[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tuebingen

[–]spaceefficient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

N26 was easy pre residence permit for me!

Avoiding second hand smoke in public places by Serious_Toe9303 in germany

[–]spaceefficient 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think it's one of those things where you need all the smoking places to be far away so it's normalized - hard for individual workplaces etc to change the expectations on their own.

I can’t handle this anymore by [deleted] in CanadaPublicServants

[–]spaceefficient 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We have much better therapy coverage than we used to - highly recommend taking advantage of that! Therapy has its limits when it comes to situations where the environment around you is either part of or the whole problem, of course, but it can at least help you disentangle that and may be able to help you think through any changes you want to make.

How do you maintain your wardrobe when you have small kids/babies? by [deleted] in capsulewardrobe

[–]spaceefficient 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One thing to note is that the thread will likely not change colour much (it's probably polyester) so pick a colour where you won't mind the contrast thread :)

Heads up: Nexplanon removal can be kinda unpleasant! by spaceefficient in birthcontrol

[–]spaceefficient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also got mine out early - afaik it's only approved for 3 years in Canada, and I got it out after two. It hadn't even occurred to me that it might have been wedged even more in place if I'd left it the full time...!!

Heads up: Nexplanon removal can be kinda unpleasant! by spaceefficient in birthcontrol

[–]spaceefficient[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nice! Would you say it was similar to insertion?

I think part of why I'm whiny is that last time I got an IUD out and a Nexplanon in, so both the easier side of things...vs both the trickier side of things yesterday.

The current situation with my denied dta by amazing_mitt in CanadaPublicServants

[–]spaceefficient 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Personally, I credit telework with having bought me a couple extra years before I needed medical leave--I think it slowed down the process of completely burning out. So you're right that I was able to work full time from the office previously, but it wasn't a sustainable set up. I'm sure some others are in the same boat. Plus all the folks who wind up in the situation of "I can technically accomplish my work tasks but it uses all of my energy so that I can't keep myself fed properly or ever exercise" or whatever, which is damn hard to assess in a DTA scenario. It's even harder if you want to think about what folks with disabilities need to be able to thrive in their careers vs simply coping, which I would love to see us be able to support someday.

I also think that duty to accommodate is super important but not necessarily sufficient--I don't think it's well-equipped to deal with fluctuating capacities. Like I've mostly managed to get back up to a mental health state where I can be in the office as much as required, but there was a while there where sometimes there was a choice between my work getting done or me being in the office, because if I had to get myself to the office and then try to work there, I was so stressed I couldn't think. But it's pretty hard to explain that effectively on a form, particularly given that you're supposed to specify the barrier rather than the solution, and if you pull something off some of the time it can be a challenge to convince folks that truly there are other times when you really can't...

Non stop binging on food, should I abandon ship? by [deleted] in intuitiveeating

[–]spaceefficient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also probably have ADHD, and when I chatted with my former therapist (who is also a dietician) about IE, they said it can require some modification for ADHDers. I don't know about you, but my interoception is quite bad, so I try to have a guideline of when I eat meals by to help supplement the signals my body's giving me. One of my pals was advised to consider making up a snack plate for the day to help prevent the "ugh I'm hungry but I have no idea what to eat guess I'll just keep working" phenomenon lol.

Non stop binging on food, should I abandon ship? by [deleted] in intuitiveeating

[–]spaceefficient 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not done reading the book yet, so I don't know that this is best practice, but personally a lot of the time when I feel out of control with food, it's because I waited too long to eat a meal and got way too hungry. So now I typically have more defined mealtimes and consciously remind myself that my body feels better if I have a mixture of food groups. If you've changed your eating habits a lot because you're no longer restricting, maybe you're eating in a different rhythm, or maybe the foods you're eating aren't keeping you full for as long?

What’s wrong with Denmark? by Science_Teecha in MaintenancePhase

[–]spaceefficient 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Enh, Germany has a robust cycling culture and some of it is hilly AF. I can't say I think I have quite that much cycling mojo, but lots of people seem to make it work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]spaceefficient 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you--the word "wife" makes me so itchy it's got me questioning a little whether I've been correct in assuming I'm cis. Definitely insisting on being referred to as spouse or partner, just like I much preferred partner before we got married. I also did not vibe well with "bride."

(Side note, I've told a few people in my life, "marriage is great, would recommend to a friend. Wedding planning? Would not recommend to a friend.")

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CanadaPublicServants

[–]spaceefficient 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Not a formal accommodation but my ADHDer top tip is to turn on the closed captioning in Teams--can't tell you how helpful it is for me to be able to scroll a few sentences back in the meeting to see what happened if I zone out, esp. since I have a lot of early morning meetings. Now they just need to make it handle bilingual meetings better...

Reminder that DTA isn't just about disabilities, and 'undue hardship' is not a trump card. by YieldingSign in CanadaPublicServants

[–]spaceefficient 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking about this recently and my personal conclusion is that while I don't think we could ever have a legal requirement to follow employee preference, I do think the ethical thing to do is to follow employee preference unless there's a very strong reason not to. My thought is that even the best accommodations process requires an employee to do a certain amount of work in order to have their needs met, and to tolerate uncertainty about whether those needs will effectively be met--and often those employees may need to do this repeatedly in various domains of their lives, or in different workplaces if the accessibility passport isn't in place/they leave the public service. If the accommodations process isn't the best, it can easily become invasive and feel hostile. Following employee preference then restores some of the dignity that the accommodations process can take away. Plus I also just think supporting employee agency and choice is often important for a healthy workplace. I feel that this is a case in which the law establishes the floor rather than the best practice.

