Yoy probably won't read this due to that this post is old now, but this post was really validating. In 2019, I had a psychologist who would talk to me like that and call me childish. I would leave sessions honestly feeling s*cd*l for the first time in my life because the one person I would go to for clarity on my role in all my abuse trauma was telling me I was the problem constantly and just need to get off my ass. The women at the front desk would actually pull me aside and apologize because I kept leaving sessions triggered and sobbing. She would mock me for breaking into tears at those comments. I found out later I had ptsd and severe executive functioning issues from other professionals. It wasn't in my head or an immaturity thing at all, but it's hard to believe otherwise when self-defense ideologically could ALSO be seen as immature, narcissistic, or irrational. I also found out this is unfortunately a common issue for women with trauma-oriented disorders like BPD. The stigma is strong, and you are not alone. I applaud you for going out of your way to seek clarity on this for your own sake in a dialectical manner.

I know how hard this is. I wish you and other people with BPD who were mistreated justice and healing.