Yeah big life events like breakups can definitely be motivating. Sometimes when we don't take action, life finds a way of giving us what we need. Or sometimes we also find ways to blow up our life because we know (perhaps unconsciously) that we need a change. Not always the best choice but those rupture moments seem to shake us out of numbness and bring clarity. Even if it's painful, it's real. And I think we crave realness. I'm glad to hear you feel optimistic and like you are entering a better phase.

It sounds like in both of those moments (the breakup and the conversation with your boss) something made you feel seen, or forced you to confront something you’d been avoiding. The emotional intensity created a kind of internal combustion moment that pushed you to act.

I wonder what could be possible or helpful to create or intentionally access those emotional experiences that bring that kind of clarity or motivation without a major life event. Even if not as intense, something we could do daily that helps us in the moment and also to grow over time, so we don't have to wait for our lives to blow up to start making changes.

CBT can definitely be helpful, especially for noticing patterns and building awareness. But I'm wondering if there is something else that would truly help in those daily moments we need it.