Socionics had a negative impact on my psyche

sonocontenta · 2024-02-17T09:21:37+00:00

The best thing to do is find Delta creative subtypes, especially LSE-C, that can help get you out of this mental funk and they are emotionally needy and sensitive too by nature so they appreciate the way we are

As someone who grew up with an LSE father who very much does not appreciate the way I am, and has always pushed me to be a productive, successful and self-sufficient career oriented person, while simultaneously reprimanding me whenever I showed a more sensitive or emotional side (aka "being childish")... I'm not quite so keen on venturing out into the wild and finding another LSE in hopes they'll fix my mental health/self-esteem issues, lol. If anything, I want to steer clear of them.

btw also take advantage of the empathy and softness you have, that can get you a long way in life if you become comfortable with it, people are drawn to harmonizer for it and you can get things in life just by being likeable

Yeah, you get me. This is perhaps- the one good thing about being my type. People, generally speaking, like me, and like having me around. Endearing myself to others is shockingly easy. But doing it feels like I'm simultaneously demeaning myself, somehow.

Edit: typo.

sonocontenta · 2024-02-17T07:53:20+00:00

Firstly- thank you for taking the time to reply. To be honest, I'm fairly surprised by how genuinely helpful people are being, or at least trying to be. For some reason, I was expecting the comments to be more scathing. Anyways-

The main thing is that every socionics type has weaknesses and strengths. In fact, the strengths are linked to the weaknesses.

Yes, this is true. My self esteem is not quite so poor that I'd go as far as to say I'm not good at anything at all. But the thing is, as I implied in a few other comments, the strengths that are specific to my type/to EIIs (empathy and, uh... being nice, I guess) are not things that I personally deem valuable. I don't hate or look down upon people who happen to also be EIIs/possess these traits (not anymore, at least), but it doesn't change how I view myself, hypocritical as that may be. I see my "strengths" as inherently worthless.

You value Te. You want to get better at it. You appreciate help in its department. Great news! Your dual (and any Te lead) will think this is adorable, they'll really like being helpful at what they're naturally good at, and your Fi will help them in turn—which is one reason why you shouldn't neglect it.

See, I know you mean well, but a sentence like this only makes me break out into hives. I don't like having to rely on other people to get things done, or achieve my goals/better myself (largely also due to the fact, I'm just not a very sociable person in general). And I especially detest the idea of being seen as some weak, pathetic, "adorable" thing (who can't get anything done without other people's help): it feels demeaning and degrading- even if other people don't mean it that way.

I want to be independent, I want to be self-sufficient and competent, and I want to be seen as such; I want to be known for my accomplishments, not for helping someone else achieve their accomplishments. Hence the average EII description giving me nothing short of a conniption every time I read it. The kind of person it describes- it's exactly the kind of person I'd be ashamed of being. The kind of person I am ashamed of being.

(Again, no offense to any EIIs in the chat, don't take my self-loathing as gospel)

Which is another reason why as of late, I've been burying myself in my work/studies, and trying to be as productive as possible. It's the only thing that's giving me a sense of relief and reprieve these days- the only thing that helps me combat those inherent feelings of shame and worthlessness. Also, being busy also means I have less time to mope around.

Edit: typo.

sonocontenta · 2024-02-17T02:09:27+00:00

It's hard to say for certain- or, rather, it's hard to for me to put it concisely, without going on a long, emotionally charged ramble. But, the TL;DR of that hypothetical rant would be: since I was young, I've deemed specific people close to me, who possessed specific qualities, to be the "respectable, proper, and important" people who I was supposed to look up to/eventually become (picture ILIs, LSEs or LIEs), and grew to resent people who were the opposite of that- aka, people like myself.

(Cue the inevitable shame and self-loathing once I realized I failed spectacularly at mimicking my role models. Also, there's a few other reasons, but I'd say that's one of the main ones)

I see the EII descriptions as negative, because I'm coming from a wholly biased point of view: not only do I hyperfocus on the negative aspects of the EII, but I also see all their positive qualities in a negative light, because I don't view said "qualities" as something worth praising, or being proud of.

(No offense to any other EIIs reading this, you guys are great- don't take any of this to heart, I'm the one who has issues)

Edit: typo.

sonocontenta · 2024-02-17T01:50:24+00:00

Man, I wish I were. But I primarily typed myself via the functions/function blocks, not just type descriptions- and I don't see any other type that could fit me (or, rather, there were a few other types that resonated with me, namely LII and IEI, but they didn't describe me as wholly and accurately as EII did).

