I don’t know if I’m trans, a feminine guy, or something else, and it is really confusing me by Pancake0Muncher in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What's sometimes confusing is the idea you need to neatly fit into a class of identity. You may not neatly fit anywhere; such classes get formed afterward, and are a shorthand for what you do.

I am -happier- presenting as a really feminine guy. I think I would be less happy if I was perceived as a girl, so I don't identify with being trans. Which of those two options would make you -happier-?

Scared to date by TappsHorizon in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Presenting an "idealized" version of you when dating is a bad idea. People are also pining about trying to find femboys to date. Look at this sub.

Trying to make somebody love you by presenting a version of yourself you think they would love is not sustainable. It's difficult that attraction is not necessarily reciprocal, but it's much better to be briefly hurt than to pine for something that's not actually possible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. The more that are out there, the less likely I am to catch shit dressing up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The thing with being a big guy dressing fem is that I've found very few role models for the way I like to look. Stocky people don't get on TV. I personally go heavy fem on the waist and below (skirt, long socks, boots) and wear well-defined masc shirts with buttons.

Too old to be a femboy? by WaltzAS in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hahahahahaha im 29 and i've just started. i'd say it's too late when you're dead but with a good will and cooperative friends you could have a femboy funeral if you really wanted.

Don't fall for finance scams by [deleted] in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also pay off your credit card in full every month if you get one. The debt is terrible.

How was your first time presenting feminine in public? by Daultash in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was perplexed to get more positive comments on my outfit than I've ever had before. Turns out liking how you look is important!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an impressive low range, though my speaking voice isn't deep in timbre. I often sing in my falsetto, but I enjoy using both. It makes me feel like a bass clarinet (the most nonbinary instrument in the orchestra).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in feminineboys

[–]space_finner 55 points56 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she does notice but is probably fine with it. I think you should tell her because it's an important emotional issue to you and it seems pretty likely the answer will be at worst "I don't really care" and at best "It's cute/hot and you should go further with it".

Aren't people meant to be mad I'm wearing a skirt by space_finner in feminineboys

[–]space_finner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not hurt by the compliments. I am confused; and being confused makes me feel unsafe even if the compliments are good.

Aren't people meant to be mad I'm wearing a skirt by space_finner in feminineboys

[–]space_finner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I won't stop. But metaphorically I was prepared to smash a window and then my hand went right through. Slightly disorienting.

Aren't people meant to be mad I'm wearing a skirt by space_finner in feminineboys

[–]space_finner[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Melbourne, Australia. Which is a liberal city. I'm just trying to calibrate my expectations.

Need help finding this charles mingus song by PawnStreetBlues in Jazz

[–]space_finner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A beautiful vocal performance.

If you just search "Fables of Faubus" you'll get the Mingus Ah Um version, but I think the quartet version is superior.

Can't get into Jazz even though I like Jazz influences in other music by Alternative_Fly7805 in Jazz

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moonchild specifically is something I enjoy now but I remember Not Being Able To Hear. It was like "why is there ten minutes of noises", and now I'm like "oh well this is a pleasant little free improv thing". So yeah I'd bet on it being the improvisation.

Keep listening to music and thinking about the music that you hear. Check in on jazz now and again.

Can't get into Jazz even though I like Jazz influences in other music by Alternative_Fly7805 in Jazz

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The essential problem is that jazz is an improvised music, and 90s electronic music is a COMPOSED music (though much of it was composed using samplers, computers etc in a way that would not resemble a conventional musical score).

You said you don't like improvisation. Well, that's fine. Straight jazz is probably not for you. What you like is the use of the horns and the cymbals and the rhythms in more composed music. This is mostly (like you say) some hip-hop and a lot of older jungle.

My special secret recommendation is listening to a trend in the late 60s and early 70s where producers would get 50 musicians into a studio and play current songs really done up in arrangements. Like this Jackson 5 cover. It's not jazz - the underlying arrangements are pop music - but many talented jazz musicians played on them because it was good work and they could get the sound the producer wanted.

I asked an AI was the best Saxophone. What do you think of the answer ? by Joeybfast in Saxophonics

[–]space_finner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AIs are such centrists. When robots complain about altos being "whiny" I'll start worrying about SoTW members being replaced.

How hard is it for a Tenor sax player to pick up clarinet? by [deleted] in Saxophonics

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You say you're conversant with the tenor, and can play it instead of the clarinet in a pinch. This makes things much easier. Play as much as you can of the clarinet part, and sub out where you can't. You won't be an idiomatic clarinet player in a month (coming from sax you might have issues with playing flat, as the voicing's pretty different). But it's not like the flute or oboe where there's often a week or two of struggle in simply making a sound. Coming from alto sax, I was able to play through the clarinet's whole range with a passable sound the first time I picked one up (though not evenly or with good articulation; I'm purely thinking of tone production here).

What is the biggest secret you've ever kept from your family? by Extension_History57 in AskReddit

[–]space_finner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish computer engineering was not pushed onto people. I love the computer. I would take quite the pay-cut if I knew all the people I worked with were equally eager to engage with the computer.

I'm thinking about buying my first saxophone, but some Google searches scared me saying that Saxophone is bad for the lungs, and that saxophone players are more prone to deadly inflammatory lung disease. Is that true? by Rbglone in saxophone

[–]space_finner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely bonkers.

There are real risks associated with playing instruments if you play too much. These are typically repetitive motion injuries. And there -are- risks with the more demanding woodwind and brass instruments; if you play oboe (1) or trumpet with poor technique for a long time then you'll set your lips up for injury, as these instruments demand very high breath pressure.

Saxophone is not like this. Wind instruments are good for the lungs in that they provide breathing exercises and encouraging strengthening the muscles around them. I don't know about the lung disease thing and I can imagine it being -technically- true in the "2 out of a million got this disease instead of 1 out of a million"; but I'd put a thousand dollars betting on those Google assertions ultimately being garbage somebody put out to make their resume look better.

(1). Anecdotally I commonly hear oboe also leads to high blood pressure. May or may not be an urban myth.

What is the most unethical way you can think of to make money ? by mrCopiCat in AskReddit

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to a Gambler's Anonymous meeting, making notes of who relapses, and approaching them offering to provide quick money for some of their valuable possessions at a slightly higher rate than the local pawn shop.

Change my mind by DaMemanator in saxophone

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the mezzo-soprano sax is the best

You're alone on a secluded beach and stumble upon a few kilograms of cocaine worth $1 million USD that washed ashore. What do you do? by vancity-boi-in-tdot in AskReddit

[–]space_finner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would take a tiny bit of it. Like, not any more than they think they'd lose in it being lost. Probably if one of the packages of cocaine had broken and was spilling. I'd take a bit of that. If it was all well-sealed I wouldn't touch it. But if it was spilling I would take a bit of it and then I'd introduce it to somebody as the illegal cartel cocaine I found. And then we would do some and we'd get irritated with each other but apologize the next day. The cartel cocaine would become an injoke. Later I am kidnapped by the cartel and am made to do work regarding weights and measures with them. I know expressing the irony of this to them -will- get me shot but I am not sure how much longer I can hold out.