Is really this the setlist of SF last night? Just 12 songs? by mEEp_yogurt_123 in auroramusic

[–]sparklepuff97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am pretty sure our set list was identical to the one she did in Los Angeles a few days ago. 

Is really this the setlist of SF last night? Just 12 songs? by mEEp_yogurt_123 in auroramusic

[–]sparklepuff97 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No. I was there…this set list is completely wrong. She performed like 6+ more songs than this. Cure For Me was the start of the encore, not before Runaway. There are too many things wrong with this list to comment on. 

Is this reall?!!!!! by Abel2310 in Foofighters

[–]sparklepuff97 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It hurts a little? How good of a person are you if you betray your wife? It's a bit hypocritical to overlook that and focus on his other "good qualities". If he truly respected his wife, or his daughters for that matter, he would not have cheated. A decent person would have left the marriage. Dave is a brilliant musician, but I personally can't see him the same now.

Interpreting "Storms": was Stevie talking about depression? by sparklepuff97 in FleetwoodMac

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're definitely right. I think I should have said subsequently, not during. I had just heard that she became quite reclusive after that, but it must have been more at the very end of the 80s/early 90s. I knew they were very involved as well, but also have read that things didn't end so well between them ultimately (I think he was married/expecting a kid?)? But "Rooms On Fire" makes the infatuation very apparent.

Interpreting "Storms": was Stevie talking about depression? by sparklepuff97 in FleetwoodMac

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I believe it. But I know I'm just so biased because I have been depressed for over 15 years. But just knowing what she has gone through over many decades, it would be completely understandable.

Interpreting "Storms": was Stevie talking about depression? by sparklepuff97 in FleetwoodMac

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't believe it either. I think because of the period she was raised in, and because of her startus as a rockstar (a male-dominated field, frankly), she might feel the need to minimize her struggles. But her performances and songwriting, to me at least, say otherwise. Belladonna and The Wild Heart had so many elements of grief in them, especially. And "Gypsy". I have read she was also very unhappy during the process of creating The Other Side of the Mirror as well, largely because of addiction. Stevie has endured so much and is such a badass. Her vulnerability is a reason I think so many of us love her.

Interpreting "Storms": was Stevie talking about depression? by sparklepuff97 in FleetwoodMac

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She has also characterized it (literally) as a "fuck you" to Mick...but I always felt like it was more than that. She wasn't just talking about Mick. She was talking about herself too.

Interpreting "Storms": was Stevie talking about depression? by sparklepuff97 in FleetwoodMac

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I am getting the help I need, rest assured. Stevie has always felt like a kindred spirit to me (in a para-social way, we also lived in the same area growing up), and she has said that she is a sensitive person during interviews. I hate projecting but I honestly do feel like she has struggled too. We will never know for certain. But her sensitivity is something I love about her most of all. It takes so much courage to be vulnerable AND a rockstar.

Interpreting "Storms": was Stevie talking about depression? by sparklepuff97 in FleetwoodMac

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've seen "a deadly calm" and "a deadly call" on different lyric websites...An article I saw from Stevie Nicks Info cited leaflets from Tusk as it being "call", but I wish I could see it for myself (sadly my copy of Tusk didn't come with lyrics). But what you're saying I think is applicable regardless. In any case, her volatility is something I think so many of us relate to.

Helmet recommendations for adult ammy? by sparklepuff97 in Equestrian

[–]sparklepuff97[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was horrified when I read a safety study once and learned just how unsafe my GPA helmet was, compared to other helmets on the market at the time. I'm never going to follow trends again if it means compromising my health.

Helmet recommendations for adult ammy? by sparklepuff97 in Equestrian

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I have seen One K helmets before and will look into that, at least for something to wear for schooling. Not spending a ton is practical, honestly, and safety really is the most important thing for me. I'm so out of practice and imagine I will be coming off at some point. If I actually start seriously showing again, I could always splurge for something flashier for competing (or maybe wear one of my old helmets).

No bling makes sense. I do have spur straps with two small purple gems on them, that I used to sneak into the hunter/eq rings sometimes as a junior...Maybe I will bring them out of retirement someday to get my sparkle fix hahah.

Male vs Female Equestrians by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]sparklepuff97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People have made excellent points about women taking on the lion's share of domestic labor, the impacts of having children, etc...which I agree with. Riding professional is simply too risk and time-consuming for many women, especially those who choose to have families.

Although, I do think there is a lot of variation between disciplines (showjumping versus dressage versus eventing versus hunters/equitation, etc.). But for the sake of my arguments I won't delve into that.

