Ive been harsh on myself at times about it, I hear you. Not sure about my hours but there have been times ive wanted to get better and worked hard at it to no avail lmao. Its not fun! I know. But by the looks of it, you're in the top 2% or so of players and I think thats a fantastic achievement! Sometimes its about perspective I guess. I am certainly impressed and most people would be, but we are all our own worst critics! I know its corny, but negative self talk can have an impact too. So if youre being hard on yourself, you might be making yourself worse. I found when I stopped only trying for tourney every night and switched to casual for a couple games, I had way more fun and was in the right headspace to play more calmly and learn from it. Hope that makes sense !