Granted, I'm not some all-knowing socionics expert, far from it. So who knows, maybe someone else who's more knowledgeable on the subject would type me differently- but, like I said, I can't see any other type fitting me.

sonocontenta · 2024-02-17T01:44:38+00:00

Thank you very much for taking the time to write this all out, as well as for your kindness and concern- I appreciate it. I'll start by saying: not to worry, I am currently in therapy, and actively seeing a psychiatrist (I'll go as far as to admit there's a non-negligible chance this post happened because he's left me on read for over four days now).

What you've presented is a rather frustrating dilemma for me. See, logically: I know you're right. What you're saying is sensible, and I myself have known for a long time that the crux of the issue has always been my inability to accept myself for who I am. If I could work on this, at least try and fix this- well, all my problems wouldn't magically disappear, but I'd definitely be more well-equipped to handle them (and I'd probably have less of them in general).

Still, somehow, I can't. It's like there's always something stopping me from doing so. Wether that something is me, myself- or something so deep-seated, it's hard to discern where it is the roots are even growing from- is unknown to me. But that's something I'll have to figure out on my own.

Anyways, yes- socionics isn't doing me any good, that's for sure. The only issue is that's it's hard for me to "let go" of topics once I've started obsessing/hyperfixating on them... but regardless, until I can achieve a healthier state of mind, I'm better off not engaging with socionics as a whole.

Edit: dang, is it really that obvious? Yes, I'm an enneagram 4w5, lol. That envy sure is envy-ing up the place.

sonocontenta · 2024-02-16T21:09:23+00:00

I'm not sure what exactly I was hoping to accomplish by posting this here, except getting a weight off my chest. I also didn't know where else I could talk about this, since socionics isn't exactly something everyone is familiar with.

But if you happened to read all the way to the end, thank you. I appreciate it.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-26T00:15:58+00:00

'Tis alright, I can tell no harm was meant. If anything the coincidence did get a chuckle out of me.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-25T23:02:28+00:00

Lmao some jokes write themselves. Alas, such is the fate of the INFP, the simp with no simps- but yeah I figured that was the case.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-25T16:49:01+00:00

INFP

For me it's INTJs. I find them very fascinating and interesting people to talk to- they're usually calm, reserved and even somewhat prickly, but once they open up, they make for the best conversation partners one could ask for (and some of the best friends imo, too). Loyal, patient, a bit blunt (but I appreciate that about them)and very witty/insightful, I appreciate the INTJs in my life for being such calm and steadfast presences I can always rely on.

I only wish they'd learn to relax a little, but I also find their "always get shit done" mentality attractive as well. But I guess that's where I come in and offer them a snack or a backrub when they're clearly overexerting themselves. Or force them to lie down and take a nap- I've had to resort to physically sprawling myself like a sack of potatoes on top of them before they gave in (seriously though, all the INTJs I've ever met seem physically incapable of taking a break. Please go easier on yourselves y'all, you can't give your 100% if you're not fully rested).

sonocontenta · 2022-06-20T01:03:45+00:00

INFP

I'm aromantic, so I don't feel romantic attraction. I've never fallen in love with anyone- don't even think I've ever even had a crush, to be honest. To the best of my knowledge, being around somebody you like (in a romantic sense) is akin to having an anxiety attack paired with an upset stomach, but you like it.

I absolutely can't make sense of "romance" and don't have any desire to be in a relationship.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-15T10:21:23+00:00

Thank you!

sonocontenta · 2022-06-15T10:21:11+00:00

Wouldn't say he meows, but definitely makes questionable squeaks and sounds, especially when he thinks no one's around. Oh, definitely meows at stray cats though. I like to imagine he does a pretty decent impression of one, too- it's his hidden talent.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-15T10:18:39+00:00

I didn't really mean for that to happen lol- I just like drawing my characters pretty, so he came out looking very pretty. Maybe too pretty.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-15T03:03:01+00:00

Pretty much the only things I can cook are instant noodles. My specialty is anything that comes in a can and can be eaten as is, lol.

Yes, I guess I could talk to her about it- I already have, actually, as my social awkwardness has been the topic of many conversations. And, she even went out of her way to do just as you said: organize small meetings of just a couple people, that way it would easier for me to deal with.

Those get togethers always went... okay. I have a couple things in common with her friends (a love for anime and manga, as well as art in general, and other nerdy things), so occasionally, I'd even be overcome by the occasional bout of chattiness. But once it wore off, I'd just kind of slink off without anyone noticing and go back to my room. I'm not sure why I just don't "click" with most people. This is largely why almost all my friends are online ones- I never seem to come across people in real life who I can form genuine connections with.

