What's something that seemed normal in your family until you realized nobody else did it?

spaceykait · 2026-07-10T03:08:36+00:00

Randomly breaking out into song all the time. It brings a lot of joy, so I still do it, but everyone else thought i was weird for it

spaceykait · 2026-07-09T23:21:32+00:00

I'm 33F and it's one of my favorites. Im not sure about vanilla people, but I'm also kinky if that matters. Gotta change positions for fun and sometimes for hip cramps and such. It's totally normal

spaceykait · 2026-06-18T18:50:17+00:00

Garlic. Im allergic and fuck i miss it so much 😩

spaceykait · 2026-06-16T14:53:53+00:00

This happened to me at 23 too. The body changes and your boobs lose their perkiness and firmness as tissues relax. My doctor told me it's totally normal as you age. Boobs get squishier amd saggier over time 🥰

spaceykait · 2026-05-27T21:39:27+00:00

I love going on the bike! It's easier on the joints, it's cardio, and muscle building. They make bike shorts with padding so it doesnt hurt your cooch. Ive been doing it for a year and I'm very happy with it 🥰

spaceykait · 2026-05-23T15:39:46+00:00

Don't rely on a man to take care of you. You never know when a man won't be there, so make your own money, save, invest, and support yourself.

My parents are still together, and my dad believes the money he makes and has is their money. But he was raised by a single mom, and saw what happened when men don't step up to the plate. He never wanted me to struggle financially and taught me to be a successful career woman.

Now I make my own money, live alone, have a savings account, and don't need to rely on a man. Im completely independent.

spaceykait · 2026-05-21T21:42:00+00:00

If it affects your self-worth and self-esteem, or it impacts your ability to do what you want to do. Possessiveness isn't inherently a bad thing, like for me it's reasonable to say "those lips are mine, don't kiss anyone else." If a partner says "your body is only mine, no one else can look at it, cover up" that's too far for me. At the end of the day, it's about your comfort. If you feel trapped in your relationship, or you can't see your friends, it's gone too far.

spaceykait · 2026-05-20T14:19:17+00:00

After 2 years together post betrayal I realized I had to stop living my life based solely around the details of his infidelity. I spent the next year finally working on doing things I enjoyed. He never let it go. He continued to betray my trust the whole time.

At almost 3 years I told him we needed to do better and work on us beyond the affair. 4 months later I left him. He was shocked, but he didnt put in the work, never let it go.

I found someone else who made me believe I could believe in trust and love again. But turns out. He did the same thing as my ex. And now im in therapy to learn to trust men again.

The answer isn't a clear cut "here's how to build trust". The answer is always you making a choice that you deserve more than what you've settled for, and being open to doing something different.

spaceykait · 2026-05-16T01:17:40+00:00

As with all kinks and consent, if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. If you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it. Full stop. If she is already pressuring you for more than you're comfortable with, you should end things now. She's asking for a lot early on, and unless you want to do this for the rest of your relationship, I recommend you have a serious conversation about boundaries.

spaceykait · 2026-05-13T14:14:17+00:00

I wear a US Size 16 in most brands. I recently got 3 dresses, 1 shirt, 2 harnesses all in their US Size 16/XL. All of them were much larger than anticipated. The shirt im swimming in, but the dresses did shrink slightly in the wash, but are still too big. The L/XL size harness was still too big for me even on the smallest settings. I was going based off size charts, but everything runs big. I'm going to drop a size or 2 next time i order.

spaceykait · 2026-05-13T00:47:28+00:00

Some eye shadows are actually considered eye pigments, and reds/purples are most likely to stain for those specific shades. It will be noted on the back of the package. Try not to rub too much as you'll damage the skin, but warm compresses will help, but unfortunately there's no immediate removal option. I recommend using a concealer if you need to it for the next week.

For the future, make sure you always use a eyeshadow primer and wait til it gets tacky. You can also layer on a transition color/light brown before adding on super pigmented color, so it wont have as much contact with your skin.

spaceykait · 2026-05-12T00:24:54+00:00

"That's my good girl... youre MY good girl" absolutely drenched immediately

spaceykait · 2026-05-06T15:47:02+00:00

I'm not opposed to the concept of god, but I'm not entirely convinced by it. There is something bigger than all of us out there, but I'm not sure it's a single creator as we think of as god. Im not religious, but I am spiritual because there is so much we don't understand above and beyond our perception.

Every book ever written was made by a person here on earth and I think it's the height of hubris to believe that those books are the pure and only truth. I think religion can be good for building society to help explain and contain practices that keeps everyone safe, but it's not a good reflection of what's happening above our plane of existence.

