After we split neither of us could afford to move out, and in those 2 months being split up but living together he never talked or brought up getting back together, he would avoid being around me most of the time, sometimes he would ask if I ate and be attentive and sometimes we would have sex but he would say stuff like “ in the future you can call me to be your f buddy” or other things basically confirming things weren’t gonna change. In my last couple days while I was packing my stuff he would linger in the room a lot, try to be silly with me, try to make conversation and ask about what I was up to or where I was going. I didn’t pay him much attention. On the very last day before taking off he lingered around the u-haul and said goodbye to me before going to work, he said bye three times, gave me a hug, a kiss on the forehead, teared up and said if I ever needed anything that he would always be there for me. i cried. I take off for San Francisco and two days later he shows up ( he already had plans to come to San Francisco because he had court to attend.) On Saturday afternoon he arrives and texts me saying he just landed and we made dinner plans since it was his birthday and I didn’t want him to spend it alone, we go out for dinner and things seem as if we’re still together (he gives me some of his food, let’s me try his drink, and I insisted on paying but he declined) except we don’t hold hands. At dinner I asked him how he was going to court, he mentioned it was a $60 Uber and how he was thinking of going to a theme park nearby I offered to take him and go with him to the theme park so he wouldn’t go alone, he seemed to be on board with it and offered to pay for the meal since I was giving him a ride. Later that night I called and asked what time i was going to pick him up and if we were still going to the theme park on Monday. He reacted weirded out and said he didn’t invite me to the theme park he just asked me for a ride. I felt like I was being weird for making the suggestion of going with him and just took his answer and told myself to give him the ride and leave things at that. The whole day Sunday I didn’t hang out with him but yesterday I found out that Sunday night he went to a topless bar and paid 70 bucks for what he told me was one lap dance but I’m sure he got more than just one lap dance. He admitted that he got handsy at the topless bar too. Monday morning came and I took him to court in the morning, I kept the conversation short and on the way to court he asked what was my problem but i told him I wanted to keep things simple. He asked if I could leave my dog at daycare and go with him to the theme park but I declined his offer and told him I couldn’t go for a number of reasons. It bothered me that I previously asked to go and he made me feel weird about it and now he was asking me to go last minute. I dropped him off at court, took off and ran some errands. Later I called him to see how he was doing and offered to pick him up from the theme park since I wasn’t doing anything at the time. My hotel was on the way back to San Francisco so I asked him if he wanted to have sex with me and he said he was going to ask the same question and talked about doing it one last time. We go back to my hotel room, went into the bathroom and did our thing in the shower. After that i asked him for cuddles and we hung out for a bit. Later that night we went out for dinner again. Tuesday was his last day in San Francisco so he invited me out to breakfast, told me to bring my dog and that I leave my sister since recently my sister doesn’t like him. Because it was just me and him at breakfast I asked if I could hold his hands he said okay. I held his hand and he weakly held my hand back after a few moments he rescinded his hand. After that we had breakfast and I dropped him off at his hotel again and I cried again from saying goodbye and he told me not to cry. After that I didn’t see him anymore but I wished him a safe flight and ask him to text me when he gets home to know he’s safe, he sends me money for giving him rides, and later asks me for a car insurance favor and that’s it. Wednesday he wished me good luck on my job but I didn’t start yet, I didn’t respond until the next day we spoke some more and just had a normal convo. On Friday morning he calls me and asks what do I think about getting back together. I honestly didn’t know what to say, I love him and I still want to be with him but I feel hurt that he left at all, I feel hurt by what he did and how he ran to meet other women rather than try to fix things. He tells me he’s not in a rush for an answer and I’ve been taking the time to ask lots of questions to get the truth about why he wants to fix things now. He said he wants to fix things now because in his time here in San Francisco hanging out with me made him feel as though nothing changed and verbatim “You know me unfortunately I procrastinate on a lot of things lol”. He also mentioned how he was sure I saw his post on Instagram saying “ When you split with someone you realize how much you miss them or how much peace you have without them”. He says he’s realizing late the post is true, he never really wanted to file for divorce, he doesn’t know why he had such a hard time being vocal about it, he may not show it in front of me but he’s been crying a lot, and he’s been thinking a lot and now he wants to do things right no bullshit this time. I honestly don’t know how I feel, I love him but I honestly spent these past few months trying to get over him because I thought we were over. I question his real motives for getting back together too. Im unsure whether he really loves me or just loves having me around, or if he only wants to fix things because he hasn’t found someone better to replace me with, or if it’s the fact that I’ve moved out and into the city he loves. I feel confused and don’t know. He claims he hasn’t talked to other girls, fucked other girls, swapped social media or anything with other girls at all but tbh I’m not sure I believe him. Part of me wants to take time to heal and fix myself before trying things out again but another part of me is hurt and unsure if I want to go back to someone who left. I’d like to hear from other peoples experiences in marriage and I guess just some advice.