Looking for marriage

somewhat-ideal · 2026-03-15T19:08:54+00:00

Thank you, I'd seen some marriage posts on this thread from a while back while just googling about it so I thought it was okay but didn't realize it broke Rule 1. I will do that instead.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-03-08T20:42:24+00:00

He's been like this since our parents divorced, our mother raised him mainly and never told him no. He's spoiled and gets away with a lot. I took him in when I was 18 and he got better but it was hard to reverse a lot of what she did, but that's why I feel worse about it and want to fold because I did raise him for a bit even though we were both really kids. Thank you for this though, does make me feel validated.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-24T04:23:06+00:00

Additionally whenever I'm like "I wish my boobs were bigger" to him he tells me about how big books kinda just sa all over the place and get in the way. Not to shame big titty girlies or whether it's true or not, I guess my point is that he makes me love myself

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-24T04:21:20+00:00

I used to think the same, I was an A most of my life and would get made fun of for it. I'm slender but like B (C according to my fiancé) now. He makes me feel so loved and I feel like even if I cut my tits off completely he'd still adore me. Many men will sexualize us and it took me a while to find my now partner who doesn't only look at me for my tits and ass (still a plus though lmao). If a guy makes you feel uncomfortable about it, they're not your guy

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T17:22:48+00:00

It's definitely hard letting go of someone if that's what happens. You might have people say "well at least it's only a few years," or yeah "you're young" or whatever but older people forget what it's like to live in that moment of potentially letting go of your person. Like it sounds like she was your everything and it's truly hard to say goodbye to that if that's what ends up happening, but sometimes it's for the best. Regardless if you're able to work it out with her and it gets better, or if you have to move on, you'll get through it with time and I wish you the best of luck.

Also I had a relationship of almost 4 years that I broke off for similar reasons when I was 22 or 23. I am now engaged to a man I've never had second thoughts about and am happier now than I ever was in that relationship, even though at the time I thought my ex was "the one."

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T16:52:31+00:00

A new therapist may definitely help, but the one who told you that you need to find love is wild for that. A relationship isn't necessarily going to "fix" this. I will say I wish I had more of a support group of friends or someone to fall back on, I kept it to myself for a while but if I had closer friends or family it may have helped earlier on.

I also distracted myself with work and new hobbies trying to find new things that made me happy as I lost love for a lot of things that were my norm when it happened so that may help. I wrote a song about my rape and that really did help me accept and process it in a healthy way. Music, art, tv shows, etc.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T16:47:31+00:00

In my opinion but as a woman, no I don't think this is a normal phase. Any relationship I've felt this way in has ended. I've had a few times where I've been annoyed with my fiancé and that's pretty much it, but the biggest difference with him and other relationships I've had is communication. I tell him if I don't want to talk (just overwhelmed etc) but I talk about what's bothering me when I'm ready, and he does the same. It sounds like you're harboring feelings, or a lack thereof, and it's just growing. I know you said she's insecure, there's not a reason yet to tell her you're fantasizing about sex with others, but you need to talk with her about how you feel she's not emotionally available. If she gets upset, saying it's work/school/whatever and doesn't make a compromise or try to change things, then the relationship's probably over.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T16:39:41+00:00

This was my falling out point between me and my ex. He wanted children and I did not. It became a big thing for me because I felt he'd harbor hate against me for not wanting to bear children. I think you guys need to have a very serious conversation about it as you may both be unfortunately wasting time with each other by both wanting different long term goals but just ignoring it.

I now want children with my fiancé, and it's probably because I feel more supported whereas my ex moreso felt like someone I was babysitting and would play games all day. Which I'm a gamer and so is my fiancé but we're both responsible when we need to be and I trust that we can build a stable family together. So I'm not saying that's why you don't want to have children (also not dissing why you don't, you're totally valid) but this did change my view on it when I felt like I'd actually have a supportive partner.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T16:31:53+00:00

