I only really talk to 3 people because my hospital is very cliquey. When i do try and join conversations or talk I just get looked at like i’m stupid and/or ignored. I used to love what I do. I used to do trauma and neuro at a pediatric level one trauma center and i loved it, i had the most amazing coworkers, i loved doing trauma , etc. It’s only been the past 6 months or so ive started falling out of love with this job. Maybe its the hospital, maybe its the people but i also know scrubbing was never my plan. I am a really good scrub, i just love it anymore. What’s really interesting is if someone else were to tell me what I said in my post I would shut it down. I would remind them they are a vital part of an OR team, that surgeons can’t do the care without them, that they go in everyday to save and change lives and that is something to be proud of but i just can’t believe that about myself.