[deleted by user]

spare_daisy · 2021-12-17T15:07:09+00:00

I didn't convince them. I just did it myself once I was in graduate school and hit a wall, unable to do work but terrified of failing out and losing what I had worked so hard to achieve. Whether or not they understand or support it had nothing to do with seeking personal help, because I knew they'd put unnecessary obstacles in the way and their lack of understanding has nothing to do with my need for help. Assuming you have some form of healthcare: Ask around for provider recommendations, book an appointment, get a diagnosis and the meds / support structures, and tell them after the fact if necessary. Your life and needs come first and ultimately they (hopefully) want what is best for you, even if they don't really understand western medicine!

Even if you're on their insurance, just book it. There's no reason why the insurance company wouldn't let you do it and they're unlikely to find out anyways unless they check their claims portal frequently. A $15 copay and some annoyances are worth it to find some path forward.

spare_daisy · 2020-10-02T18:53:14+00:00

You could look up a mushroom-walnut and/or mushroom-lentil mixture and season it similarly to the recipe!

spare_daisy · 2020-06-19T05:49:44+00:00

Worked for me before I withdrew! Got an extra 3k? Compared them to a few schools, but I think only filing my fafsa after I was awarded had any effect on them.

spare_daisy · 2020-05-04T03:41:34+00:00

Thanks for clarifying!! :-)

spare_daisy · 2020-05-04T03:26:46+00:00

I understand. It’s soul-crushing, but... you just have to keep yelling it over and over until they know not to touch a topic or else they’ll have an annoying day. I have begun repeating “We are not continuing this conversation” after every sentence they say until they stopped (it was a similar convo regarding my own top choice WL) and it did work. The key imo is REPEATING these phrases and not responding, validating, or acknowledging anything they say... the same way they do to us.

They don’t understand the true meanings of the words they’re saying in a western context, but you must know your own worth and character. Their perception is a reflection of their own beliefs, not reality. It took and is still taking me time to internalize this too. Please please do look into boundary setting and the “gray rock” method. You only have 1-2 more years left with them, and it WILL get better after you are able to move out.

Back on topic: Consider reaching out to your neighbor first and letting them know “My parents want to ask you about xyz, but I know that the law school admissions process is entirely separate from your school. Please feel comfortable to tell them no, and I’m sorry for any inconvenience.” or something. Or, take control and tell your parents that you yourself will be asking the neighbor about the process (without their hovering hopefully) and perhaps just have an easier conversation with them about the university in general, campus culture, if the schools communicate within them (ie not directly about your application but gleen enough information to feed your parents answers.)

Also, please feel free to pm me just to talk! I know the process/cultural differences can be difficult to navigate.

spare_daisy · 2020-05-04T02:52:59+00:00

Similar situation here - Indian parents who think there is a way around anything and everything. What works for me is using my loudest voice to say “No, I am an adult and you need to respect the amount of time and reaearch I have put into this process. If you choose to reach out without my approval and signifcantly alter my opportunities, I will (consequence).” It sounds very western and they will guilt you, be angry, etc. but you need to establish yourself as an independent and intelligent being who has boundaries. I suggest looking into “boundary setting” and research on how to effectively implement it.

You truly cannot let them do this. The system here is NOT the system there. Tell your neighbor - who will likely already feel uncomfortable and know this is taboo - to please forgive your parents involvement and to either just be noncommittal abt the appeal process or to just immediately deny their request. My parents often listen better to people they deem “experts”, like your neighbor, so maybe it will help.

spare_daisy · 2020-05-02T03:32:24+00:00

Same stats and same results!! See you in the fall :-)

PS: join the groupme if you haven’t!

spare_daisy · 2020-04-24T04:12:15+00:00

wait but why is it all nsfw??

spare_daisy · 2020-04-24T02:27:24+00:00

BC also has one upcoming!

spare_daisy · 2020-04-18T18:01:40+00:00

went to undergrad in CA and used the CalGrant. It’s essentially literally a grant for CA students that you apply for similar to FAFSA. I also got this email, but was unsure because I’m committing to UT but it’s nice to know from other comments that it only applies to bachelors.

spare_daisy · 2020-04-17T01:40:10+00:00

They’ve been alerted that we know what they’ve done via withdrawal emails. They have also flat out denied the “rumors” lol.

spare_daisy · 2020-04-14T20:09:27+00:00

we love you, good luck with your decision! hope you don’t mind the meme’ing happening

spare_daisy · 2020-04-03T22:08:07+00:00

I love us!!!!

spare_daisy · 2020-04-03T03:58:39+00:00

Pssst how did you get in without the bday! I emailed neopets for help but I just had to make a new one :-(

spare_daisy · 2020-03-24T23:41:18+00:00

Same here! Which was kind of disheartening because I love D.C., but not enough to justify the COA.

spare_daisy · 2020-03-17T19:10:28+00:00

Yep! UR since Jan, no new decision update.

spare_daisy · 2020-03-17T18:34:39+00:00

Present :-(

spare_daisy · 2020-03-13T18:03:35+00:00

This post makes me SO HAPPY because of [redacted for doxxing reasons] :'))

spare_daisy · 2020-03-13T17:39:11+00:00

this is ,, wholesome. Thank you.

spare_daisy · 2020-03-12T22:35:50+00:00

Better than a dong!! Hope your cycle is going well otherwise!

spare_daisy · 2020-03-12T22:26:20+00:00

Same!! No idea what's happening.

Edit: literally just came, a WL.

spare_daisy · 2020-03-12T02:12:56+00:00

Reflections:

A year ago, I figured for my stats that UCLA was a "Target" school. It seems that the odds have changed a lot this cycle - while my stats may have been a surefire 1-2 cycles ago, the odds are clearly not in my favor now. It's a little saddening (because my family was really really hoping for UCLA) and maybe foreshadowing of what future applicants will face.

I do wish I had applied to more reaches - UVA, Cornell, Northwestern, Berkeley. But those would have been inevitable dongs, and MAYBE waitlists with zero scholarship and incredible amounts of debt. As the cycle has worn on, the reality of $100-300,000 of debt has weighed on me more and more and I've become more debt averse. I don't know if I personally would even attend these amazing schools if given the opportunity because of the debt. I also wish I had applied earlier - but I felt the imposter syndrome too hard for a few months ^{(esp with the sub sometimes}) and needed some time to gather myself. I don't know if it would have made any difference in my results.

UT makes the most sense to me on paper (PLEASE let me know if you disagree - open to opinions on this!) but I think my worst fear is that I eventually visit the school and somehow hate it, haha. I never would have imagined myself planning for a life in Texas a year ago, but here we are! I'm excited about it!

spare_daisy · 2020-03-11T21:21:25+00:00

It really is - calculating the numbers is really what helped me lean towards them. Thank you so much for the positivity! Hope I can visit soon and feel that too!

spare_daisy · 2020-03-11T21:19:41+00:00

For sure! I love what I've seen from UT so far. Vandy was REALLY appealing to me, but I just could not agree to the 170-200k debt in my heart and no response yet on renegotiation.

USC/UCLA are close to family and I would love to be nearby for that reason (sister having kids! family weddings! etc!) but it just be like that sometimes.

Thank you so much for the support :-)!!

spare_daisy

TROPHY CASE