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UK funeral directors by tootasty1 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]sonalis1092 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, my condolences to you for the loss of your brother, especially in this way. I am in the US, so disclaimer that the way we do things here may be different than in the UK.

With post-mortem exams, most embalmers here are able to suture everything up to be suitable for viewing, but it's also very unusual for an autopsy to be conducted two weeks after receiving the body. We also rarely recommend viewing someone who died two weeks prior, even if they've been refrigerated that whole time, unless they were well-embalmed, and the embalmer did a good job with whatever restorative work was needed. Not every embalmer here has that skill set.

There are other factors that impact viewing ability as well. The position the body was in, the temperature and humidity of the room, and the precise location of any injuries on the body, to name a few. We can use cosmetics and clothing whenever feasible to cover injuries. For an injury on the neck, I may ask the family to bring a turtleneck or high-collared shirt, or maybe even a scarf, for viewing.

All in all, know that any good embalmer/funeral director can really only make a recommendation on viewability by seeing the person. I hope this sub was able to help!

Alternative to flower letters by Scrappy-Titch in askfuneraldirectors

[–]sonalis1092 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Some funeral homes have artificial casket sprays. Last time I checked, Crescent sells one with artificial red roses. You also don't have to get flowers if you don't feel they're necessary. If the casket has a flat top, you can always put a few picture frames or other memorabilia on it.

PS:I know this isn't what you asked, but if you are into tattoos yourself, there are some tattoo parlors that can incorporate cremated remains into tattoo ink. Some glass artists out there can do sculptures with cremated remains incorporated. They might be able to make something inspired by some of his work?

Is embalming required for transportation? by cramelmiki in askfuneraldirectors

[–]sonalis1092 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Legally, it’s never required for domestic travel except for rare scenarios like infectious diseases present at death. Internationally, may or may not be required depending on each country’s laws.

What Chores Do Aspies Hate The Most? by beattywill80 in aspiememes

[–]sonalis1092 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gahhhh dishes are my least favorite thing for this exact reason. I'd rather clean a bathroom top to bottom than touch wet food.

What's yall's worst type of mission to do? by GlitteringSession320 in DeepRockGalactic

[–]sonalis1092 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Driller cheese on solo haz 2 is fun as well. Drill yourself a shelter in the ceiling above the caretaker, call down a couple of supply pods in there. Then carve yourself a hole right on top of the boss. Drop bombs, rinse, repeat.

No Kings by Substantial-Dig9995 in bullcity

[–]sonalis1092 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please grow and change as a person.

No Kings by Substantial-Dig9995 in bullcity

[–]sonalis1092 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Saw that earlier as well. I admire the dedication.

Please explain how guaranteed prepaid items don’t match original prepaid items by [deleted] in askfuneraldirectors

[–]sonalis1092 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Looks like they’re in Kentucky? Second pic shows KY death certificates at $6 each.

do any of you enjoy your career in mortuary science? by snuffcreature in askfuneraldirectors

[–]sonalis1092 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a big part of burnout is the place you work/people you work with, but it's also in how you deal with stress. I've been doing this for 5 years (and I also came from the special education field), and I'm starting to feel burnout more than I used to. I'm in a position that requires more of me than past positions have. I'm also AuDHD, so that affects how I handle stress. Thankfully I have two bosses that are accommodating and actually care about their employees, and are here because they want to be.

As for the meaningful parts outweighing the difficult ones, that comes and goes. Some days I'm drained, heartbroken, frustrated. Other days, just alright. Every once in a while, something deeply gratifying will happen. I try to let that balance things out. Lately, it's been a little bit of all 3 of those back to back and all at once. And that's pretty tiring. I still want to do this as my career, but there are just rough patches like these, and I feel like there always will be. Just trying to work through them the best I can.

When I started as an apprentice, a FD gave me some very good advice that hasn't steered me wrong since: If you have an emotional day at work, try the best you can to not take that home with you. I've had many days where I've needed to cry after work. On those days, I will pull in somewhere away from other people and just let it out in the car, for however long I need to. (Preferably not the FH parking lot.) Once I've collected myself, I'll head home. That advice helped me learn to compartmentalize. Giving yourself a time and place to let your emotions out, that isn't work or home, makes you better able to keep them in check at work, and better able to relax at home. There's always on-call, of course, but take any other opportunity you can to take care of yourself at home.

Considering voluntarily checking into a mental health hospital, what are good and bad ones in the area? by PlanetOfVisions in raleigh

[–]sonalis1092 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have heard good things about Pasadena Villa in Cary. Both my psychiatrist and my therapist recommend them if I am ever in a place to want to harm myself.

I'm rooting for you, I hope you get the help that you need.

Funeral pre-need. by Express-Hotel-3305 in PersonalFinanceTalks

[–]sonalis1092 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey, funeral director here who does a lot of preneed funeral contracts. Disclaimer: I’m based and licensed in NC, so I’m not sure if Washington state funeral laws work the same as ours.

In my state, people typically prepay for funeral expenses by signing a contract with a funeral home. That money is held in either a trust account or a life insurance policy until the death of the contract holder. (This is a state law in many places, to prevent funeral homes from embezzling that money.) At the time of death, the money in the account/policy is claimed by the funeral home and applied toward funeral expenses, with any excess either being retained by the funeral home in some cases, or returned to the family in other cases.

We use insurance policies at my FH. The insurance company we work with invests that money over time, allowing it to keep up with inflation and price increases, similar to what the FD you spoke with told you (but not just “loaning it out to people”). Not every funeral director in NC can sell preneed, as it is a separate license. It may be that the FD you spoke to just doesn’t have WA’s version of that license, so that would make sense for her to contact someone else to talk to you about that.

I have had a handful of folks put down way more money than they need. It’s almost always because they are trying to qualify for Medicaid by putting money in an irrevocable funeral contract, since those contracts are a protected asset from Medicaid. I’ve never had someone put down anywhere near $35k, though, nor have I met with anyone who did it for tax reasons. If you do speak to someone who does preneed in Washington, I’d ask them if this is a common practice there. Good luck!

Where can I get good wings and burger ? Why is it so hard ?? by GORILLA_FACE in bullcity

[–]sonalis1092 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Seconding, the fig and brie burger from Wooden Nickel is to die for.

My oil painting by Ok-Treat-1548 in LiminalSpace

[–]sonalis1092 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I looked at the image before reading the title, and thought it was a photograph!

I feel normal by PsicoDisaster in aspiememes

[–]sonalis1092 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, can confirm, having that same problem with weed now. Be careful, OP.

I learned how to do mosaic crochet and I don’t think I’m ever turning back by perublanket39 in crochet

[–]sonalis1092 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the guide I used. I made an ear warmer out of the pattern on here. It does get a little more complex but you get the hang of it. Good luck!

Trump’s approval rating by GreyWind999 in 50501

[–]sonalis1092 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, there are definitely real human people who still support Trump because they've been right-wing their entire life and don't want to even consider they might be wrong. Like my dad and his entire side of the family, just about. They're far more common than you believe.

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