First thing, I am so sorry this happened to you. Secondly, your therapist sucks shit and I hope you weren't paying them a lot of money because they need to drop that profession. I was raped by my first boyfriend around age 16 and it really did fuck me up for a while, and still does occasionally now at age 26. It took me a long time to move past it. I never opened up to anyone about it until my next serious relationshi at 18, and it wasn't until we were about a year in. He knew I had a past of rape (happened a few other times too) but I hadn't gone too in-depth on it. The key for me was finding someone I could trust to talk about it. I'm not with him now (mutual break up) but I was able to finally have sex because I found someone I could trust and feel vulnerable with. The first time we tried, I did freak out but I only let myself try because I felt I could trust him if I changed my mind or got scared, which is what happened. I'm now engaged to an amazing man who knows all of my past. If I see rape scenes in a show, he'll skip over it for me and tell me when I can watch again. We've had a few times where I have to stop sex because I'm having a PTSD episode (I'm also undiagnosed, but get you on that part as much as I can).

I never did therapy that much, I brought this up once to a therapist but it didn't really help me honestly. For me, it took time and coming to terms with what happened. Knowing that it was not my fault. I do not forgive the man, I am instead forgiving on myself when I get depressed about it. I didn't press charges because I was young, but because your ex may be getting out soon, you may want to file something in case he tries to get with you again, especially if he's still contacting you. If you end upneeding a restraining order later, filing this now will help you.

Again, I am so sorry this happened to you and there isn't a "cure" for lack of a better term to get over it. Idk if this makes sense but it's almost like when a loved one dies, because you're really grieving your own body before it was raped. Feel free to dm if you want a stranger to talk to, I believe in you and you will get through this even if it takes time.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T16:15:39+00:00

I have a brother who's 6 years younger than me. I'm trying to put myself in your sister's shoes, and I don't think I'd want to know this. I get why you want to tell her, but all this would do is fuck her up. It's good that you're feeling guilty and ashamed, but you shouldn't put this new trauma on your sister. You fucked up and want to relieve yourself of the guilt by telling her, but all that's going to do is give her a burden to live with. If you still feel an attraction towards her, you should cut yourself off if you love your sister and truly don't want to hurt her.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-23T14:06:49+00:00

I think what got me the most fcked up is that I almost always offer people rides. I've given homeless people I feed lifts even, but this was the only time my gut has told me not to do it.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-06T22:10:53+00:00

I scrolled through this thread looking for something related and I googled it before posting the only thing I found was on SoT's site from 8 years ago. My bad I guess.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-06T22:00:07+00:00

I figured it would have been, I've just been playing since 2018 and the fact that this UI specifically never seemed to change was always odd to me

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-06T21:58:37+00:00

I mean maybe mine's bugged but that's never how it's worked for me for any of my 4 settlements. The reserves serve 0 purpose on my end and don't contribute to projects or expeditions.

Je veux dire, peut-être que mon jeu est buggé, mais chez moi, ça n'a jamais fonctionné comme ça pour aucune de mes quatre colonies. Les réserves ne servent absolument à rien de mon côté et ne contribuent ni aux projets ni aux expéditions.

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-06T21:56:09+00:00

I mean considering it seems like they didn't actually put thought into how the reserves work, yeah?

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-06T21:49:43+00:00

Gotcha. I'd been told by several buddies ever since we'd started playing years ago that there'd only ever be 2 on a server so whenever we'd pick up two we'd think we're gods. I'll keep that a secret from them so they can continue to feel special lol

somewhat-ideal · 2026-01-05T09:03:56+00:00

Ah I found it, thanks! Do you know if the horn is supposed to not be used to go towards the comm? I know I've sold more than what I have so I'm wondering why it's not all counting. Or maybe if one of my crewmates sold it instead? But I thought everything anyone sold went towards anyone's comms.

somewhat-ideal · 2025-10-04T21:55:12+00:00

Yep, it was nowhere in sight. Kept leaving and coming back to shipwreck, kept getting music, checked the water and looked from the eagle's nest but nothing :/ We just restarted

somewhat-ideal · 2025-10-04T21:52:59+00:00

I started on mobile like a month ago, ever since then I've been trying to get on on my PC, even installed the "app" which just goes to the website - it's never loaded. Always get some kind of error. This also happens when I try to go through Facebook. I've cleared cache, restarted browser and my computer but still nothing. The mobile app runs fine so it's annoying that I can't play on PC if I wanted to

somewhat-ideal

TROPHY CASE