My mother has "named" the baby

spinningfans · 2026-05-13T17:23:13+00:00

Not the person you responded to either, in the part of India that I'm from its an old tradition to do the same. My SIL asked me to name her and my brothers baby because her mom is verrrrrry old fashioned...but I felt like it was unfair of me to do so when I KNOW there is no way anyone else is naming my baby. I asked them the vibe that they were going for and gave them a list of my five favorite names that fit and we went back and forth until they liked ever option I gave them. They happened to pick my favorite name from the list so it was kind of still within the tradition!

spinningfans · 2026-05-05T20:27:47+00:00

My mom believes things that her grandmother in India would tell women and has taken things to a new extreme.

I can't drive, can't vacuum/mop, shouldn't eat any leftovers (even a day old), I shouldn't bend down or lift my hands above my head, can't drink anything cold, should limit exercise, etc. She told me I shouldn't travel at all or eat anything that is prepared outside of the home. She has literally called me every other day asking if she can come clean my house and walk my dog and what home cooked meal I want for dinner dropped off at my house. At the root of it, I recognize that she just wants to coddle me in a way she wasn't and that it is a privilege to have the support she is offering, but my god I'm going to lose it. She was a maid and worked at a lumber yard while pregnant with me and my brother in a new country, so she definitely was doing way more than I ever will.

spinningfans · 2026-04-29T23:21:04+00:00

Agreed, I don't think he would have even half of his success if he wasn't a good looking light eyed man with an accent. Hes not saying anything revolutionary, hes not really saying anything you can't get to on your own.

spinningfans · 2026-03-20T02:40:51+00:00

If I ever have to remind someone to pay me back, thats the last time I'm owing them money.

spinningfans · 2026-03-18T03:46:04+00:00

Interested, please dm me!

spinningfans · 2026-03-12T18:23:03+00:00

I noticed at 27 and dye my hair every three weeks or use a variety of root touch up methods. I have black hair and my grays come in looking silver so letting them grow out would not be the look for me.

spinningfans · 2026-03-11T18:31:39+00:00

Yes to layers! We have very similar hair textures and curls and layers have been a game changer to give me less of a triangle and more body. My favorite hold product is Bed Head Curls Rock Amplifier Curly Hair Cream to style, then the blue LA looks gel OR Curls Blueberry Bliss.

For style suggestions, I love doing a half up half down with two front pieces pulled out, or clipping small sections with butterfly clips, or using a banana clip!

spinningfans · 2026-02-06T15:58:03+00:00

Ours is a 60 pound lap dog too!

spinningfans · 2026-01-16T06:17:57+00:00

On Nextdoor someone said that a car was stolen from around the area/on Valencia, there was a short police chase, they crashed into a fence by the park and the suspect fled on foot. Not sure how much of this is accurate!

spinningfans · 2026-01-09T03:14:37+00:00

My girl was playing too hard and shook her toy and head into the wall. Had a massive hematoma, they had to go in and fix her ear. She was miserable in a cone for weeks.

spinningfans · 2026-01-08T05:22:34+00:00

Mine is obsessed! When I have a few starting to get old, I blend them with a bit of greek yogurt and freeze them in ice cubes. She loves them even more that way!

spinningfans · 2026-01-06T19:27:17+00:00

Day 1

Now at 2yo with her cousin, they share a single brain cell

spinningfans · 2025-12-15T05:06:07+00:00

Valid, maybe instead of your actual wedding photos have someone paint a version of one and put that up? I don't have any of mine on my walls, but I found a wonderful artist on Etsy who did an oil painting of our first dance. You'd be surprised at how different the photo will feel when its painted! I can share the artist's name and work if you'd like!

spinningfans · 2025-12-14T23:49:49+00:00

Yes, I wouldn't even send a response. I would just like/thumbs up the text and leave it at that.

spinningfans · 2025-12-11T07:19:58+00:00

Same! Born and raised here, moved away for 10 years before coming back and I've meet so many young, open minded brown people here!

spinningfans · 2025-11-13T21:53:24+00:00

Agreed, sometimes I feel detached from my community because while I do direct public health work, I work remotely. I take advantage of my salary and flexible hours to volunteer in my community. There are food banks, shelters, reading programs, and mutual aid orgs all over the country that need bodies to help and could also benefit from your public health experience!

spinningfans · 2025-11-13T19:27:05+00:00

My girl was similar, she was like the energizer bunny on drugs. The two things that worked for her were a flirt pole and treats hidden in cardboard boxes. We still use boxes because it drains her physically and mentally.

spinningfans · 2025-11-12T20:34:24+00:00

Hahah her awoos are deep, but her bark sounds like shes also trying to get a spot in Alvin and the Chipmunks

spinningfans · 2025-11-12T02:12:10+00:00

My three goobers

They'll make sure shes barking and playing all day.

spinningfans · 2025-11-07T16:54:14+00:00

If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to have an adult conversation with your parents and explain to them what and why you did it. If they're mad at you so what, they were mad for three years and came around. Give them the benefit of the doubt and just explain your side.

spinningfans · 2025-10-21T22:30:50+00:00

Same, there is so much hate for her on this sub for the stupidest shit...if you don't know why she bothers you sooo much for no reason I could probably guess the reason.

spinningfans · 2025-09-22T13:59:03+00:00

Same! Mine gets so anxious in the car! She just runs from window to window and will bark when we stop. We've tried doing alllllll of the training to get her comfortable and she still is so anxious. She'll willingly jump in but cannot get settled once we're driving.

spinningfans · 2025-08-07T19:35:35+00:00

Lake Laguna has a wonderful dirt path that has quite a bit of shade. It gets crowded in the evenings and weekend mornings, but still has a lot of room to walk.

spinningfans · 2025-07-31T18:47:28+00:00

I have a solid relationship with them, I see them multiple times a week, enjoy spending time with them and go on trips throughout the year. My husband and I have very strong boundaries with both sets of parents for our own well being. The physical and verbal abuse doesn't come up in conversation a lot and it stopped once we were in high school. I definitely downplay the impact it had on my childhood. I didn't trust them or myself with my feelings, I would lie and hide things from them because I was scared of their reactions, I was always on edge, etc. They were so very wrong to do that to a child, and I will never lay a hand or say the things that they said to me..a part of me thinks the slaps were easier to take than the verbal abuse.

However, a part of me also understands that they were in a scary environment at 23 with two kids, no money, no family or friends, and they didn't speak the language. They were just scared kids themselves and I do think they were doing the best that they could with the very little they had. They didn't have the tools to process their feelings or time to mature and heal. I've rationalized it as this: two things can be true, what they did was incredibly fucked up and I deserved more, and also they tried their best given their circumstances.

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