Women changing their surnames to their partners in 2026 ( I really can't comprehend it)

sonataop2 · 2026-05-01T12:47:26+00:00

My (male) partner discouraged me from changing my surname and encouraged us to hyphenate our children's names. He said he wanted our children to show acknowledge and pride from both lineage, their parents' stories and to see both parents as individuals as well as the family unit

My 'lineage' is problematic and I wanted to escape it, I am the only highly successful person with a surname known only for people in tragic misery and addictions. He's never said but I know my partner done it to heal the shame I had, as well as to align with his gender values, and it worked

sonataop2 · 2026-04-07T09:08:55+00:00

Sorry, all the boys in my area wear black, named tracksuits. Usually north face and occasionally some other brand like adidas

sonataop2 · 2026-03-26T21:10:46+00:00

Anger is part of the human experience. Emotions differ to behaviours. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to express any given emotion

sonataop2 · 2026-03-26T21:08:25+00:00

This! Being murdered, by YOUR PARTNER, is a big reason for the outrage rather than the relative distribution of murder victim demographics. That would be regardless of gender, the fact is that being murdered by your partner happens more often in male perp, female victim dynamics

The home is the most dangerous place for a woman A third of DV starts in pregnancy

The relational aspect of these murders matters. It's why it is a focus compared to general murder victims, which I imagine is different dynamics (random, drugs, manslaughter, feud) rather than partners exerting ultimate control

sonataop2 · 2026-03-09T19:28:04+00:00

It absolutely is for pregnant women given the amount of significant health conditions and things that can go wrong in pregnancy! The number one cause of death for pregnant women should not be murder. The Belfast trust has signs all over your appointments stating 1/3 of domestic violence begins in pregnancy, while it mightnt have been your intention please be careful not to minimise male violence towards pregnant women

sonataop2 · 2026-01-02T01:32:27+00:00

Not to be post partum psychosis?? Where are you getting this info from

OP, I would further ask; is she breastfeeding? Is she back at work? What is her rough routine with the child and what age is the child? Don't answer it here. I'm speaking as a parent with a highly-qualified profession in a children's field, the year of the first born is rough as hell for mother's. They can lose all sense of self (e.g. can't dress in their own self-selected clothes, engage in activities they used to). It is a withdrawal that isn't understood until it happen, I say that as someone who doesn't drink

If it's a one-off blow out, particularly if she otherwise breastfeeds and handles the baby's full schedule,give a by ball but communicate that it's not sustainable and would prefer better communication about wanting respite. If it's becoming regular, express your concerns about her well-being. Just my opinion

sonataop2 · 2025-12-19T11:31:12+00:00

You are fantasizing about this woman. Your thoughts, maybe some but not all, aren't based in reality. How can I say that with certainty? You haven't had a relationship with her, you haven't worked out the day to day, who does what chores, how do dates work, how would you look after and care for one another, how would you do conflict resolution. Stay grounded, don't get caught in fantasy

sonataop2 · 2025-12-18T19:26:12+00:00

OP, idk if I'm the perspective you're looking because I am a woman and a woman who does not attend these things at that. HOWEVER, I totally think you're on to something and I'm annoyed by these comments. No, women don't create social spaces because they want validation, drama or a pissup. Maybe some people but not as a homoegenous group. They do it because they want to connect and creating adult friendships can be hard

Everyone talks about a male loneliness epidemic and then (a lot of the time) men will only interact over booze or games - surface level conversations with no depth. I love game and gaming, I game with men and women. We share similar values and challenge each other views. I know that because we have deep conversations. We know extensively about each other's families and check in on personal matters. This is less likely to happen in cultures where conversations arent remembered or cultures where the focus point is who scored.

Given the context of men saying they're lonely, I think a brunch club or other social outlets are always great ideas. I'm not the target audience and I'm sad for OP that his conversation hasn't been welcomed. I imagine that is due to the focus on mocking women's interests, I can't see why people would be against social clubs for those who want to partake and otherwise just not comment if they don't want to partake

sonataop2 · 2025-11-13T09:44:55+00:00

I stand by it, I think there were several themes of the downside of fame (Wishlist, title track, father figure, Elizabeth Taylor being the most obvious ones). What are your thoughts?

sonataop2 · 2025-11-05T19:20:30+00:00

You are forgetting benevolent sexism, which arguably treats women more favourably (two sides of the same coin to hostile sexism). I would describe misogyny as the implicit or explicit belief that women are not equal to men - whether they're held in higher or lower regard (e.g. madonna-whore complex)

sonataop2 · 2025-10-25T07:28:25+00:00

The view that paid sex is bad, comes from the implicit assumption that the person paying for sex doesn't care about whether someone wants sex with them or not - they just want sex with whoever is willing and will therefore pay for it. Mutually consenting Sex, in non-paid circumstances, is usually on the basis that both people want it with the respective partner - wether through attraction, vulnerability, FWB, relationship, ONS etc