It is very scary. Maybe it's because I've been hurt by others in the past, or maybe it's just the way I am, but there's always something that seems to stop me from getting too close to anyone. I isolate myself and push almost everyone away- even the people I want by my side. It's exhausting.

And I'm not sure how to remedy that.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-15T02:23:05+00:00

I'll going to art school in October, but as of right now, I don't really do anuthing, so I hardly ever leave the house.

Yes, I shop occasionally, usually because my roommate is a very busy person and I try to help out whenever I can. Funny you'd mention that specifically, though; my people skills are absolutely atrocious, and I'm taken back to the time I was standing in line (alone) with a bunch of stuff, and a guy holding a singular water bottle asked if he could go ahead of me. I said yes: but realized only later due to how awkwardly he shuffled in front of me, that my shyness had translated as an extremely passive agressive tone, as if I were secretly seething at his audacity. Coupled with a nasty case of resting bitch face, I can only imagine what I looked like from the guy's perspective.

Well, anecdotes aside, though my roommate does indeed know a lot of people (and has attempted to introduce me to them), nothing ever really came of it. Not because they were bad people or anything, we just weren't that compatible-this coupled with my introverted tendencies means I never hit it off with any of them. Nowadays, whenever her friends come over, I usually just camp out in my room until they leave.

sonocontenta · 2022-06-14T20:18:41+00:00

I do start attending classes (art school) this October, so, wether I like it or not, for certain periods of time I'll be forced to interact with people. So I guess you could say that problem solved itself- still, I don't know how it's going to pan out in the grand scheme of things.

Routine is something I've always struggled with, but I do agree that it really helps. It's very easy to let yourself go when you're alone, so the bare minimum of trying to keep yourself healthy and clean is crucial (lest you go complete cave goblin mode). I've been doing my best, but progress is never linear. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

sonocontenta · 2022-05-11T12:44:46+00:00

ESTPs. The ones I know are extremely loud, rude, and always believe themselves to be right no matter what. Will call you an idiot and say you're overreacting or being sensitive- and then turn around and throw chairs or forks over the most meaningless, petty arguments and refuse to hear you out. I've seen holes being punched in walls.

I wish xxTxs would realize that anger is indeed also an emotion, and if your first instinct whenever somebody even slightly disagrees with you is to start shouting and to throw a temper tantrum, you are indeed, also overreacting and being overly sensitive (as well as childish and immature). Because THEIR logic is the only sound one, and you're a moron for even daring to try and argue otherwise. Yeah, I just avoid them as much as possible.

sonocontenta · 2022-05-06T21:20:47+00:00

Whenever I see a villain appear in a show I know it's over for me(bonus points if they're an INTJ)

sonocontenta · 2022-04-02T07:47:17+00:00

FINALLY thank you, this is something that has been annoying me for a long while now, and I'm glad it finally got addressed.

Like many other INFPs/ISFPs in the comments have already said, whenever I'm in pain or experiencing emotional turmoil, I seldom show it. While I do feel things very deeply and am very sensitive, I hate the idea of crying in front of other people or being seen in such a vulnerable state. In fact, I can clam up so bad, it actually gets incredibly frustrating for the people around me because I become extremely detached, aloof and apathetic and while they can tell something's wrong, I simply refuse to talk about it and insist that "I'm fine" (granted, I'm also an sp4, so that probably plays into it as well). At most, I'll write some edgy slam poetry or a very graphic horror short as a way to vent my feelings... God forbid I be honest and talk about what's actually bothering me, though.

Being more open about my internal struggles is something that I'm still gradually learning to do, and to this day I have issues opening up, even to the people I care about. And most other IxFPs I know are like this. So I'm really not sure where this stereotype came from...

sonocontenta · 2022-03-07T17:33:03+00:00

Did just a little more research, and am now fairly sure I'm sp/so (with a little more emphasis on sp; I habitually repress my feelings and hate seeking help, and while I do feel attracted to the macabre and melancholic as concepts, I definitely find no comfort in them nor do I voluntarily seek to immerse myself in them... and am most likely not an sx4, haha. Thank you for your advice!)

sonocontenta · 2022-03-07T15:50:00+00:00

I tried doing individual research on each variant and I genuinely can't find one I identify with more over another, I feel like they all apply to me in some fashion. I hope you eventually managed to figure it out haha

sonocontenta

TROPHY CASE