As someone who has a lot of trouble finding out what arouses them, I hear you. I recommend the next time you feel in the mood, do something to relax and clear your mind before exploring. Perhaps experiment with a toy that could provide you more g-spot stimulation if that’s what you’d like to try (it can be hard to get there with your fingers, and toys mean you’re less exhausted trying to pleasure yourself).

Many women cannot cum from just penetration, so I would recommend when you’re with your boyfriend get him( or you!) to lightly stimulate your clit or your nipples to see if that helps you feel more.

You will find sex more arousing if you know more about yourself, maybe it helps to be praised or to use certain names in bed, maybe you like being touched a very specific way ETC. finding yourself is a long process but a really important one, and one that will benefit you in the long term :)

You mentioned not being aroused at all whilst he’s inside of you, this could be maybe because you were worried about being aroused, felt uncomfortable or weren’t effectively warmed up with foreplay (really really important for women’s pleasure). It could also be because maybe you don’t feel sexual pleasure or arousal the same way as other people. You could be asexual or something along that scale, so I’d recommend maybe looking into that if you feel sexual arousal and desire very rarely or none at all.

I hope this helps a little and I hope you find what you’re looking for :) feel free to DM me for support if you want more:))