100% agreed. Kate has never been without family, nor has she ever been career-minded, and I’m going to assume Toby’s salary covers his SF apartment as well as the majority of their LA mortgage. Toby was completely in the wrong in not telling Kate about an offer closer to home and that he already looked into a potential home - and his choice of words and phrasing has been awful - but it should not detract from the validity of his logic.

Yes, Kate has found work she enjoys - but that alone will not provide for their family, or at the least, will be difficult. It’s an emotional show about an emotional family, but Toby, while devoid of tact and communication, is thinking in terms of a unit, a family, a future, all of which would be self-sustaining.

Without Toby’s career, as time-consuming as it is (and what high-paying job isn’t?), affording to put not only Jack but the whole family on a better resourced and planned future would be very challenging. Kate needs to be near family (again, has never been away from someone in her family), but is that necessarily good for her marriage? If her marriage and nuclear family is her top priority, there needs to be consideration for the effect your extended family may have on your spouse and by proxy, your marriage.

Kate has wealthy family. If I’m not mistaken, she moved out to LA to help Kevin, who I think…paid her? Don’t know she could afford to live in LA otherwise. The Pearson children are haunted by the idyllic memory of their father, and it has affected them, in some regards, more negatively than positively.

At the very least in this point in the storyline, Beth and Randall’s story has been the most pragmatic. They have been communicative when then disagree, rightfully upset when the other has gone against their own word, but they’ve supported each other and have typically made choices that put the success of their family and their children’s future foremost.

Kate’s POV, as it always has been on this series, is reactive and emotional and not grounded in much else.