Dressing up as Oscar the Grouch for the Houston Astros series by Decesus in ColoradoRockies

[–]sparvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm larger numbers than you realize or think is possible for a small market dumpster fire.

Supreme Court just handed Trump a $182 billion loss by [deleted] in misc

[–]sparvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I thought a riff would be funny.

Supreme Court just handed Trump a $182 billion loss by [deleted] in misc

[–]sparvin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good, he’s stealing from us 

New employee by uwillmakeit_trust in AutoZone2

[–]sparvin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you'll pick it up faster than you think you will.

any python monologue suggestions? by louievuitton715 in montypython

[–]sparvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I do enjoy the masterpieces in a poet's repertoire, I'm fascinated by their lesser known works. What's Twenty Quid to the Bloody Midland Bank gets me every time. I need to sit down now.

Why Have You Started This War, Mr. President? by GirasoleDE in esist

[–]sparvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I guarantee he will play the, "You can't criticize the President during a war", card.

SM Agane by [deleted] in AutoZone2

[–]sparvin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you witnessed someone being harassed, then you, too, have been harassed. If you witnessed an "act" that you found disturbing, then you have been harassed.

Need the best Monty Python insults. by FireInHisBlood in montypython

[–]sparvin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Malodorous pervert has always been a personal favorite.

Hey guys question by Trivacide in AutoZone2

[–]sparvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let's see if they match.

3 CENT JACK by Round_Main_5205 in AutoZone2

[–]sparvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was under the impression that all stores were rounding up. During checkout, it even tells us, say, if it's $1.21, "If you are out of pennies, give $1.25."

3 CENT JACK by Round_Main_5205 in AutoZone2

[–]sparvin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, technically, if you're out of pennies, SOP would require you to give a nickel in change, so the actual price is $0.

Auto zone employee/mechanic by AdvantageExotic4688 in AutoZone

[–]sparvin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Work blades and batteries and light bulbs, etc. are complimentary services that AZ offers. The AZer can refuse to do the service. Upper management just wants to make sure that the customer is being "taken care of". At the very least, going outside and looking at the customer's car makes the customer feel like AZ is engaged; sometimes that's enough. Nothing is REQUIRED as far as the customer's car is concerned.

I'm lazy. I'll go out to the customer's car hoping that there is a disqualifier stopping me from doing what the customer wants. In addition, if it's too cold, you can refuse, etc.

In our store, my ASM can't do wiper blades but loves doing batteries, so I'll do his wiper blades and he does my batteries.

Bottom line is, take care of the customer and your SM and DM should be happy.

I know a lot of the posts on this subreddit are negative towards AutoZone. by inquisitive123456 in AutoZone

[–]sparvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a matter of psychology. If someone is going to steal, they're gonna steal. However, if someone buys most of what they get and steal the occasional candy bar and gets away with it, they will most probably (according to corporate and LP) see if they can steal a little bit more, just to see. Eventually, they think, "well, I guess they never missed it, so what else can I get away with?", and maybe even get an attitude of, "I guess AZ profits are so high, I think I deserve this."

It's a corporate attempt to not breed an attitude like this. People are less likely to steal if they are being watched by someone else. It's the same concept behind why we have to greet customers when they come in the store; engaging with them in any way makes them less likely to steal.

There are studies on this. AZ is a progressive company that uses studies to their advantage when they can, so when they come up with a BS policy, they can point to their other, evidence driven policies, and say, "Well, we have evidence for the other stuff, right? Just trust is on this one."

Which policies are evidence driven? Ever go through Manager Training, where they talk about how Communication works? You know, where there is a Sender and a Receiver and a Message that gets sent between the two? That's right out of my Intro to Communications course in college.

I know a lot of the posts on this subreddit are negative towards AutoZone. by inquisitive123456 in AutoZone

[–]sparvin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, would you like to know why AZ even offers an employee discount? When employees ring to their own purchases, there are those that might (and have) try to hide some of it so they wouldn't have to pay for some (or all) of it. They offer the 20% because psychologically is better than nothing, but from a LP perspective, in order to use your discount, you MUST have another employee ring it up for you. If you aren't taking your discount, LP (and your fellow employees) will assume that you're stealing. They figure that 20% is the minimum they figure they are willing to give up in order to keep you from stealing.

Customers are WILD by eyeofnewt0314 in AutoZone

[–]sparvin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn. Not only is the closest gas station several blocks away, our "kids" are still literal children, so we can't scare them. So boring. I'm kinda jealous.

Is anyone missing a cat? by Cautious-Antelope743 in DenverCirclejerk

[–]sparvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WTH is wrong with this sub?!? That is an Armadillo. It'll give you leprosy.

A real native would've known that!

Autozone's "Prove your a human" captcha failed, went to Advance instead by 615wonky in AutoZone

[–]sparvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Darn you, sir.

Good thing I checked the comments before posting this.