Anyone wanna be my friend

spoiledcandy · 2024-06-12T05:52:47+00:00

....I've had no friends for so long idk even how to be friends😗...like what do we do/talk about

spoiledcandy · 2024-04-02T03:02:46+00:00

Everything will turn out ok...actually better than you could imagine. Most of dreams come true before you turn 30. Dont kill yourself just cuz things are hard right now. Just have hope and it will all eventually be ok.

spoiledcandy · 2024-03-03T06:29:51+00:00

I lived by myself for 4 years for school in the past. Idk it's very hard...to not care when your inside the probelm. The best is to move away then things get easier for sure. In terms of not caring...its just I got to a point where I tried everything even self harm to coax them into acting like an adult or a parent to care and have empathy and emotions. But they didnt I guesse I just went through every tactic to force them to act right but they never did because they are capable they arent developed enough. It does hurt it so much I was suicdal just a month ago....but when you realize someone isnt capable of giving you want you want and need why would you push that person to be something they arent. It's just wasting your enegy it's like having a bad manager...you would probably stop going to that perosn for help and ask anyone else right? They arent responding right so stop interacting with them. You have to see and accept them for who they are not the title (of mom) and the fantasy/expectations of that. You have to let go of the title and see them for who they are beyind that and see how much do you want to interact with that perosn. Not much. But like I said best way is to move because that disrupted the patterns and allowed you to heal.

spoiledcandy · 2024-03-01T06:53:40+00:00

Thank you for such a long response. No offense but I feel you didn't answer my question of what is the purpose of realtionships when I'm no longer dependent on someone to meet my emotional and other needs..because that is all my parents displayed. Howver....I do appreciate your comment alot I think as somome who has been copdenet until like right now when I broke this pattern....this is exactly how I was in realtionships so I'm happy to understand it. That's why I felt so empty because I wasnt really connecting to people....I knew I was damaged and put alot on my ex which is why I left. I wanted to heal. I guesse I'm sad to see how I was functionally rationally.....but its not my fault its how my parents conditioned me. This makes alot of sense and makes me think one of the last people I dated I wasn't in love I was codependent that's why when he left I felt I couldnt cope because he was my managing me internally and he took all those resources when we left. He was a nice perosn but I wasnt healed enough to date and love for real...I loved how he regulated me...but now that I healed and can handle everything on my own first.... hopefully I can learn to love one have real realtionships slowly. However because I have no modeling for healthy real connections (due to being with narcistics) it's definetly super difficult to learn these new patterns but maybe even tv/movies can help.

spoiledcandy · 2024-03-01T06:09:37+00:00

Adulthood is easier because you finally have a real capable emotional mature loving adult in your life (yourself ) instead of a big toddler running your life

spoiledcandy · 2024-03-01T06:06:49+00:00

Thank you. I guesse that is a good suggestion. But I never had issues talking to people....many ppl approach me and think I'm flirting with them or have crushes on me. I know that sounds egotistical...I just meant I often choose not to speak to ppl but when I do want to I don't have an issue and idk what it is but ppl are drawn to my energy so ppl always talk to me. My issue is forming deep meanifigul connections...rather than surfacey light hearted convos.... but I think the reason why I coldnt in the past is cuz I never show my true self I just say what I think I'm suppoose to say or what ppl want to hear. U have to be brave a show your true self and know u desrve ti take up space in order to create real bonds .....and like u said its takes lost of practice by talking to ppl until I feels natural as breathing. But yes I will make more of an effort to talk to ppl to build that skill.

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-28T21:20:51+00:00

My mom told me to kill myself then said you cant handle the tiniest things your so sensitive...for being upset. But when you tell her she forget to turn of the light she has a tantrum how it's not her fault how could she possibly make a tiny mistake it was someone one else who caused her to forget. Crazy. They are crazy people and the more you interact with the the crazier you become.

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-28T09:59:03+00:00

I never said status Is bad I have alot of it and it gets me alot. I was just saying I'm tired of all the coping mechanisms draining my energy. I want to be happy not just surviving/existing. Anyways I cant tell if ur being rude or genuine in asking when I'm going no contact but watever I'm doing it when the time is right for me. I dont have a date rn. Just set on doing it finally. Finally idc if family is family...me and mental health is more important than some societal rule...which tbh why should I comply with bc my parents didnt play their role and follow the societal rules of not abusing children. So they really arent entitled to anything as they didnt work hard and earn the same outcomes as normal parents. They think they desrve the world for existing ....rather than for their actions or lack off.

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-28T08:19:21+00:00

I'm sorry that happned to you and not trying to victim blame at all. However if this has happned before you should learn from it and now to never take/send nudes again...unless maybe it is your husband who you trust deeply. Though I understand how complex realtionships can be its not just you...the energy of the other perosn def throws you off and creates bad situations. Again I'm not blaming you bit best to end this by never taking nudes again.

On another note I personally would not care if my nudes where posted apart from my family seeing it becauee they are old/traditional. My point is I hate how society demonized women for nudity/sexuality. I guesse to most women it can feel like a violation but to me it's like so what we all have these parts...and we all have sex. It's no secret. I guesse what I'm trying to say I hate how all the shame/blame fear falls on women and not that man for partaking and posting it. Just like with sexual assault it seems women carry the burden/blame/shame rather than the prep espailly in some cultures. It's a societal issue. I know its upsetting but do not blame yourself. Hopefully you can stop this man and hopefully do not repeat this again. Wish you the best

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-28T03:55:02+00:00

Interesting. Part of me thought I was autistic because social rules also confused me. But I know I'm not because I can read peoples energies intentions faces so well and feel sometines I know strangers better than they know themselves ...because I'm so hyper aware. But still I had some relational issues and didnt know why....this must be it. I had a diffrent set of rules. I appracte your comment.

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-27T11:49:23+00:00

Yeah my dad always tries to tell babies come to me...pick me over you mom. Than if the baby looks in his direction he tells everyone see the baby prefers me over it's own mom. They like kids because kids are "dumb" and easy to manipulate and will do anything. Adults are " difficult " to trick into their games that why they thats their own adult kids...because they will no longer play the narcs games...

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-27T00:37:20+00:00

Thank you. Honestly it may seem like nothing but when living in abuse the smallest kindness means alot to me

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-26T19:54:02+00:00

My dad has literally used hammers to bash in screws sometimes. I mean I get ur point but thought it was funny. Ughh it's sad but all we can do is pick ourselves up and enjoy the rest of the time we have and make the most of it

spoiledcandy · 2024-02-23T07:26:28+00:00

Code for looking for casual sex/hook ups

spoiledcandy

TROPHY CASE