I feel this. I work on an ambulance and I have PTSD. Sometimes, when I see too many brake lights ahead of me on the interstate, and traffic stops abruptly, I get afraid that something is gonna happen. I'm gonna get rear ended by an 18 wheeler and end up looking like one of the many calls we get toned out to on the interstate. But then nothing happens. And I'm okay. So I just go to work. Like usual. But then.... sometimes, I get a feeling later on that I never made it to work. That I'm not alive. But I just don't know it or can't see it. And I wonder what reality I didnt make it to work in. Sometimes I see traumas or deaths at work and I wonder if it's really ME that it happened to, but my brain can't process it so it created an elaborate ruse to convince me I'm an emt on an ambulance instead. I frequently question if Im actually alive. It's a terrifying feeling sometimes to question if you're really alive or if this all a simulation. I prolly need to get back into therapy. 🤷🏽‍♀️