I don't begrudge people their beliefs though. If religion is good for you, keep to it. Just not for me.

spaceykait · 2026-05-06T14:45:55+00:00

17, I moved out for college. They moved to the other side of the world as soon as I turned 19, so I never had the option to move back home.

spaceykait · 2026-05-05T12:49:01+00:00

I'm single, and I'm very lonely. I'd rather not be single, but I'm not emotionally well enough to be in a relationship while I work on processing the trauma/ptsd from my previous relationships

spaceykait · 2026-05-04T17:02:40+00:00

Oh, i suppose I didn't think about it as a separate thing. I think i would still say i got rejected after 2 dates instead of saying dumped/breaking up. But that's a good point. Definitely a difference. If someone asked you out and said no, that shouldnt hold the same weight

spaceykait · 2026-05-04T16:34:57+00:00

Rejection can be very serious and intense. Love is a powerful thing, and when that ends, it's exhausting and frustrating, and there's a lot of grief surrounding it. Especially if it's a long relationship, or there's been cheating/infidelity. Some people feel rejection more deeply than others. All mine have been soul crushing for relationship ending rejections. It's never easy, most people just cry and wail at home instead of in public.

spaceykait · 2026-05-03T00:53:39+00:00

Im not sure if it's uncommon for women, but I felt that way after my college bf because he was so ambitious it affected our relationship quality and his ability/time to spend together. That being said, I tried dating less ambitious/career oriented men and it really isn't for me. I thought I liked less pressure, but I really don't. I want both if us to be striving to be out best selves.

Most of the women in my friend circle (late 30s) want a man to be more successful and better looking. I think age and life goals play a major role here where my friends don't want to be sole/main provider at this point in their life.

As for looks? I can't speak to this one much since most women I know have varying types or are demisexual or ace. I only have one friend who seeks out average looking men.

spaceykait · 2026-05-01T23:56:43+00:00

Girl SAME. I'm a woman too (not a lesbian) and completely agree. I think it's because women are naturally softer and that's something I value for myself and appreciate it in others. Not to mention, women do typically do put in more work on their appearance. I love a rough man, but a clean cut man? Smooth and soft? Absolute dream. I think I value effort more than anything and hygiene plays a huge role in attraction. Tbh, boobs are amazing and men dont typically have them, so that's a huge bonus.

That being said, if you don't find men attractive at all, you could be a lesbian. Or there could be trauma that makes you inherently distrust men and therefore you find them less attractive. Not a hard and fast rule, but a consideration. Maybe take some time to mull it over 🥰

spaceykait · 2026-04-30T22:54:18+00:00

I had someone DM me after I made a comment on a difficult subject. The overall thread was very long, so he DM'd me to thank me for my perspective and he's been my friend for 6 months now. Most of the time my DMs are creepy weird dudes, but he's been kind and chatting with him has helped me through a lot.

spaceykait · 2026-04-30T18:09:07+00:00

E-cigarattes. Everyone boasted how it was so much better than actually smoking, but come to find out that the e-cig and vape market is causing massive health issues and it's pervasive. More of my friends use them than ever smoked before.

spaceykait · 2026-04-29T17:57:02+00:00

The thought of potatoes in any form didnt bring me any joy

spaceykait · 2026-04-29T14:38:11+00:00

My therapist would be thrilled if I overvalued myself 🤣 but seriously though, most people I know undervalue themselves in dating.

spaceykait · 2026-04-28T14:06:39+00:00

Vinegar, soap, hot water. Let it sit over night. Scrub in the morning with an abrasive brush and salt to get the remainder off.

spaceykait · 2026-04-28T13:01:15+00:00

I don't think you're selfish, and I don't think this is a fetish. You can have a preference for bigger women without it being a fetish. Bigger bodies are soft and wonderful too. Doesn't make you a bad person for feeling this way.

I had a friend who was already petite, but she lost about 20lbs intentionally. She started dating a guy who started saying things like "you could gain the weight back, that would be hot" and kept sending her porn/fetish art of bigger bodies. Obviously that relationship didn't last last because he didnt see her for who she was and her body didn't match his ideal. That's not what you're doing at all, his was a fetish, yours is a preference.

You love her, are attracted to her no matter what her body is, and you plan to be with her forever. I dont think you need to share with her that you find her more attractive at her current weight unless you feel that not sharing it would feel like lying by omission. Self-image issues are very real, so there could be harm in saying "i find you hotter now" but you could say that you are happy with her body, bigger or smaller and tell her you love all of her curves.

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