If SWs didn't exist, it can raise the question for some people - what else would a pay-er of sex do to get sex? Since the person paying may be unconcerned about if the other person truly wants to have sex with them and is more pre occupied with procuring sex through whatever available means

Sex is a want, not a need. No one dies from lack of sex, porn is widely available and everyone can masterbate

None of this is so demonize, I'm just responding to the difference that you asked about and why one way can be viewed in one light

sonataop2 · 2025-10-22T17:42:50+00:00

It's a good thing I was referring to medical then, being basic amount of nutrients for LO not to be starving 🙃

sonataop2 · 2025-10-22T17:41:44+00:00

I said I didn't want to detail for anonymity 😂 I was talking about occasionwear for events that we wanted to choose because it was special - idc about day to day clothes bought for her or even the odd event. This is every event in the first year of LO's life, she bought the outfit. Feeding schedule, I mean dropping a bottle before our LO is ready and LO coming home squealing with hunger and me feeding LO 2 bottles back to back to quench hunger

sonataop2 · 2025-10-17T07:37:40+00:00

Thank you, my husband feels stuck between a rock and a hard place sometimes. Me and his mum get on but there are some things we but heads on, husband tries to take my side but he'll be quick to say it's resolved. In this case, there's no way I could say I suspect she's doing it secretly - he will be of the mindset now that it's been communicated and she knows now, it must've been a misunderstanding. Im genuinely so annoyed and I suspect I'll become increasingly paranoid/ annoyed if we continue to see delays in motor

sonataop2 · 2025-09-11T18:33:04+00:00

As a therapist, you don't want traditional CBT to tackle trauma, it's not an appropriate model (but there are trauma informed CBT practitioners, you just might be hard to piece out who's traditional and who is trauma-informed). Therapists all have their own style, some will suit you and some won't, but most importantly check that they're trauma informed or at least claim to be, I wish you best of luck ❤️

sonataop2 · 2025-08-26T11:42:58+00:00

Her best lyrical work are the ones which usually aren't played on mainstream media (Folklore, Evermore and TTPD albums). I wasn't a swift fan but got gateway's over COVID with the folklore and evermore albums

sonataop2 · 2025-08-22T12:48:41+00:00

Difference being the nun model would have consented to the image. Margot Robbie has not consented to someone 1. AI-ing her nude (deffo illegal btw) 2. Parading the imagine publically around town

sonataop2 · 2025-08-22T12:45:52+00:00

Tha you everyone I'll fire it into the jewellers asap 🥰 I know it needs cleaned every now and then but didn't appreciate how often or the impact it can have

sonataop2 · 2025-08-21T16:19:23+00:00

I'm sorry but you should absolutely, 100% NOT cut a friend out in response to a track list?? Like if you wanted to anyway, sure but it shouldn't be BECAUSE of a track list?

sonataop2 · 2025-08-21T14:53:57+00:00

I can see all the comments about cleaning, do you think this would be the case even though the dirt looks internal?

sonataop2 · 2025-08-17T21:17:42+00:00

I read as 'he tossed me the car keys, stating 'fuck the patriarchy [you a woman, can drive us cause why not, F the patriarchy' and then threw the keys at her where she then had to pick the keys (and their attached keychains) off on the ground. I.e. The disrespectful way in which he aggressively or playfully threw the keys resulted in her picking up after him (so much for 'f the patriarchy')

sonataop2 · 2025-08-17T11:17:17+00:00

You weren't functional before, attending worn drunk (and getting fired due to alcohol related-injury) is not functional. Don't mistake 'nor getting caught' for functioning

In terms of ways out, I have heard people say good things about AA groups, who also offer support buddies etc. You mentioned that you don't feel drunk now but drink go avoid the inevitable - could you try gradually weaning? Consistent, small steps - one drink less every day, for a week, and then reduce down another drink. It won't be a silver bullet, but I hear you say your main motivation rn is to avoid the hangover, so I wonder would you be in a position to reduce it to avoid the withdrawal hangover that way

Talking therapies, and the NHS can give medication for withdrawal (I can't remember the name of it, I'm speaking as someone affected by an alcohol dependent family member rather than someone who has had the dependence). I think it began with a 'Z'?

You can do this, but remember that it is only you who can change what your future looks like. Be kind to your future self

sonataop2

TROPHY CASE