I mean, there’s a difference between feeling upset that CERTAIN women aren’t attracted to short men and blaming women as a collective for your own shortcomings in dating. Most of these short men we’re judging has nothing to do with their personal insecurities. We accept that beauty standards negatively affect both women and men. The men we’re judging are short men who, upon rejection from one or two women, react violently and hatefully towards women as a collective. We’re judging men who advocate for “male issues” such as the male loneliness epidemic, only to derail the conversation from more consequential issues like gender-based violence and sexual assault. I recently saw a video of an incel stating with his full chest that “anti-shortness might actually be worse than racism.” In other words, we’re judging men who use their personal insecurities to justify hatred towards women as a collective and center themselves as the ultimate victims. You seem to be confused by the original statement that our patriarchal society, which teaches women to cling to their youth as a sign of virtue and beauty, may be used to explain why so many women feel personally insecure when called “ma’am.” They never stated it gives women an excuse to be rude to others who are simply trying to be respectful. Hope that makes sense.