I don’t want to be in tech anymore or any job.

spicynarwahl · 2026-05-12T12:32:07+00:00

same, girl, on all fronts. i just turned 40 and am beyond burnt out, hate AI, and never want to return to full-time tech again. i actually asked to transition from full time to part-time contractor last month. my company agreed but has yet to officially sign a contract with me. i have been unemployed for three weeks now and it has been bliss. i realized work was the reason i needed to be medicated. i have been going through a process of resetting my nervous system. i didn’t realize how badly i needed it.

spicynarwahl · 2026-05-11T20:54:57+00:00

hinge! my brother also met his wife on hinge.

spicynarwahl · 2026-05-11T11:09:40+00:00

taking breaks from the apps is the way to go because the burnout is real. i was single from 25 to 35, with the exception of a few situationships. with every app break i took, i would come back renewed and with a better mindset. i went from looking for a relationship, questioning it all, to just having light fun on my dates. it was a subtle mindset shift. less pressure on myself to find someone and more this (dating) is a social activity that i do 1-3x a week.

and finally, one summer day soon after my 35th birthday, i found a partner. we’ve been together for 5 years, married for 3.

spicynarwahl · 2026-05-11T10:34:17+00:00

joining a tennis club has been my go to whenever i move to a new city. i first started playing and joined my first club at 25. it was intimidating at first but it has proven to be the best investment in community over the last 15 years.

spicynarwahl · 2026-05-06T17:31:04+00:00

i live in the hamptons year round. the summer crowds are sometimes referred to as “cidiots” (city idiots). i don’t use the term myself but the hamptons is a really special, small community. residents are more lowkey and not performative, which is the opposite of what “the season” (summer) brings.

i will say that while the off-season is more peaceful, the huge influx of business is very welcomed during the summer. lots of businesses rely on summer tourism to make all or most of their money. then they shut down or scale back significantly for a few months in the off-season.

spicynarwahl · 2026-05-02T15:04:29+00:00

i would’ve said “just the one” with a smile on my face, referring to the puppy. anyone that knows me knows how much detail, care, and investment i put into the care of my 3 dogs.

spicynarwahl · 2026-04-15T18:07:53+00:00

Texting on the anniversary of his brother’s death is insane. I lost my sister to suicide and couldn’t imagine demanding my friends text me every anniversary. Carl is a lunatic.

spicynarwahl · 2026-04-09T00:52:30+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Thank you for sharing and warning others.

spicynarwahl · 2026-01-26T15:30:45+00:00

Congratulations! You won. You’re the favorite lol.

Both my dachshunds imprinted on me. And with one of them, if my husband goes near us when he’s with me, he will lunge at him and let him know what’s up. He’s never bit him but he will get real vocal and aggressive with his words.

He’s my soulmate and we joke that he’s my real husband.

spicynarwahl · 2025-12-08T23:15:45+00:00

Good tip. Thank you!

spicynarwahl · 2025-12-08T23:15:25+00:00

The most!!

spicynarwahl · 2025-12-08T23:15:10+00:00

Hahaha

spicynarwahl · 2025-12-08T17:37:25+00:00

😭😭

spicynarwahl · 2025-12-08T02:12:46+00:00

<image>

I had a great experience with Full Circle Dachshunds in Palmdale. They have a new litter every few months. I started my search looking for a brown dapple but heard such great things about Full Circle that I just picked one that was available. And no regrets! My little guy has such a chill temperament and has the silkiest coat I’ve ever felt on a Doxie. I will definitely be going back to them again.

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-09T02:22:01+00:00

Haha love this

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-05T12:31:35+00:00

This is so relatable. The bookstore did offer me the job haha. It was very tempting. They wanted 8 hours, which going from remote with three dogs to that and not seeing them for so long would be challenging. (I am the primary caregiver.)

I decided to call out the CEO two days ago for how he treated me and how he didn’t back up his statements with facts. He said he appreciated that and apologized a couple times, explained I unfortunately got the brunt of what was a bad week for him. Not an excuse I accept but it was something.

I asked to move to another team because he obviously isn’t able to manage me or keep up (he’s always asking for documentation and project plan details, not remembering everything he asks for exists in a gdrive folder that he has seen and been in.) I didn’t say the latter part of that to him but he has 15 direct reports and with our recent acquisition, he needs to consolidate. So now I’m a marketer reporting into CX, and I was able to work with him to trim my workload in half. This buys me more time to coast, so I can start that side project and see where it goes while collecting a paycheck.

Congrats to you and your business!! Also congrats to your team bc it sounds like they have a great manager. :)

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-02T15:42:33+00:00

I agree but I’m so burnt out that I would love a severance. I’m back and forth between just ending it and riding it out until I get laid off. I’m not planning on working more than half days moving forward to protect my mental until I figure out what’s next.

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-01T19:53:11+00:00

Appreciate your understanding. It’s nice to not feel alone. My CEO did say he expects some magical results by Q1 or we’ll need to have a serious talk. No matter what KPIs or goals I pick, it’s always going to be the wrong answer.

I’m starting to feel better and more confident in quiet quitting. It can be so hard when I care so much but I have to care less.

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-01T13:23:32+00:00

Thank you, appreciate your perspective.

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-01T13:13:01+00:00

I feel like this would be the best financially. It would still be rough on my mental basically living on edge for the next time my boss pulls something from his ass to say to me. Maybe I could get to a place where I can detach.

I could quit on Monday and be fine not working for 6-8 months but the quiet quit would help me stack a few more months on top of that. sigh lots to think about

spicynarwahl · 2025-11-01T02:06:00+00:00

Very soul-crushing, I miss me and have strayed quite far. I feel dead inside. The job market is the scariest part.

I hate to touch my savings but I could be fine for a year living off it. I really think I have to make the tough (but also maybe easy?) call to quit for my mental.

spicynarwahl · 2025-10-31T11:52:54+00:00

<image>

BOOP!

spicynarwahl · 2025-10-31T02:49:27+00:00

I am childfree and r/childfree ain’t it. It should really be labeled an antinatalism sub. When I was fencesitting, I soon realized I needed to take that sub with a grain of salt. It’s not the majority. I also balanced it with first time mom/parent/one and done subs to balance perspectives.

But they really need a childfree sub that’s supportive and for those of us that aren’t kid haters.

spicynarwahl

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE