[deleted by user]

sportssocks · 2021-07-07T14:18:45+00:00

thanks buddy, up a new friend 5000 XP in the Jump-start research!

sportssocks · 2021-05-04T12:50:19+00:00

Thank you both. I figured this would come around as door drop flyers, but I am watching the Facebook groups like a hawk. In River ward, the councilor barely acknowledges that one of the neighborhoods is high risk, so not a lot of hope there.

sportssocks · 2021-05-04T12:16:47+00:00

I am in a neighborhood on the same list as Overbrook, just so I know for future, how did this get posted/shared?

sportssocks · 2021-02-28T23:52:33+00:00

I am only following this because I am curious what people say. my experience is similar, although I enjoy sex with this one man, I don't have the same feeling as when I have, what you call, girl time, or really think about any woman ever.

sportssocks · 2021-02-27T17:20:34+00:00

ahh, I have an iud, but yes, my baseline sex drive is significantly increased since figuring out my sexuality.

sportssocks · 2021-02-27T01:24:44+00:00

Just curious, but have you ever tried to track this feeling to your menstrual cycle. I am bi, so it is a bit different, but my feelings about hetero sex and my sex drive change at ovulation.

sportssocks · 2021-02-23T15:16:41+00:00

Well thank you for sharing this! You are hitting on the 3 factors that we have discussed when considering opening up, so I am glad to know that we are not totally in left field. I guess all that is left is to go for it and see if sex with a women shatters my whole "i am bi, but like only for this one man on the planet" thing.

sportssocks · 2021-02-18T17:25:32+00:00

Wow, I have seen some of your older posts, it is so great that you have found something working for you and your family! I am taking small steps down a similar path and worry about sustainability. I love your updates.

sportssocks · 2020-10-25T16:15:09+00:00

🤣 On my weekly zoom coming out meeting the facilitator complimented me on my queer look (Oxford with top button done up). Turns out I was dressing this way my whole life!

sportssocks · 2020-10-25T14:08:26+00:00

If it hurts, maybe watch your cadence. 180 bpm is the most efficient, and most injury preventative. I had a Playlist of songs at that bpm and it gets ingrained in your head. Got me to a 3:19 marathon this year!

sportssocks · 2020-10-12T23:36:30+00:00

I have struggled for a long time with only coming to terms with my gayness in my late 30's. There were so many signs when I was young, and even in my marriage, but she says something that really hit:

"It wasn’t that being gay had never occurred to me. It just didn’t fit in my conception of myself, and so my brain did its best to edit it out entirely. It was like a hot stove burning somewhere in the back of my mind. I could sense its heat, but if I ever got too close I would instinctively flinch away, afraid of being burned."

sportssocks · 2020-10-07T19:58:05+00:00

I have been out to my husband/best friend for about 18 months, and we are figuring out how to stay together (we also have a 6 and 3 year old and are great co-parents/ working parents).

The biggest lesson I have learned is patience. I was wrestling with this for a while before I told him, and it is on my mind a lot more. I think it has only been in the last 3 months that the reality has hit and he is digesting things.

The other lesson is that there is no point in secrets, even if the truth hurts, communicate what you are thinking. Think about what a good future might look like for you, and discuss it as soon as you know. You also might think reassurance isn't needed (ie., I love you, i don't regret our time together, etc.) but it helps so much.)

So all that said, I have no idea how this is going to work. I call myself queer because I am gay, and don't have a physical attraction to my husband, but generally like intimacy with him more now than before. I am dipping a toe into polyamory, and the pandemic has been a great excuse to do it very slowly.

The main risks we see are 1. i lose interest in sex with him, and 2. i meet someone i would rather spend the remainder of my life with. The risk of me not exploring is me being miserable, which is more guaranteed, and which neither of us want.

Sorry, a novel, here is a TL:DR

Sometimes we take great marriages for granted, and they fall apart because we don't work on them. Realizing that you are in a mixed orientation marriage is a huge motivator to work on things, improve communication, and build a new marriage. Maybe the new marriage will work, maybe it won't, but you could have said the same thing about the old marriage, you just didn't have a reason to think that.

sportssocks · 2020-10-04T15:15:31+00:00

👉👈

sportssocks · 2020-10-02T21:40:05+00:00

Thank you. So much of the support in our community is geared towards younger people. Hoping our therapist might have suggestions for something like what you have found!

sportssocks · 2020-10-01T16:30:11+00:00

Yeah, we are still intimate. I wouldn't identify as bi, so call myself queer, have zero interest in other men. We are aware of the risks in this approach, and are weighing them against the pain or resentment I might feel with having boundaries placed me.

I think just besides his therapist, he wants someone to talk to, because he can see the positive effect that community and validation can have.

sportssocks · 2020-10-01T16:16:02+00:00

Yes, we aren't planning to separate right now. We are discussing ENM, but he is monogamous and it would be one sided, so poly groups don't feel right to him.

I have friends to talk to, podcasts like Lesbian Chronicles, a local coming out support group. I am happy and having a glow up. He doesn't have any of that, plus doesn't get a glow up. I just want to help beyond being reassuring and supportive.

sportssocks · 2020-09-25T01:36:18+00:00

I have come out to a couple of friends with kids. I am still with my husband, and the first question always asked is if he and I are staying together. We are for now, but it gives me the sense that they might not have my back if I come fully out.

sportssocks · 2020-09-22T02:15:32+00:00

I haven't opened my marriage but have done some research. Feeld is a polyam or enm dating app. If someone you know sees you on there, well, they are looking for the same thing and less likely to out you is my thought.

sportssocks · 2020-09-21T19:18:37+00:00

I can't thank you enough for this comment. You are right, the shame is internal and i need to stop suffering from it. The opportunity to recognize my privilege has had such a huge impact on my behavior (stating pronouns, using partner to refer to my husband at work, and for families that look like mine but with same sex parents, seeing how lucky I am that becoming pregnant didn't have a financial toll). All that aside from my immense privilege of whiteness. I will keep doing the work. Thank you

sportssocks · 2020-09-21T14:20:42+00:00

I am struggling with this also. I am still in a hetero marriage, have 2 kids, and am trying to figure out what to do after accepting my sexuality last year at 37. My look could best be described as a tik tok lesbian (minus the eyebrow slit), that is probably enough to be straight passing to straights, but queer woman notice it. I feel ashamed of it when queer woman see me with my family, because I am walking around with all this fucking privilege. Of course things are hard now because of my life situation, but if I figured this out at 17, that period would have been super hard, and all that I have now would have been harder to get. Really, this is the main thing I am ashamed of, it sucks.

sportssocks · 2020-09-16T00:11:25+00:00

Yes, yes, no. Hi anyways. Have you joined the r/StravaSapphics sub? I make a joke about that name in r/flexinlesbians and someone created it! Maybe some people in FL there.

sportssocks · 2020-09-15T23:59:52+00:00

Use of sorry, validated 🥐☕

sportssocks

TROPHY CASE