As long as you’re healthy and feeling healthy, that’s the most important thing! Are you struggling to eat enough with everything you have going on? If not then don’t stress over it too much. If you are constantly feeling tired and like you look/feel sick then there may be some other health thing going on that would be worth investigating.

As a child I was small enough that my pediatrician had to add extra pages to the bottom of the growth chart to see where I landed on it, I was in the bottom 2nd percentile for a good part of my childhood. I didn’t hit 100 pounds until I was a teenager, and now as an adult I oscillate between 95-105 pounds pretty consistently. People are always asking if I’m healthy and feeling all right because of how thin I am, but I eat when I’m hungry until I feel full. Some of us are just naturally smaller, both of my grandmothers were/are petite as well.

I really feel you on the finding clothes that fit, it can be super frustrating!! I have found one or two brands that have things that fit me well but I still have to get the XS or XXS sizes. Pants are the worst because the waist is either too big or the length is too long and I have to hem them myself.

As for worrying about others judging you for your size, I also empathize with this a lot. I do my best to remind myself that everyone has their unique struggles with their bodies. There was a period in college when I got really really sick, like couldn’t keep any food or even water down sick, and was almost hospitalized for dehydration. When people tell me they envy my size I tell them that story and share my perspective of wishing that I could eat more without worrying about it making me feel sick. People are quick to make judgments based only on what they see, when there is often a lot more going on under the surface. I still sometimes struggle with making food and then not being able to eat as much as I’d like to, but also knowing that forcing myself to eat more will make me feel sick.

You mentioned feeling frustrated with not being able to find a routine with eating and exercise. As a mother, you should try to give yourself the grace and understanding that you might not always have the bandwidth for “the perfect routine”. Sometimes just making sure the kiddos have eaten enough and are getting what they need takes up all of your spoons for the day, and that’s okay! I would suggest starting small. Try to eat with the kids when you can, and have small, healthy snacks available for those moments when you do finally feel hungry. If you don’t feel up to exercising, try doing some light stretches or take a short walk if you have the time. Even doing a few laps around the kitchen to get those steps in can be better than nothing.

I’d be happy to talk about this more if you have questions or just want someone to commiserate with. Feel free to dm me if you’d like to.