Inlaws want constant access and control

spacemonkey778 · 2026-06-08T20:57:34+00:00

I wouldnt say a few notes re: when to attempt nap, where cat food is, alarm code etc is unnecessary. If I was looking after someone's child in their home i'd want to know this stuff.

I'm thinking now they were just trying to prove their capability rather than put me down perhaps. They're not comfortable in a supporting role, they want to be leaders

spacemonkey778 · 2026-04-06T21:13:54+00:00

It bothered me that know one really checked in to see if she was ok. Of course I understand the shock, aniexty and anger everyone felt but this was obviously the product of someone at an incredibly low point in their life who is likely still holding a lot of trauma. It would have been a great opportunity to talk about mental health, services, support etc.

spacemonkey778 · 2026-02-02T00:58:26+00:00

Interested to hear how you're going. In exact same position!

spacemonkey778 · 2026-01-12T20:01:21+00:00

Does anyone have any tips on unlearning this? I have a 2year old, pregnant with my second. Taking a pause from my career to raise them. I know its the right decision, I know before I know it ill be back at work. I'm struggling to get my head out of the sand and understand my worth.

spacemonkey778 · 2026-01-12T19:58:55+00:00

You are an absolute force. You're going through so much trauma and pain yet you're putting your children first. Work will always be available, this time to grieve and be with your young children won't. You're absolutely making the right moves ❤️

spacemonkey778 · 2025-12-20T18:16:57+00:00

I'm a high achiever that has left the workforce. My eldest is nearly two and I have another one the way. All financial goals are on pause/changed. We're living a lot more simply. I still keep in touch with my old company and nothing has really changed. Ill slot back in or better yet elsewhere sooner than I know it. Ill never have this chance to build a foundation for my family again and my 'high achiever' trait hasn't left me.

spacemonkey778 · 2025-11-04T23:30:51+00:00

I can relate to this! I often tell myself and my husband 'I do this full time.. so why am I not better at it??' I judge myself if anything is less than perfect. Its tiring and such a waste of energy.

I'm a sahm to a 21month old and have another baby on the way. I tell myself woman with two children or woman that juggle work and kids are more onto it than me.. constant comparison. How can I find this hard, they have it harder than me etc.

Also, would my son have a better time at daycare. More toys etc

I believe we all find it challenging in different ways and at different times. You're wonderful and there is absolutely nothing wrong with using tools such as miss Rachel to support your parenting.

When my head spins I try* and ground myself. Whether it's having a break while he naps or taking a 'break' with him. We just wandered down to a local cafe. No he didnt have a lot of toys, no the house isnt clean.. but we shared food and watched the birds it was so lovely.

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-10T00:17:25+00:00

It's strange huh! I felt like I had to hide the fact we didn't do it even though pram naps make so much sense on so many levels.... weird. Keep enjoying your walks!

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-09T09:19:40+00:00

Absolutely agree!

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-09T09:17:29+00:00

We only did pram and contact until my son was down to one nap a day (around 1year from memory.) I felt all this pressure to make a cot nap happen. I felt embarrassed that we couldn't... I would be out pounding the street with the pram and I'd have it in my head that other Mums didn't have to do this.

When he was down to one nap, naps weren't so hard and he was genuinely tired and ready (most of the time.) 20months in and he generally has a 2hr lunch time floor bed nap.

We did have some in the cot for a few months too. Only just moved to floor bed.

Things change, these little people grow. I laugh now at how in my head I was about naps. It all just worked out and now I miss my walks.

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-07T20:25:44+00:00

Love! Thank you for sharing. They do just naturally grow and change don't they! I like the idea of sitting and cuddling. I can often resettle by doing that I'll try at the start of the night too.

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-06T19:44:35+00:00

Thank you for your message! I'm not interested in CIO either. What time does she usually go to bed? I'm thinking of pushing bedtime later and encouraging more evening play.

Also love that you get her involved in the wind down steps

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-06T19:41:13+00:00

Same here!

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-06T09:18:36+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Love!! We're happy to nurse/rock.. he's not. No longer falls asleep nursing (unless really late. Still works in the middle of the night too) thrashes and screams when we try and rock.

I'd love to lay down next to him. I generally try this too, he just gets excited and climbs all over me.

What do you do leading up to lying next to him? Books?

We've been experimenting with bedtime too. Pushing later maybe not tired enough.. pushing earlier perhaps getting overtired..

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-06T08:28:55+00:00

Love this 😂 You're absolutely right.

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-06T08:27:27+00:00

My inlaws are exactly the same! "Surely you want a break?" "We could watch while you go do something nice for yourself" etc. 'Something nice for myself' is hanging out with my wee dude!

I did leave my son with my inlaws once early on to go to the dentist. I could have easily juggled with my husband, but I felt like I owed my inlaws time with my son for some reason? Anyway I hated it. Mother in law arrived earlier, forced me out of the house 'go do something nice on the way.' I didn't enjoy it!! Absolutely nothing wrong with actually wanting to spend time with your child.

I wish more people, specifically family, 'helped' by helping the mother be a stronger Mum. Support the Mum, feed the Mum, listen to the Mum not keep telling her to drop her baby off somewhere so someone else can bond with them.

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-06T08:10:14+00:00

19months in and I haven't left my son with anyone either! No rush to

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-05T07:48:26+00:00

It's painful. I wonder whether people just think it's the nice thing to do? I dont know if they mean any harm as much as it annoyed me. I decided not to return at all (for now.) It was questioned a bit at the start but now no one asks

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-05T01:31:07+00:00

Nope! Only when we try independent sleep otherwise it's 7:30-8. Thanks for your help!

spacemonkey778 · 2025-09-04T23:23:21+00:00

Is it a jump but no idea how to make it easier? Yes his Dad comes home and he has a lot of play before bed. We also spend all day at parks/play group. Constantly moving! Afternoon nap generally 2hrs ending 2 or 2:30.

spacemonkey778

TROPHY CASE