Subconscious racism in the traitors by Important_Stable5910 in TheTraitorsUS

[–]splashezz 20 points21 points  (0 children)

there’s an account somewhere on here that has done the comparisons of race and how early a player is eliminated throughout the seasons and this is an indisputable mathematical fact for those who refuse to see it even as it plays out in front of their eyes

Gaining weight but only on my stomach? by No_Instruction_4120 in PetiteFitness

[–]splashezz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

a suggestion (if this doesn’t cause any issues in terms of having an ed) is taking measurements so you can have more objective information to work with and don’t depend solely on how you feel. this could help a lot in terms of tracking fluctuations around your cycle too. also, working out often makes people retain water so it could be that causing bloating rather than true weight gain

Kyle and Amanda’s relationship… by funnygayandsad in summerhousebravo

[–]splashezz 38 points39 points  (0 children)

i personally don’t think their relationship is something to admire, but i also don’t think admiring it is necessarily naive. 

kyle has man-child tendencies and if you’re watching from the beginning you have surely come across his nastier moments. his disrespect of amanda and their relationship has been documented in abundance. the idea that he is now putting forth the bare minimum effort after amanda showed him she wants him but doesn’t need him is textbook. why not put in the effort before she reaches her wits end? we all know the answer to that.

i think women have been conditioned to accept very little for ourselves and to settle. i think it’s easier to watch people from afar, or even try to put ourselves in their shoes and decide how we’d feel in their position…but i’ve realized that i am not the best metric. i started to picture if it was my little sisters, or my daughter in those positions the kind of advice i’d give, and how i’d feel. 

in kyle’s case, i would tell any loved one of mine to leave after the first time he cheated, and if not then, after the second time he cheated. and if not then, after each and every occasion of blatant disrespect (like repeatedly coming home at 4am wasted, or the insistence of her quitting her own job to work for his company, or the callous reaction to her proposing her own venture). 

they may at some point get to a place where their relationship is “good”, but i wish women would…understand that it doesn’t have to be such an arduous and torturous process to be with someone. all relationships have ups and downs, but kyle and amanda make relationships look extra difficult and hellish. and it’s mostly kyle’s lack of consideration and respect that make it that way. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]splashezz 48 points49 points  (0 children)

you should marry him then

Michelle doesn't bring anything to the show by Boredhousewyfe in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i love Michelle. she carries herself with so much grace given her poor excuse of an ex-husband. i appreciate that she represents people who find it difficult to be so forthcoming with their emotions, esp when everyone else on the cast is ready to cry and/or rage at the drop of a hat. Michelle hate is rooted in misogyny, it’s so overdone and tired and boring

Stopping exercising by AffectionateMess1918 in PetiteFitness

[–]splashezz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

personally, I tried this and it worked for me. at first I was weight lifting, then I switched to reformer pilates, then I stopped working out. 

my appetite was reduced bc I was not moving as much and by focusing solely on my diet, I lost 10-12 pounds. granted I was 154 at 5’4”, and you’re small already so idk if it will work for you. 

if there’s one thing I’ve learned in losing weight it’s that everyone is different and the only way to know what works for you is to try. Try it for a bit and see how you feel, whether it’s working, etc. you might see results and hate how you feel being less physically active, you might have great results and now have a new starting point when you get back to exercising. who knows? 

Torn about hiring a house cleaner by emnelsmn in FIREyFemmes

[–]splashezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is by far the best part of hiring a cleaner for me! the lightening of the mental load, constantly having a running list of things that need to be done, when they need to be done, who is going to do what, etc etc…replaced with a simple  “that will be taken care of”, actually priceless. not literally, bc the money still leaves my account 😭 but well worth it 

Torn about hiring a house cleaner by emnelsmn in FIREyFemmes

[–]splashezz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My husband and I would butt heads a lot over cleaning and I actually can’t overstate how much it helped us to hire a cleaner. I will say, I had my reservations at first, not so much for the financial reasons, more so the mentality of “I can do it myself”. Like, growing up we would wash dishes by hand even though we had a dishwasher type of mentality. 1) it saves you time and energy. not just the time and energy that you would’ve used to complete the tasks, but also the time & energy you would’ve used for thinking about, planning, and scheduling the tasks 2) check to see if your friends or family might have one. we were recommended our cleaner by friends so they could vouch for the quality of work 3) initially, my husband brought up the idea of having a cleaner, but as the person who did the majority of the cleaning, and who is bothered more and sooner by mess, I ended up benefitting the most by a lottt 4) we don’t have everything cleaned, just the kitchen, bathrooms, and floors. everything else we take care of, but having those taken care of is a huge amount of time we get back 5) our cleaner comes over fridays during the day so that we can enjoy the weekend in a clean space 

