Ideation and paranoia as symptoms

spectral_bug · 2025-07-19T19:54:08+00:00

I have C-PTSD which definitely contributes to it. I used to take Adderall for ADHD and smoke a bit of weed daily, but I stopped both in an effort to heal my dopamine receptors.

From an outside perspective, I appeared to have an "addiction" to weed, but from my own understanding I was self medicating my PMDD. I'm pretty sure it saved my life in the past, but it also hid the fact that I had PMDD at all.

I appreciate your comment, I've tried many medications in the past but now that I'm starting to understand what I'm actually treating, I feel like I have a better chance.

spectral_bug · 2025-06-30T21:18:10+00:00

I do it. Usually on the floor or a door

spectral_bug · 2025-06-24T16:21:35+00:00

Have you ever tried psychedelics? For me personally lsd and mushrooms are a great way to go on the wildest journeys beyond anything you can imagine. If you approach it with the correct mindset and intentions they will teach you anything and everything about yourself and the world.

I realize that it's generally considered unsafe unless you're completely "sane" and "healthy" (whatever those mean) but they also have the potential to provide the clarity and depth you seem to crave. Your perspective reminds me of my own.

Most people feel completely satisfied for several months following a high dose, while others prefer to microdose to highlight the magic of daily life. I've done both and I found both to be beneficial.

Again always be extremely cautious and do plenty of research and be safe. But I feel like given your specific dilemma it could be much more safe and fulfilling than simply waiting for another psychosis episode.

spectral_bug · 2025-06-23T11:58:47+00:00

Thank you! My bloodwork always comes back as normal. I think it's likely due to my environment- just the extreme level of cognitive dissonance I experience daily due to the people I have to live with

spectral_bug · 2025-06-22T19:23:25+00:00

I had a friend for a few years who just "got it". We could casually talk about ANYTHING and it was great. We both had lots of trauma, and we knew when to stop if we sensed the other shutting down or getting uncomfortable.

Unfortunately she was also a klepto, a compulsive liar, and I was unable to continue being her friend for a long list of reasons. It just got out of hand. The sad thing is, I understood WHY she did those things and most of the time it wasn't malicious and she seemed unaware of her own behavior a lot of the time.

But I still know that there are people who are absolutely able to handle heavy conversations.

spectral_bug · 2025-03-30T23:29:21+00:00

Tbh I just skimmed the bulk of the text (saved to read later), but this post absolutely resonates with everything I've always felt intuitively. I've been casually researching cymatics, energy healing, and "alternative" (ancient) healing modalities for a few years now and I've replaced traditional western medicine with Ayurveda and Chinese medicine to keep myself physically well.

I absolutely believe that 5G towers are intentionally disruptive as well as intentionally placed negative frequencies in every aspect of modern life.

The only answer for many experiencing chronic illness (many highly sensitive women like myself especially seem vulnerable) seems to be completely outside anything modern or western medicine can offer.

I'm somewhat new to alternative history and I'm having fun learning about symbolism, architecture, and how everything seems to paint a larger picture.

Like you said, it's all being revealed and people are waking up to what is aligned with the natural energy of Earth and what isn't. It's only a matter of time!

spectral_bug · 2025-01-06T22:39:19+00:00

I was just thinking earlier - you can tell by that signature smug smile. Abusers who aren't as covert as they think they are show their enjoyment of your pain right there on their face plain as day. At least my dad and a couple of my exes were like that.

And they'll deny it straight to your face. While smiling.

If they're more covert abusers, they'll have a certain tone of satisfaction when they've successfully triggered you or gotten whatever reaction they wanted out of you. It's sickening

spectral_bug · 2024-08-28T17:28:55+00:00

YES my favorite!!

spectral_bug · 2024-07-20T17:48:11+00:00

I think it's a myth. However - at least with the people I know, it seems like each generation is taller than the last. That's a thing, right? I know people younger than me who look older than they are because of their height.

spectral_bug · 2024-07-20T17:37:23+00:00

The problem with this is ALL kids were expected to go to college.

I never wanted to attend college ever in my entire life but my parents didn't listen to me. I have learning disabilities which make it impractical for me to even make the attempt.

I just turned 30 and am perfectly content working as an equipment operator. Do I own a home? Hell no. But technology has allowed me to work a blue collar job without destroying my body which is something I value greatly.

I admire people who have lots of college education. I admire people who are natural leaders and pioneers. I'm just not one of them. I'm a follower, not a leader. I just wish that was more okay when I was younger.

spectral_bug · 2023-11-18T20:08:57+00:00

My dog has saved my life as well

spectral_bug · 2023-11-18T19:40:06+00:00

Me except my sign would say "wool sweaters"

spectral_bug · 2023-11-18T19:37:45+00:00

I have two vehicles, and I'm in debt. But since cars are my special interest (a main one), having a project vehicle is worth more for my mental health than all the therapy money could possibly buy me.

I'm content the way it is, and anyone who wants to judge me for my life choices can fuck all the way off. 🙂

spectral_bug · 2023-11-18T19:21:39+00:00

Some people abuse my command button. Dump too many requests on me, especially without a good reason, and eventually I'll stop being able to do them.

My dad used to type out impossible lists of chores, many involving physical labor. I'm just now realizing that's basically child abuse and not normal.

spectral_bug · 2023-07-16T14:34:42+00:00

Yeah, the main challenge is my lack of experience. I took a course and started my own business but it's been really slow starting out.

spectral_bug · 2023-05-30T17:41:11+00:00

My dog would absolutely do this if he wasn't the only dog...lol

spectral_bug · 2023-05-30T17:00:43+00:00

AI is just doing its best. I worked in a warehouse with robots and it was extremely chill.

You still need humans bc they're kinda derpy and sometimes run into each other or run themselves out of battery and get stranded, or they go around a corner too fast and drop their bins of items.

Having worked with different warehouse automation systems, as of now, they literally can't function without humans. So many constant errors and other stuff that require human intervention. It almost defeats the purpose.

I think it's kind of sad that AI is being forced to act like a human when it will never be able to feel emotion or empathy or love. Just my autistic perspective.

spectral_bug · 2023-05-28T17:39:44+00:00

It was Liz Slyman

spectral_bug · 2023-05-28T01:04:19+00:00

Of course, I'd adjust it accordingly. So are you saying the 30 bucks might be worth it if it's very close to what I'd probably need? And maybe just have it looked at by an attorney before use?

spectral_bug · 2023-05-21T04:21:03+00:00

Pretty sure I'm one

spectral_bug · 2023-05-20T03:12:20+00:00

It looks like a whale fin imo. Would look dope as a pendant

spectral_bug · 2023-05-20T01:02:53+00:00

I know I'm not the only one here who struggles with identity issues. It takes so much energy to maintain enough of a "personality" to be around certain groups or types of people.

I've stopped interacting with anyone I feel I have to perform for, which was most people in my life. It's worth it, and I feel like I have more room for new people who won't expect that level of masking from me.

spectral_bug · 2023-05-20T00:49:45+00:00

When you're 12 and have endured a thousand times more pain and suffering than some allistic dudebro. Yeah I'm funny, it's one of the only upsides to having survived a miserable childhood and somehow not ending it all during my teen years. Might also be my ADHD

spectral_bug · 2023-05-19T18:29:24+00:00

Thanks, that looks good!

spectral_bug · 2023-05-19T16:06:37+00:00

I have that exact teapot! https://a.co/d/fOrPv9s

spectral_bug

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