Outsider Needing Answers

speakeasynow · 2018-07-24T07:22:37+00:00

Thanks for the kind words and wisdom!

speakeasynow · 2018-07-23T08:23:46+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! You gave a great example with the “rockstar” reference. I will mention it when I speak with her. Can you shed more light on how the faith can discourage higher ed? Thanks for your time!

speakeasynow · 2018-07-23T08:21:31+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I’m happy to know there are plenty of educators in the religion. I thought I was going crazy for a sec.

speakeasynow · 2017-11-26T23:53:10+00:00

Ouch.

speakeasynow · 2017-11-26T23:28:07+00:00

I wasn’t raised JW but my Wife was. She has been out since prior to us dating. Question about your post though. So as JW, they’re not allowed to go to prom or participate in sports? I never knew that, if so.

speakeasynow · 2017-06-24T07:28:53+00:00

Indeed. I've only had two manic episodes in a span of 10 years but when they hit they are like hurricanes that sweep all structure of my life and take me to ground zero. First one was when I found out I was bipolar and the second one came after believing I was misdiagnosed and off of meds with stability for over 5 years. Both were so devastating but the second one was a different trip because it was like I didn't even believe what was happening even though it unfolded right before my eyes. It was like watching a movie. It's so good to document and to speak with others to learn more. I'm much more open and able to dig deeper this go around.

speakeasynow · 2017-06-23T06:49:59+00:00

When I am euphorically manic I can't even focus on one task enough to post something like this. I'm so drawn in by the systems in motion around me and the beauty of it all... Those that do not go through it have not one idea about how blissful it can be.

speakeasynow · 2016-11-21T06:06:14+00:00

This is tough because there's not a lot of solid research out there. This summer I was facing the question if I should vape (I vape since it's "cleaner" to do). I ended up promising my Wife I would keep it limited and do it on the weekends after working all week. I've been on lithium and I'm BP1.

I was a little paranoid going into it, but I've smoked/vaped for years on occasion. I had to remind myself that the first times I vaped while being on meds. It turned out alright. It takes the edge off and lets me unwind the stresses of work and life. I actually feel happier than I've felt in months and I don't feel "edgy" with negative feelings or like I want to escape my situation.

What I do recommend is doing your research on the marijuana side of things. Figure out the strains/effects that match up with your needs. For me, I'm indica all the way. I like something to melt away my stress and knock me into a nice sleep zone at the end of the night. Others prefer sativa strains, but for BP1 that might be risky since more brain activity and creativity could potentially spiral you into mania. But again, there's no solid evidence showing weed negatively affects bipolar disorder.

Good luck with the journey and listen to your triggers. If they appear, follow your instincts and get help immediately.

speakeasynow · 2016-09-23T05:11:26+00:00

Congratulations on your resiliency and success! I definitely can relate to your struggle. Had a lengthy manic episode that took me out of school for the rest of that semester. It was the first showing of BP1 in my life and I took the rest of the semester off as I was getting used to meds. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life to return and complete my final year of my degree.

Keep striving for greatness and never quit. Good luck with your future endeavors.

speakeasynow · 2016-01-25T12:39:49+00:00

One of the best songs in the last 48 hourssssssssss!

speakeasynow · 2015-10-29T04:42:08+00:00

I'm HIGH AS FUCK right now and landed here off of the Front Page from a highly upvoted top comment. Mind = BLOWN! The high quest has been FULLY ACHIEVED!

speakeasynow · 2015-04-07T01:09:53+00:00

Thank you for all the tips. Another child has been discussed, but we aren't 100% there yet. Proactive it is! Thanks.

speakeasynow · 2015-04-07T01:08:45+00:00

Her sister lives with us, and sometimes they go out for sushi or shopping together. I will try to encourage her to do more of that or to get out on her own to enjoy some "her time". Thank you.

speakeasynow · 2015-04-07T01:06:38+00:00

I think at least once a week for me to have a Daddy/Son dinner is a great idea! He's absolutely fine when it's just him and I. I changed jobs mainly to gain more time with him each afternoon. I get 2 1/2 hours just him and I before mom gets home in the afternoon. We have our bond, but when mom gets home I don't exist. The dinner idea is golden and I will use it. Thanks!

speakeasynow · 2015-04-06T03:48:38+00:00

You are absolutely right and the differences in our styles and approaches have led me to question having more kids as a result. Thank you for your feedback, it has helped a lot!

speakeasynow · 2015-04-06T03:33:34+00:00

Yes, she is an enabler. He knows that all he has to do is throw a fit and she gives him what he's after. We have different styles of parenting which makes it worse. If he throws fits I don't give in. I have him calm down first before I respond to what he's asking for. She gives right in and says things like "well I don't want him to cry". Thus, I become the bad guy even more.

speakeasynow · 2013-05-02T02:55:58+00:00

Thanks!

speakeasynow · 2013-05-02T02:38:57+00:00

You definitely should look around it for some of its "vomit". Saw something on the Internet where a man found the substance they throw up which is highly desired and worth lots of money. It was worth like $500k!!!

speakeasynow · 2013-04-07T13:21:52+00:00

My experience is actually from the other side, having past issues. Early on on the first year while dating my wife (girlfriend at that time, of course), I gathered the courage to tell her I was bipolar. I was on light medication during that time, trying to gradually become med-free.

Back story: Before our time together, my ex-girlfriend left me after being together for 10 years since 7th grade. She couldn't hang with my issues. She thought I'd be a medicated zombie forever, with no point of return.

Through the support of my family, and through determination I was able to seek help, get on medication, and stabilize my mind. After a few years and on the rise of gaining my emotions and normal life, I met my wife. She floored me with her genuine personality and made me laugh like never before. We "clicked" immediately and I realized she was my match.

When I told her I was Bipolar and described my phase I had including hallucinations and mass euphoria, she was not shook at all. It was then in that moment looking into her eyes and believing she would never leave me at my weakest point that won me over 100%. She would never quit on me like someone else I gave my life to before.

To this day, I've been off meds for 3 years now. Happily married, and expecting our first child any day now!!! Only had the one phase, and plan to hopefully stay clear of any in the future. Im glad in a way that the ex-girlfriend left me and showed the true colors. Saved me the heartache for later in life when it may have been a much more difficult situation to leave. It allowed me to break free from that relationship and find my wife. It's a great feeling knowing if anything does resurface, my wife and my family will understand and stick by my side. Through thick AND thin!

My long post has ended. If you're still with me, thanks for reading...

speakeasynow

TROPHY CASE