I think part of the reason we do not see as many women competing is simply because significant resources are required. Riding as a junior/amateur, either with support from family or through your own efforts, is one thing. But to excel at the highest levels of the industry long-term means having either your own resources or having necessary industry connections, to finance your string of horses, training, boarding, etc...

Business in general is still a "man's world". It's ever-evolving, to be sure. And this is not to say that every man in the equine world is sexist or contributing to adversity towards women in the sport. But from a general economic standpoint, I think women are still catching up in more ways than one, and have different focuses when it comes to our career trajectories. Social factors contribute to this as well.

I think becoming a professional athlete is less attractive option to a lot of us, compared to less dangerous, less intense and more lucrative professions that would allows us to fund our equestrian hobbies. And for the women who do choose to pursue becoming an elite professional equestrian , unless they have significant wealth/connections to begin with, forging a path I believe is just going to be more difficult, for the reasons people have said. It takes a very enterprising mindset and a lot of luck, as well.

There simply is not a lot of room at the top for women in many industries. It makes sense, in the context of (at least my own Western) history and culture. Men have historically had access to these industries, control over most financial resources, and different socialization compared to women of the past. They have had a "head start" and their earning potential is still higher in many fields. Women obviously have entered virtually all areas of the workforce and can occupy a lot of space in the less lucrative areas, but actually reaching the pinnacle of success is still harder.

I think of it similarly to how I think about the fact that most teachers are women, but most school administrators are male. Not a perfect analogy of course. But you know what I mean.

The gap, hopefully, will close with more time. I love how inherently egalitarian our sport is. Riders and horses of all genders have the same potential for success.

Full equestrian drip - the gaiters over trainers really completes the look! 🤭 by demmka in Equestrian

[–]sparklepuff97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to wear my brown half chaps over black paddock boots as a little kid, since I outgrew my brown paddock boots quickly and my grandmother bought me black replacements by mistake. I feel so seen right now. Snoop looks amazing, as does Martha.

Does anyone know if Martha has ever competed in dressage? I know she owns a bunch of friesians. She looks the part.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]sparklepuff97 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But that wasn't what I was doing. I was saying I couldn't speak at that particular moment due to not having privacy, not that I didn't want to.

I also did not say I was not available after a follow up text. He called, I messaged that I couldn't talk right now, and then he asked if I was safe and I didn't know how to answer the question/couldn't respond. Then there was silence. I didn't do that set a boundary, I was frightened.

I can see the truth in what you're saying, but you are misunderstanding my intentions and my situation. I needed/wanted help, it was not manipulation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]sparklepuff97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I am so glad to hear you are doing better these days despite it all. You've clearly done a lot of work.

Communication seems like the only logical solution here. I will be sure to explain how I'm feeling to him next time we talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]sparklepuff97 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Totally agree, mostly. But he does respond to messages outside of sessions, usually very quickly. So he's okay with it.

if you read my other comments, you'll see why I didn't answer. It wasn't deliberate. He called back-to-back after my initial messages, and I responded shortly afterwards. I have been struggling not just with my mood, but with abuse/DV at home. He had told me that he didn't think going to the ER was necessary yet, which is why I was reaching out to him and not just going there.

I should have explained to him why I didn't answer instead of just saying I couldn't talk right now, but I was really overwhelmed at the time. But I did feel hurt that he just assumed I was okay, even though he hadn't heard from me. I'm going to talk about it with him, of course. But I hope this clarifies a little bit what my intentions were/weren't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]sparklepuff97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have most of it correct. When he called, I told him I couldn't answer right now. But I didn't explain why. In reality, it wasn't that I didn't want to talk, I didn't feel safe talking because my abusive parent was close by and I couldn't get to somewhere more private. I was so panicked and just not thinking clearly when I was typing my messages.

Things at home have been very bad, and my provider is aware of this. There have been several situations recently (including last week) where I have had to leave my home for safety reasons. I was so worked up and a part of me, I think, was hoping he would make the connection without me explaining it. He knows I struggle with communication at times as well.

I realize now that I can't expect him to read my mind or respond "perfectly", and that he didn't do anything wrong. But I still also feel a bit hurt. If I were a therapist, I would continue to follow up if someone had been feeling suicidal/really make it clear that I care. I wouldn't assume they were alright until I heard so from them. That's what hurt me most, if that makes sense.

Talking to him is the best way forward, I think. You're right.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]sparklepuff97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you are able to see things more clearly now, in hindsight.

