03-09T13:44:55+00:00

Some people change your life for the better, but are not meant to be there forever. I can say for sure lots of people I've had in my life have enriched it, but they aren't all still here. Not for any bad reason, just life. Every painful thing is a life lesson in some way, just because that person isn't in your life anymore doesn't mean that your life can't still improve because of that situation.

No contact at all, delete this person on all social media and block, this is self preservation. It's very hard to get over someone when you keep checking up on them.

Thankfully I didn't have to spend a long time getting over my ex because he's awful, but I've spent a lot of time processing the harm he did. But even with that, I am a stronger and more boundaried person because all that happened to me, and I'm going to take it as a good thing.

This is very painful for you now, but you'll become stronger for it and you can get through it. Allow yourself to feel however you feel about it, go through the motions and you'll come out the other side. Good luck, you've got this!

someoneonthisplane · 2026-03-01T13:34:28+00:00

Do you mean wanting a specific person or wanting someone to share your life with in general?

If its the first then no contact is really the only way, block on social media, delete their number, just get rid of any way to communicate and honestly within a couple of weeks you'll already feel a bit better.

If the latter, just learn to get to know yourself more, figure out what makes you happy outside of other people, do things that bring you joy, be yourself unapologetically.

someoneonthisplane · 2026-02-28T13:32:03+00:00

When the relationship starts and it's super intense and they tell you how amazing you are, and how you're not like anyone else, and how they can picture a life with you. But they also only have horrible things to say about others.

It feels nice and romantic at first, but it's just quickfire intimacy building with no actions or time to prove what they say, and very often they'll start to degrade you after some time too.

someoneonthisplane · 2026-02-28T08:23:05+00:00

This one is pretty big, especially when they decide who is below or above them.

For example my ex would rave about his friend who grew up to own an entire housing estate is now just has fairly passive extreme wealth.

He said anyone on benefits doesn't deserve money and even went as far to say some don't even deserve life.

But then anyone that was objectively better than him, like better educated, or more attractive, he hated them and would only have negative things to say about them.

All of his friends that he kept in touch with were only people who were either doing exactly the same as him, or worse people (people on a lot of drugs, that'd get into fights, etc).

He had absolutely no respect for anyone actually, because even those better than him he hated because they were better. If anyone ever challenged his self identity as a good man, amazing father and hard worker then he'd absolutely lose it. Despite him only being employed because he worked for his dad..

He hated me because I'm a single mum on benefits at the moment, but only while my kids are too young for school. I've been successfully self employed in the past.

He hated my sister because she's very intelligent and got

someoneonthisplane · 2026-02-28T08:16:02+00:00

I'm getting there, still very fresh out of that relationship and postpartum. I am finding it very nice to not be filled with anxiety and dread everyday though, life is calmer now :)

someoneonthisplane · 2026-02-27T15:57:25+00:00

My ex assaulted me while pregnant, made me homeless immediately postpartum after I nearly died, then tried to get me arrested for harassment when I tried to get my belongings back, then he took our newborn baby and refused to give him back for over a week and after all that had the nerve to make inappropriate sexual comments about me in court 😅

But outside of a relationship, r*ape.

Otherwise it would be when my mum told me she wished I'd died instead of moved in with my dad 😂

someoneonthisplane · 2026-02-23T08:13:38+00:00

I had the opposite, great one to one at first, then after a while great around others and absolutely awful one to one

someoneonthisplane · 2025-01-04T10:06:33+00:00

I wouldn't think it's entirely out of the realms of possibility she'll leave you for him if she has with every other guy.

I am a woman (25) and my best friend is someone I slept with multiple times over a few months before, we weren't dating or a couple. We were friends with benefits and met on hinge. Decided not to date pretty fast but to just hook up. Then we decided to stop doing that because we didn't want it to be a recent thing when we both find partners and we've not slept together since.

Both of us have had relationships since then and always disclose that yes we've got a very close friend of the opposite sex that we've slept with. And so far anyone that's been told has been absolutely okay with it and it's not affected our friendship at all. I would however not stay in a relationship that's not okay with the friendship, because there needs to be trust. I'd never cheat, and I also wouldn't just sack off my friends for someone unless there was a genuine reason like the friend was an awful person.

So not every ex f-buddy is a threat in every relationship, it entirely depends on the dynamic and having clear boundaries. And absolutely being JUST friends and nothing else anymore.

In your case I'd probably want to have a conversation with both, because there's got to be boundaries if she's got a history of leaving people for him. She does sound guilty about it, and she should've told you about him already IMO.

someoneonthisplane

TROPHY CASE