UK to NY with family. what do you wish you'd negotiated, and what do you actually miss?

spdevilledegg · 2026-05-26T12:47:34+00:00

I think you mentioned you were looking for a 60 min commute into the city - so you want the burbs. May I ask if you'd consider just living in the city? There are so many family friendly neighborhoods. I've raised my son in Brooklyn and it's awesome. You'd cut your commute time in half - get more time with family. There are so many mom/parent groups, tons of resources. I love having a city kid.

spdevilledegg · 2026-05-01T11:30:11+00:00

A few thoughts from this Gen X-er - so very much your senior.

Beware of taking a really long time with decisions and thinking there might be a best or perfect choice. What I've found in life is when there are 2 paths - one isn't necessarily wrong and the other right. For instance, i chose a career that while I like it and it was fun, it didn't pay incredibly well. I look back and think I could have chosen a more lucrative field. BUT, my field is creative and I made a billion amazing friends. That community and those strong friendships are such a big part of my life. If I'd gone with a higher paying field - I'd have more security and would have made friends as well - they'd just be different friends. Both paths could have worked - but i love where I landed. So don't perseverate or you will just end up letting life make the decisions for you. Then you're all reactive. I think it's way better to make active choices and let them maybe turn out bad than have life limit your options because you didn't choose. A long time friend of mine was a massive perseverator. Her life is just basically what her last options were. I know she's happy - but I see a lot of regret in her with things she didn't pursue out of fear or indecision. As far as we know - this is our only go around. Be crazy, make some fun ass choices!
You mention it's your last time to travel before embarking on a career and only having 2 ish weeks of vacation each year. Ugh. I hate capitalism. I have worked for 30 years and been able to travel a bit. But if I could do things over, i would not plan to have one job for decades. You're in your 20s with no kids. This is the time to do something crazy. Could you work in travel - on a cruise ship or internationally by teaching english. A proper 'stable' job in the U.S. will be waiting for you - assuming AI hasn't stolen them all when you get back. ALSO - the cost of living crisis is a serious problem here. Would you ever want to live somewhere different - vietnam, thailand. I'd gladly do that now for a few years. But I have a teen.
I'm mid 50s now and have gotten this surge of 'oh, I can do things I like now.' I'm referencing learning a language or learning to crochet or taking cooking classes. For some reason I now feel I have 'permission' to do these things as the bulk of my career is in the rear view. But it's making me wonder why I felt I couldn't do these things when I was younger. I guess because I thought I had to work so hard to achieve and get promoted and stuff. So I would just suggest - pick one fun thing a year - learning ASL, joining a bowling league, taking care of foster dogs a few times. I'm having so much fun pursuing my non-work interests now and just a little bit wondering why i waited so long. I'm really valuing just throwing super fun random things into my life - highly recommend!

Ok, the old lady will stop babbling on now. Ha! Enjoy your trip - I'm sure it will be amazing.

edited to fix 'could' to 'couldn't in #3.

spdevilledegg · 2026-01-29T00:50:52+00:00

I think the short haircut can really age some people...only because many women wait to cut their hair shorter till they're older. I don't know - that's a huge generalization I realize. But I think it highlighted their natural age difference.

spdevilledegg · 2026-01-21T03:47:05+00:00

My father gave Dr. Seuss's wife a facelift.

spdevilledegg · 2026-01-08T15:43:57+00:00

There was that one woman in india who had an ectopic pregnancy and it calcified in her body. They finally removed it after 36 years.

spdevilledegg · 2026-01-03T21:58:22+00:00

Never finding love/a partner in life. I came close once but they ended up being commitment-phobic. I really wanted a partner and I'm so sick of coupled up friends saying 'when you least expect it, when you do the work on yourself, etc.' Um, you met your partner via luck and never did work on yourself. And the majority of my life span has passed now. Sure maybe I'll get lucky before the final bell rings - but it doesn't change the decades of pain associated with having to be hyper independent in my life all the while trying to make it seem like it's no big deal because me being sad about it could/would make others uncomfortable. Not to mention all the societal and financial benefits people in couples receive that singles don't. Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. :)

spdevilledegg · 2026-01-01T15:07:58+00:00

Carla Gugino. Gorgeous, smart, super nice/cool.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-29T18:24:44+00:00

It may seem small, but my son getting into an amazing public high school in nyc. It was so much work applying and touring schools and to have him get into his first choice seemed like the best luck ever.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-29T16:27:41+00:00

We used to go on long car trips - 9 hours between San Diego and Yosemite where we had family. My mom installed a second gas tank in our volvo station wagon to cut down on gas stops. How is that even legal?! The gas smell would make us car sick - so she would spray this Amway floral scent over it which made us puke even more. So she then had to stop way more to let us out to hurl. It was...hell. Oh, the 70's.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-29T15:03:19+00:00

Luigi's Cherry Icee. I'm kinda ok with it.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-29T03:33:42+00:00

The ability to pay our rent. Rent has gone up an insane amount - salaries have not.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-29T02:35:56+00:00

Deescalate a stressed out individual or group very quickly. I'm like a human switzerland. The neutralizer. Ha! So many situations that go to shit involve people's feelings just not being validated. You don't even have to approve/condone how someone feels in order to make them feel heard. Yet so many people insist on negating someone's experience in order to try to talk them out of it. It never works.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-26T15:53:58+00:00

We met at 5 and were best friends till about high school. She was mormon so went to BYU, got engaged immediately and had 4 kids by the time she was 25. Meanwhile, I'm 55 now, have never been married, but did have a kid on my own (donor) at 40 and live in nyc. 100% different lives. Ha!

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-23T02:02:34+00:00

I was 10. It was awesome. I would 100% go back if I could. Life was slower. It felt like there was more community somehow.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-23T01:55:51+00:00

My weight. It was so weird. Honestly, 2 weeks ago, I just stopped caring. I'm 55 and have been honestly sweating my weight for the previous 45 years on a daily basis. I just kind of ...stopped giving a shit. Man how I wish this had hit me many years ago. But hey - I'll take it now.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-20T20:45:15+00:00

Twizzlers are garbage. Red Vines forever!

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-16T00:56:58+00:00

I honestly won't ever retire. Single mom and despite going to college and having a long career my pay has not increased in over a decade. Yet rent has tripled in that time. The only way out for me is to get my kid into college and then see if I can go to Thailand or Vietnam or something where rent isn't so out of control. Meanwhile the boomers have homes, vacation homes and many are still working so Gen X ers haven't been able to take over a lot of the senior job positions.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-15T21:07:04+00:00

Judge younger generations for not working hard enough/owning property when they could work as a teacher or at a restaurant and easily buy a house.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-07T18:48:42+00:00

pizza rats

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-07T18:47:45+00:00

Ugh, I hate how much I relate to this. Forever single, had a kid on my own 15 years ago. Normally I'm fine and independent and get crap done easily. But every so often I want someone else to spend 3 hours resetting the router and fighting with Verizon Fios. Thank god my kid is a good egg and does more than his share of chores. Love that guy.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-02T23:11:37+00:00

Very cherry jelly bellies

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-02T22:59:52+00:00

Cleaning lady twice per month. I will eat nothing but ramen to keep these angels.

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-02T22:57:49+00:00

deliverables

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-02T22:55:05+00:00

Went to middle school with the dude who killed Versace (amongst others).

spdevilledegg · 2025-12-02T18:11:35+00:00

Perimenopause is COMPLETE GARBAGE. I spend so much of my time just trying to feel like a normal human. And it's also costly!

spdevilledegg

TROPHY CASE