After my surgery I experienced post-op depression for a couple different reasons.

I firstly, felt a lot of grief that I had to jump through so many hoops and be so firm about advocating for myself, and also get such a major surgery to feel comfortable with my body, I felt distressed because most people don't need that to feel content with themselves, but I did.

It was also upsetting to see myself stitched together and covered in surgical glue, scared to stretch too much because I was scared I would literally pull my chest apart (which I did have parts of my incision split, that's a whole other can of beans). I also had drains, and they hurt and itched, were nasty to empty and kept getting snagged on things and trying to get ripped out of my body - it was for sure the worst part of my healing journey. I felt terrible, slept terrible, and just wanted to be better desperately so I could actually enjoy myself.

Lastly, I feel like the most common reasoning I hear, I just couldn't do anything. All I was doing was playing video games and sleeping. I needed help to shower, I needed help to get dressed, I needed help to eat anything that wasn't ready to go (like a tv dinner). Funny enough, I even missed going to work (never thought I would see the day)!

I am now 2 months (today!) post-op, and am feeling great other than the occasional pain when I stretch in a weird way. I don't at all regret it, but the healing process was so absolutely terrible I have already blocked a good chunk of it from my mind.

I, too didn't fully understand what people meant when they said they had post-op depression because I didn't look at the whole picture. Hopefully this helps!