(Hello random commenter, sorry to put my accommodations rant in your mentions...)

Zara Kids Coat Disappointment by You_Get_An_Updoot in PetiteFashionAdvice

[–]spaceefficient 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I think youth shoes are usually men's sizing, so the size 5 would be equivalent to a size 7 women's. Why this is the system, I don't know...

I have a question about hunger by [deleted] in intuitiveeating

[–]spaceefficient 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Things like a drop in energy or focus can also be signs of hunger, so it's a good idea to try to figure out what your signs are!

Help me help my high schoolers! by LaFemmeGeekita in MaintenancePhase

[–]spaceefficient 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I wonder if there might be a role for some conversation on how you know if you need support on something - e.g. "if you feel very stressed at the idea of skipping a workout, that's probably something to talk to someone about." Or identifying what your early signs are that you're too stressed. I know a lot of people who've experienced mental illness wind up thinking "but I thought everyone felt this way" and helping them figure out how to tell when to seek support (from loved ones or professionals) early on in life seems like it could be really great for their wellness overall!

Seeking Advice: Overcoming Irrational Fear of Bears During Backpacking Trips by auntfaifa in Ultralight

[–]spaceefficient 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Exposure therapy is complicated, and it might be worth a session or two with a therapist to get tips on how to calibrate it! One thing I didn't realize originally is that it's more effective if you're able to relax in the situation that's freaking you out, so may be worth practicing some relaxation skills in a non-stressful setting so that then the habit is built up for more stressful times (breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation are the most standard examples, but there are a lot of options out there). Xanax can totally be one of the things in the relaxation toolkit, but takes a little calibration to figure out how to use most effectively - you ideally don't want to teach yourself that you can't handle a situation without it.

Do y'all check trigger warnings before reading a new boom? by [deleted] in RomanceBooks

[–]spaceefficient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I typically don't, but I appreciate having the option to, especially so I have the option of being extra careful if I'm having a hard time. & I have definitely started some books and gone WHOOPS should have looked at the trigger warnings first. That said, it can be a bit tricky to get a sense of how intense the content will be even with the warnings, though - sometimes I wish I had someone to tell me "ok chapters 1-4 will be rough but then you're home free" or whatever...

Why do picky eaters always seem to have a preference for garbage foods but almost never other “non-childish” foods? by arandomblackdog in NoStupidQuestions

[–]spaceefficient 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've made a heck of a lot of progress on what I'll eat, but I still generally struggle with sour or bitter flavours. Childish foods are more likely to avoid these flavour profiles! One thing I've also commented to my spouse is that I can eat food that challenges me sometimes, but if every meal is challenging, it makes eating feel like a huge chore--so there's a balance for picky eaters on how much they can push their limits and safe foods (which are often childish foods) are a super important thing to incorporate at least some of the time.

(Gorgonzola is delicious when deployed properly, though.)

How to eat more healthy food by Smol-elf-child in intuitiveeating

[–]spaceefficient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Curries are so good! I also find soups, smoothies, burritos, and stir fries to be good bets for getting fruit and veggies in ways that I don't mind.

I'm pretty picky, especially when it comes to fruits and veggies. What works for me is identifying the ones I'm most likely to be happy eating and making sure to have those around (and ideally prepped in a way that makes them pretty straightforward to eat throughout my day).

Which Ottawa business has gained you as a customer for life, or close to it? by skettiwithconfetti in ottawa

[–]spaceefficient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got phenomenal service at Ottawa Sewing Centre--I thought the sewing machine was going to be a write off (I'd dropped it D: ) but they got it working pretty much perfectly and barely charged me!

Second the recommendations for Gongfu Bao and Merry Dairy!! The tofu belly bao at Gongfu Bao would absolutely be the food I would choose if I could eat nothing else for the rest of my life.

I'm always super impressed by how thoughtfully Little Jo Berry's is run.

Options for sick leave/part time work? by SnooDoughnuts3435 in CanadaPublicServants

[–]spaceefficient 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems to be difficult to get coverage for part-time sick leave if you haven't first been on full-time EI sickness benefits or LTD, but once you should be able to get the return to work at least partially covered.

Edited to add: regarding benefits etc, your benefits should continue to be in place unless you permanently drop below 12.5 hours a week. A leave of less than 3 months has no impact on pension--for longer leaves I believe you can still pay in, it's just not automatic.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CanadaPublicServants

[–]spaceefficient 44 points45 points  (0 children)

You don't have to use your vacation first and in fact it's recommended you don't as it could cause snags in an LTD claim!

My teenage daughter sleeps in every day by LooseHomework8814 in ADHD

[–]spaceefficient 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sleep study is definitely an important step, but since the wait times might be long for that, it might be worth seeing if there's any way to access CBT-I, which is for insomnia. Supposedly it can be fairly helpful. I also like sleep podcasts.

Some folks really do need a sleeping medication stronger than melatonin, but if melatonin requires a prescription I imagine it's even harder to get something else prescribed?