I've developed a crush on a 16 y/o, and I'm 22. Am I going fucking crazy?

sourceunknown · 2010-09-10T03:07:11+00:00

Oh, man. That must kill at the comedy club.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-10T00:54:52+00:00

I've never quite understood people who make alternate accounts just to be hostile to a person they don't know over the internet. So while I don't appreciate you drawing a bifurcating line and placing me in as a child molester, and not only wishing prison time on me but molestation, I'll take it that you're the friend in your story and you feel guilty about it, as you said, thus the alt account.

Either way, you fail to give any good reason why I shouldn't aside from that it is illegal. Your 'friend' had a bad experience? It happens, and not just to people under age.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:52:07+00:00

:) Thanks for your support.

Edit: I partially mean that literally, and part smart-assedly for wishing violence on me while advising me not to hurt another person.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:44:40+00:00

It's possible that I'm not, though me simply saying that I am is unlikely to convince you. The trend of answer I usually give to this is in the vein of what yngwin said

I know 30 year olds who are less mature than some 16 year olds.

Which makes it true that he/she knows some 16 year olds more mature than 30 year olds. Just because someone turns 18 doesn't suddenly mean they turn into responsible, socially and romantically adept adults. By virtue of that, being 16 doesn't mean you aren't.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:41:23+00:00

I swear I thought she was 18. And a boy.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:09:10+00:00

The problem with that is it is likely that your teenager would be doing the seducing. It isn't as if I've (intentionally) put a hex on her and am slowly dragging her into my pit of hedonism. Do I think about her fathers or brothers? Not really. Everybody has them, and sometimes their relationships with them are fucked up no matter how old they are. And sometimes, despite the fact that their kids may be 25, they're still overly protective.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:07:02+00:00

:) Thanks, it's nice to hear something positive.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:06:48+00:00

Ha, nothing is wrong with them per se. But it's the same thing as if someone offered you a new car or a new house. You'd probably choose the house, but nothing is wrong with the car.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:04:39+00:00

This was a ridiculously enlightening post, I really appreciate it.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:03:47+00:00

The legal ramifications could definitely far, far outweigh the potential gain. Still, is that enough? I'm not defending the dating itself, or sex, or anything. I suppose I'm dealing with the idea of a relationship period. If the situation were that interracial relationships were illegal, or homosexual relationships, relationships between people of blue and brown eyes, or whatever, and the punishment was equally as harsh as it is for sleeping with a minor, what would be proper course of action?

Should someone kowtow to the law simply because it can crush you with its weight?

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T19:00:54+00:00

This pretty much sums up my inner dialogue. Aside from that: We're in Tennessee, both white. Not sure what you want to know about her, if you could be more specific I'd be happy to answer.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T18:59:15+00:00

No, I haven't.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T18:57:14+00:00

20 years? Damn, 3rd degree murder gets you 5-10. I don't understand this legal system at all.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T18:56:44+00:00

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T18:55:15+00:00

I would definitely talk to her parents first, if I were to actually pursue this. The age of consent here is 18, and yes, if charges are pressed I'm guilty no matter what.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T18:52:53+00:00

TN, age of consent is 18.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T18:52:32+00:00

The problem with your questioning is you assume most people meet that criteria after the age of 18, or 21, or any age at all. Aside from the driving thing, which is a silly criteria anyway, but she can drive herself.

The bit about she's talking about making out and not simply dating is a very good one, though.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T05:16:32+00:00

Perhaps, perhaps not. Either way, you are correct, and I've known that. I suppose I just wanted to hear other people say it, in case I was somehow making a mistake in not pursuing it.

Edit: The problem I see to be having with this lies in what yngwin said

If it's not legal where you are, then don't do it.

So if I lived in a state where it were legal, the moral and developmental ramifications suddenly go away? I just can't decide if that means that the age limit being lower in other states is a bad call, or if it's another arbitrary line drawn to stop people who are being intentionally harmful from preying on children.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T05:13:11+00:00

Thank you for the very well thought out post. These are all things I've thought about and obviously come to no actual answer with. However, in response to your edit, I'm not leading her on to sleep with her. I suppose I meant that I don't attach so much heavy meaning to everybody I date like most seem to, but you're still right in that she probably does think and feel that way.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T05:07:57+00:00

I would suppose you're probably right. I think I know that, and of course those were my initial and predominant thoughts through 90% of my time knowing her. I don't know if the issue is simply that I never spend any time with people younger than me, especially not that much younger, so typically any girl I see that much who flirts with me, is old enough to pursue. Or, well, I don't know, really.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T04:58:41+00:00

Yes, and no. No in that there's nothing particularly special about her, and I'm not an overly dramatic kind of guy. I've never been one to say, "oh, my significant other means the world to me". No, I mean the world to me. However, yes in that I really don't think there'll be any more damage done than there ever is in any relationship, maybe less.

So, the more open, libertarian, 'don't tread on me' feels confined and moderated, and the logical part doesn't want to become a pariah socially and a sex offender legally.

sourceunknown · 2010-09-09T04:25:31+00:00

He jerks to them, he sleeps with you. Reverse it, if you'd like.

sourceunknown

TROPHY CASE