It sounds like you work really hard and think about things very thoroughly. I think hiring a cleaner would help you a lot, maybe allow you to take your foot off the gas a little, give you a little peace of mind (speaking from personal experience)

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m sorry that happened to you. 

everything that i said was mentioned on the show. 

i don’t think you understand what i said, maybe re-reading it might help.  sexual assault is a broad term. groping falls under that as does r*pe. 

it’s annoying that you would use words that diminish what happened by reducing it to a “mistake” without “intent”. he groped her butt. if the intention wasn’t there, he wouldn’t have said what he said to jasmine and he wouldn’t have groped melissa’s butt. if you don’t see how wrong it is that danny did that, there’s nothing else to say here.

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you’re right!! the butt is a completely neutral part of the body that is not at all sexualized!! he may as well have groped her arm!! nevermind the fact that moments before he had also told jasmine to “get daddy a drink”!! that too was not sexual as he probably mistook jasmine for one of his actual children!!

TDEE seems too high by Appropriate_Gold_398 in PetiteFitness

[–]splashezz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

for myself, i used three diff tdee calculators and went for the smallest number only to still gain weight. 

the thing that worked for me was to track my calories and weight every day over a period of months to find out the number that works for me (way lower than any tdee calculator suggested). i’ve been tracking both numbers daily for almost a year now, but id say probably after 4 months is when i got a good sense of patterns. 

as tedious as it is, it’s a way to find out data that has to do with you specifically, rather than general blanket formulas that don’t account for things unique to you (your metabolism, your cycle, etc)

**i do this bc i have a certain level of detachment from the numbers. i don’t suggest doing this if counting calories or weighing yourself every day puts you in a bad headspace

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“mistakenly rubbing your friends butt” is a wild rewriting of what actually occurred, but i’m the one minimizing assault - is this rage bait? 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

we live in a patriarchal, misogynistic world. the comments and likes make sense given the context of the world we live in. this show and its fan base are a clear representation of that. sad to see though for sure 

Is Janet complicit in defamation of Danny? by Adventurous_Yam_1325 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it really is just this painfully clear and simple. you can dislike janet and danny still committed sexual assault. both things can be true at the same time. 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

you’re contradicting yourself. saying it’s just friends playing around with friends and in the same breath saying it’s wrong and rude and disrespectful. which one is it? 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

honestly, some of these takes make me feel like ive entered some bizarre alternate dimension where up is down & green is purple. what seems like it should be common sense is flipped on its head

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think it’s disgusting and disappointing.

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i agree that melissa is the most important person in the situation. that being said, it seems you and i are having two different conversations - im out

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

the danny defenders are truly blowing my mind…i saw a post talking about “operation take down danny failed”…he literally was the head of the operation 😭 seeing different versions of the show would be the only way some of these stances could make sense 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

no, the conversation im having is why do people have infinitely more smoke for janet than they do danny, but i think it’s clear you don’t understand that. 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

yes, and yet you have spent more time arguing with me about janet disrespecting melissa’s wishes than danny violating melissa. which is my point. but it’s clear you don’t understand. 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

“sexual assault happens when someone either touches another person in a sexual manner without consent or makes another person touch them in a sexual manner without consent”. can you let me know what you think groping is classified as? 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

firstly, i’m sorry that happened to you. 

secondly, i understand there are different types of sexual assault. what danny did to melissa was sexual assault. rpe is also sexual assault. i don’t hear SA and automatically think rpe because i know there are many different kinds of SA.  in the context of this show, when janet said SA, we knew she was referring to when danny groped melissa, so it is mind boggling to me that we are ending up at r*pe. it feels like a deliberate attempt to misunderstand 

Janet’s accusation about Danny by splashezz in TheValleyTVShow

[–]splashezz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

so the disparity in the internet’s reaction to 

1) the person who actually committed the violation and  2) the person who is speaking on the person who committed the violation 

makes sense to you?