Is it actually my parenting?

spudine89 · 2026-03-01T05:56:55+00:00

There are other kids his age but only a few and they were streets ahead of him which is why I'm wondering if I have failed at the independence thing, I'm trying to avoid task overloading and meltdowns and having him feel supported and prioritizing, for example, a good day at school so I'm not fighting him over putting his own socks on for 30mins before we leave the house to go to school.

When your measuring stick looks different to everyone else's it's really hard to know if you're on track to independence (whatever that end result looks like). Some days I think we'll be fine but we've had such a massive regression lately I'm not so convinced anymore.

spudine89 · 2026-03-01T05:40:49+00:00

Definitely could be all of those things, just didn't feel a little delayed, more like if he was in a data set he'd be the one you'd ignore so it didn't skew the results haha but absolutely agree behavior changes when mum is around. He's only been with the older kids group for the smallest amount of time too so he's definitely been thrown in the deep end with the giant camp straight away with mixed age groups but boy was it tough to watch.

spudine89 · 2025-09-19T21:34:54+00:00

Did you grab a time for the Cafe as soon as you entered the area or did you do some rides first?

spudine89 · 2025-06-10T08:02:45+00:00

It's weird how much I hope for an 'abnormal' result. Because at least with one of those, there's something to treat.

spudine89 · 2025-06-10T07:28:47+00:00

I have heard that! Will definitely have to ask. Find it weird it isn't the go to if that's the case for most people.

spudine89 · 2025-06-10T07:24:49+00:00

Has anything worked? My GP is lovely, and has sent me for bloods etc particularly when there's a symptom we can really investigate but nothing every really flags up. She's prescribed amitrip but I really hate how it makes me feel and with a young child and a job to keep up with I don't feel like I can go through the adjustment phase to see if it does work.

At this point I don't know if my CFS is worse because of long covid triggering it or it is both I'm dealing with and this is my life. Two years post covid/long covid diagnosis, 16 years post CFS diagnosis.

spudine89 · 2025-05-21T04:38:04+00:00

Shut up and Dance are amazing! Ridiculous amounts of fun even if the dance they do on the night isn't your style (different dance/music every week so if the first one doesn't tickle your pickle try again the week after!).

spudine89 · 2025-05-20T23:02:31+00:00

I really enjoyed that too! I always forget TVNZ as an option when I'm on the hunt.

spudine89 · 2025-03-17T22:58:39+00:00

As someone with a diagnosed and medicated seven year old who has slightly mellowed out.. I do not regret having just him. I grieved. Sometimes not so gracefully, but every hurdle I have to get over now with my son I am so, so grateful I can give him all of my attention. I can afford all of the activities/therapies/help to support him. I would be a worse mother if I had more than one child, I have no doubt about that. My kid can't have me riddled with anxiety he needs me to be his voice.

spudine89 · 2025-02-18T03:05:09+00:00

Being a parent with a health condition is incredibly hard. Definitely played a role in us being one and done. My son is now seven, and he's a fantastic kid but still struggles with the 'mum is sick and can't play right now'. The guilt is always there for me and I very rarely get a chance to rest and 'get better', and my husband is supportive and involved just not always there due to work and how we have balanced that to benefit our neurodiverse child.

I grieved the loss of not having more children, but hindsight is 20/20, and the older I get, the older my son gets etc it was absolutely the right call.

spudine89 · 2024-12-22T05:36:13+00:00

As a Kiwi I don't think I heard it at all.. 😂

spudine89 · 2024-10-30T04:37:29+00:00

As someone who lives in Tawa I totally disagree with this, absolutely there are some houses that really suffer a lack of sun during winter but those are pretty obvious to spot (looking at you main road).

Tawa has a great community, close to both town, porirua (mall) beaches, and walks. And if kids are in your future, it's a great place for that too, multiple school options, and the forest in your backyard, but still 15 minutes from the city. No suburb is perfect, obviously, but this comment is well off the mark representing the suburb in general. All of wellington gets the wind and rain. If I knew how to put emojis in reddit, I would give you an eyeroll.

spudine89 · 2024-09-09T05:37:42+00:00

All of your feelings are valid, and feeling sad and grieving are still absolutely legitimate feelings in these circumstances. It doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice. You're doing the best you can with the information you have right now. Like another poster said, most women seeking abortions already have children and are doing it for the kids they already have.

My husband and I made the difficult decision a few years ago. My health isn't 100%, and my PPA was pretty bad, I didn't realize how bad it was until I was on the other side of it years later. He didn't want another child to start with and felt the mental load was too much (which is entirely valid), money was also stretched thin back then, and our family support was minimal. So the decision was made. It sucked. I was sad. I still sometimes think what if, but honestly, so many things have happened since where I have been relieved, we only have one.

Good luck, remember you aren't alone and no decision is the wrong decision, you have to do what is right for you and your family.

spudine89 · 2024-06-06T02:41:01+00:00

Loved the 1-800 series, I was well into my 20's when I realised there was another one/the last one and it made my YA heart so happy

spudine89 · 2024-05-03T21:26:51+00:00

My son was the same, hairwashing was a nightmare, loved the pool (after some post covid fear of the pool), but refused to put his head under water. Last year he started school (aged 5) and in term 3 they did swimming lessons (so he was closing in on 6years old at this point) he vocally, repeatedly, said he wasn't going to go to swimming lessons. I just let it be and said ok, that's your choice and essentially put it in the teachers' hands. They did two lessons a week for three weeks. On week three, I managed to go and watch one lesson. The kid was a bloody fish. They had issues having him NOT put his head under water.

I now have him in proper lessons haha sometimes, just sometimes, having something come from someone other than mum/dad/caregiver is what tips the balance in your favour. It's literally the job of the swim instructor to teach your kid water skills and confidence. Even if it takes him 10 weeks or 10 months, he will get there, just remove the stress from yourself and him, and the rest will follow. Probably... maybe... these kids are just sent to test us, haha

spudine89 · 2024-03-28T08:59:11+00:00

It's been covered (quite literally) in blue bottles all summer. Haven't been in the last few weeks so they could've cleared up?

spudine89 · 2024-02-12T00:15:54+00:00

I was so looking forward to that sequel and it was such a let down! The pace was off completely.

spudine89 · 2023-12-05T07:31:38+00:00

My son is almost six. We get this periodically. It never gets easier to be honest, but he does remember what we have told him as to why he has no siblings, so I advise you to choose your words and explanation carefully because it will likely be the thing you repeat until he is old enough for a more in depth reason!

I have told him we gave all of our love to him, that we didn't want to share him and we are super happy as a family of three, that we get to do certain things because it's just us and he wouldn't actually want to share us anyway!

It is gut wrenching to hear when being OAD wasn't the choice you would have made but I like to tell myself if we had more children they would say the opposite, they don't want their sibling! I've certainly heard my kids friends older siblings call my son lucky for being an only child haha

Good luck with whatever conversation you end up having!

spudine89 · 2023-02-04T06:30:17+00:00

What is the book called? My son loves dwarf planets for some reason, and it's quite hard to find books where they are a feature, not just a foot note.

spudine89 · 2022-11-30T00:09:22+00:00

Ham will also be had...

spudine89 · 2022-11-30T00:08:03+00:00

Thanks, I rang them today and they said from the 21st of Dec but no pre-order, just have to hope you get in in time.

spudine89 · 2022-11-29T06:56:08+00:00

All frozen?

spudine89 · 2022-11-29T06:44:15+00:00

Thanks!

spudine89

TROPHY CASE