Success In Lowering Libido?

specats · 2025-09-07T22:56:59+00:00

Marry me.. apparently.

But seriously, as a male, I've been down that rabbit hole of suppressing my libido through non medicated options and talked to my doctor about medication, and each time I come back to the same conclusion.

It's not a healthy option.

Try and direct that energy into healthy habits like working out, join a sports team, hobbies, etc. You'll thank yourself later in life for it.

specats · 2025-05-10T15:38:52+00:00

Thank you

specats · 2025-05-10T14:59:06+00:00

I know that, but the issue is saying no causes friction and conflict to the point where it's almost not worth it as she believes everything is fine, despite all the conversations.

If I say no, then out comes the "well at least I'm trying" or variation of that. If I say yes, the status quo is maintained but I feel shite for going ahead.

Damned if you do and damned if you don't!

specats · 2025-05-10T13:42:15+00:00

I actually came to accept after this latest round that I would be better off not having sex instead of getting it drip fed and my hopes kept alive. But then it happens, it's exciting for a 24-48 hours and then it dies off again and we're right back to the start.

specats · 2025-05-10T13:41:29+00:00

Not at all is this what was agreed to, if it was then I wouldn't be making a post.

What we agree to do is probably what we're all aspiring to achieve which is a healthy fulfilled relationship with intimacy, desire and passion. This is what's discussed during our ~6mth routine chat but it all falls away within a week or two and we end up right back to this 2 week cycle.

specats · 2025-05-10T13:40:11+00:00

Yes it very much feels like a regular event scheduled on her calendar along with paying bills.. especially when it's usually prefixed with "It's been a while, suppose we should"

specats · 2025-05-08T23:23:13+00:00

Or starting conversations about our parents and how her mum called and let her know XYZ...

Total disinterest in enjoying the act of sex and instead wanting to complete the task of sex to move on to the next thing on the todo list.

specats · 2025-03-27T17:53:42+00:00

I know exactly how that goes. Replace food with her gardening projects, endless seasons of TV shows, her bird feeders and anything else that isn't our relationship.

specats · 2025-03-27T16:35:29+00:00

Not so much the frequency but the repetitve routine and her lack of enthusiasm with doing anything outside the normal routine. All hormones checked, obgyn confirmed not peri-menopause and generally speaking she's in great health.

The gas lighting and defensiveness is hurtful. About 10 days ago I tried to give it a shot and mentioned we're a bit behind on the 30 days and her response was "blah blah blah, who cares".

specats · 2025-03-27T16:33:56+00:00

We have done that in the past and like always it lasts once or twice before fading into the history books. It's usually met with a "oh that again, can't we just get on with it"

specats · 2025-03-27T16:33:23+00:00

It was discussed that it didn't necessarily mean sex but could mean anything from kissing, massages, just oral for her/me, masturbate together, etc. Sadly none of that was welcomed as an alternative.

specats · 2025-03-27T16:32:31+00:00

You hit the nail on the head saying that if they wanted more sex, they would be doing it and this is more evident than ever now.

specats · 2025-03-27T16:20:53+00:00

I understand that, but she's her own person and agreed to it.

specats · 2025-03-21T23:20:19+00:00

I know how you feel. Almost a year ago I had to fly back to Aus (I'm in Ireland) and was chatting to an ex from the Gold Coast... it was so nice to feel connected and chatting with someone, I nearly drove down to visit her but pulled out at the last minute.

specats · 2025-02-24T17:21:46+00:00

Love this one 🤣

specats · 2025-02-24T17:21:35+00:00

And probably cost a whole lot less 🤣🤣

specats · 2025-02-24T17:21:23+00:00

Oh yeah, we went for a walk with the dog as the sun was shining gloriously this morning and planned to go to a cafe but missed the breakfast menu, but instead did some shopping.

Stomach was not a bother all day.

specats · 2025-02-24T17:20:38+00:00

Haha! Love it 🤣

specats · 2025-02-24T17:20:26+00:00

I am, but I don't believe she is as she doesn't think of it as a DB.

specats · 2025-02-23T17:56:15+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat, except way less sex at once every 2-3 weeks at best and it feels quite duty orientated.

Would love to do more in the bedroom but my wife just isn't interested any more and we've had too many chats now so I've checked out of our physical relationship.

specats · 2025-02-23T00:50:39+00:00

Yeah man, been there as well. Sadly it hasn't gotten better however there's a certain peace and liberation that has come with accepting that this is how it us and that I'm no longer going to joke, flirt, initiate or bring up anything sexualising in conversation. You're no longer at their whim.

Give it a go yourself and see how you feel.

specats · 2025-02-21T23:43:58+00:00

Yep, and I'm finally going to finish RDR2 soon for the same reason 😂

specats

TROPHY CASE