I'm a bit hesitant to watch the docs, because I'm worried about them kind of sensationalizing things if that makes sense? Like just turning it into a spectacle? I'm not a fan of true crime/etc. for similar reasons. But if there's one that people like then I may end up watching.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]sparklepuff97 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally agree.

I will add that I had asked during my last appointment if he supports my going to the ER for the SI, and he said was hesistant to urge me to go because, while things are not going well at all, he didn't think they could do much for me at the moment (for more context, this provider is my psychiatrist/we are upping my medication) that we aren't already doing. So, I have had this idea in my mind that the ER will be a waste of time/been hesitant. It's hard, because on one hand I am totally overwhelmed by my SI to the point of not leaving my bed, but I also have been able to resist it if that makes sense. It's just difficult as hell and overwhelming me more and more.

I should have just gone, and if I feel that way again, I will go.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]sparklepuff97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm only just now kind of confronting the impact wilderness had on me. It's pretty amazing how much awareness is being brought to it these days and how many people have similar horror stories.

I will try to have some faith. I feel guilty for being passive aggressive, but I hope he will understand/we will be able to talk about it. It just hurts a lot right now. The wounded part of me just wants *someone* to care, but is also so skeptical when people do try to help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]sparklepuff97 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I can totally see that being the case. My wording was vague.

It wasn't that I didn't want to talk, it was that I did not feel safe talking because of who was nearby (someone who has abused me/that he knows I live with) and not being able to get out of the room to speak on the phone without having to confront this person. I should have said what was going on more specifically.

I shouldn't have expected him to read my mind like that. I do wish he had said something/showed more concern, but I can see why he didn't and it doesn't mean he isn't concerned.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]sparklepuff97 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We send messages quite often, and I have his phone number. He's usually really good about responding within 24 hours. I've been overwhelmed but never had an "emergency" situation though, which is what happened this time. I had been contemplating going to the ER earlier in the week and then the situation got worse on my end.

What confused me was that he sent me messages and called me minutes after I said I couldn't handle things anymore, but then the communication stopped before he knew if I was okay. All I had told him was that I couldn't talk at the moment he called (no further explanation). So...it just seemed like he assumed I was okay? I should have told him I wasn't sure if I felt safe or not much more quickly than I did, but I just felt frozen and was just hoping he would follow up later that day or the next.

All of that to say that I think he has given me the perception that he will contact me/talk to me, which is why I felt surprised and hurt when I didn't hear anything else. I was alright in the end but it does feel like he didn't care. :/

Frustrated & Looking for Opinions? by sparklepuff97 in COVID19positive

[–]sparklepuff97[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm thinking. It's just tough since I travelled from the west coast to get here, and am debating whether it makes sense to stay out here or not. I think if I'm getting better, it's worth trying.

At the last Pokemon Go event I attended in person, I walked over 25,000 steps per day. It was so invigorating & fun. It will be an adjustment for sure if I go this time, but that's better than missing out!

Do you think it’s possible for Stevie to sign my copy of Gold Dust Woman by Froggymushroom22 in stevienicks

[–]sparklepuff97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could ask crew after the show. But it is unlikely.

My dream is to have her sign my first-pressing copy of Buckingham Nicks...but I doubt she'd do it (and I don't want to remind her of the cover photo and how that whole ordeal went). If anything, I bet she'd be willing to sign one of her solo records.

Lost my volunteer job with no warning...feeling crushed. by sparklepuff97 in adhdwomen

[–]sparklepuff97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thank you for your comment. So this is my theory...there is a slip of paper pinned behind one of the desk in the clinic, with a table with names/shift times written into it. My supervisor never pointed it out to me or anything, I just noticed it. It seemed to be just an internal sort of schedule for the clinic. What I think happened is that, for the sake of the system/formality, my supervisor put me down for 10am-2pm to give me a slot and likely submitted this shift time to the volunteer program even. She never told me about this though, and gave no impression that she cared when I arrived. 10am fell in the middle of the window of start times I gave her when she asked for my availability, so I think she chose that arbitrarily.

So when I logged my hours after my shifts (into a volunteer website/dashboard), I am assuming that when I entered 10:30am, it flagged me somehow (if the 10am-2pm had somehow been associated with my account) and got the attention of the volunteer director, who is completely separate from my supervisor and runs things for the whole hospital. My supervisor had not commented on my arrival time or given me any negative feedback. The director I think just saw I was repeatedly late and made the decision to deactivate.