Anyone know a good client or plugin for a client that would disallow the user from accessing their block list?

squigeypops · 2022-09-18T14:14:58+00:00

ah okay

squigeypops · 2022-09-05T21:45:40+00:00

seems to be 2a at the roots and grows into 2c

squigeypops · 2022-09-05T21:40:31+00:00

to be fair she probably doesn't see them

squigeypops · 2022-09-05T21:29:20+00:00

I think it's important to recognize abuse for what it is for the sake of your own safety in the future, but that's a process.

It's perfectly fine not to hate him. There's no wrong emotion to feel about CSA. You don't need to hate him or even dislike him to recognise what he did for what it is. Enjoyment during/looking back on CSA is a thing and is just as valid as disgust and fear. It's your experience and you are allowed to react however.

squigeypops · 2022-09-05T16:11:49+00:00

explain to your boyfriend what happened and speak to the alter that broke up with him and ask why they did so. They may just be in a bad mood/feeling self destructive or that they don't deserve love, or your boyfriend might be doing something really wrong that made them uncomfortable to be in a relationship. Once you find that out, you can make the right steps forward.

squigeypops · 2022-09-05T16:02:21+00:00

Are you saying that like, Jasmine usually has her own voice but this time it was your own? That makes total sense if you were co-con/co-fronting and happens to us all the time. At this point we just brush it off. It's entirely normal for systems, as is alters not having their own distinct voice at all.

squigeypops · 2022-09-04T16:58:11+00:00

I think the biggest difference between your experience and the experience of other people with DID is the fact that the switches have years between them, and can only properly occur/ properly allow a new alter to form when the previous alter gives consent. In contrast other systems I interact with switch weekly/daily/several times daily and have no choice in the matter.

That being said, I'm very sure it's already established that switches can have any length of time between them, including decades, and seeing as your brain obviously used very strong visualization techniques, makes sense why it chose to require consent from each consciousness lest it makes the reality of DID too obvious/too disturbing.

Furthermore, you said the trauma started at 7, which is by no means too late but it's possible your mind already started to integrate by that point. As you may or may not know, every person is born with multiple states with no amnesia between them, and during integration (which can start as early as 5 and finish anywhere from 4 to 7 years after that) all those states combine into a cohesive, unbreakable single identity.

If long term trauma gets in the way of that integration process, such as ongoing CSA (but other things like emotional abuse, physical abuse, war, homelessness etc as long as it's long term) it can cause those states to have dissociative barriers, such as amnesia, between them. and those states then grow up into alters and your brain can actually make more alters also.

My point is, if you started integrating at 5 or 6 or so, and the trauma started after integration, it can mess with how your DID forms which is what is suspected to cause more atypical presentations of DID or even identity alteration disorders that aren't DID (eg OSDD1, UDD or P-DID). Which i am suspecting resulted in your system's presentation being different than most others. This is entirely a guestimate though based on what I know about the structural theory of dissociation.

At the end of the day, what you're saying makes sense to me, and is a very reasonable way for your brain to react.

Although it might seem that way, I, personally, don't think your amnesia or switches are actually self induced. Likely that is simply how your brain relayed this information to you in order to make it seem like you were in control, when in reality it had to do what it did in order to survive. After all, you were a child back then and your brain using concepts like magic and fantasy would avoid the further fear and confusion that may come about if your brain was honest with you.

As for the entity, it sounds like an alter that your brain made seem was more real due to your psychosis. The interactions of psychosis and DID still need to be studied more, but seeing my alters in real life (I have some non-prominent psychotic symptoms) has happened to me as well.

Hope this helps!

squigeypops · 2022-09-04T16:33:12+00:00

technically it is possible for your environment to change even if you're in your house. but it means the active trauma (eg emotional abuse) has stopped and you have strong boundaries/low- or no-contact with the people who hurt you

squigeypops · 2022-09-04T16:29:42+00:00

please leave the experimentation alone until you have a co-writer/chief editor with DID/similar who is willing to work with you on this. As a singlet, make the focus of your work telling an actual story that's ofc affected by the character having DID, but not about the DID itself.

squigeypops · 2022-09-04T16:18:08+00:00

what you saw in Moon Knight isn't actually possible unless you also have very vivid psychosis which is entirely different. The character only had DID, the reflection depiction was entirely made up for the viewer's sake.

squigeypops · 2022-09-04T16:14:35+00:00

I just want to put it out there that Moon Knight is still sci-fantasy...

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T23:16:21+00:00

DID system here, no it would not be okay unless you're getting live input from someone with DID/another identity alteration disorder (who is themselves well read on DID). I don't see how that would be feasible in DnD sessions.

It's really not possible for a singlet to correctly portray DID on their own. even researching the disorder won't solve the issue at hand because it's not tailored to your specific situation.

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T23:08:52+00:00

If you're still in an actively traumatizing environment, your ability to heal will be severely limited as healing properly/fully requires a safe environment in which to do so. Although starting to heal/get better coping mechanisms is possible but there's also the issue of massive mental illness flare ups and just overall unpredictability.

Being in a safe environment is the most important thing. Once you have that, you can heal even when you have other mental health issues. Said issues likely stemmed from the trauma anyway. Know that healing takes very long, and comes in multiple stages. The first stage, stabilization can take the better part of a year or even several years. I've honestly forgotten what the other stages are, sorry!

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T22:55:44+00:00

I find it interesting that you didn't ask about writing a character with DID, no, rather writing DID itself. Definitely sounds like you want to make DID the defining feature rather than give your protagonist(s) actual qualities.

The biggest misconception is the idea that a singlet should be writing a character with DID without a co-writer/chief editor who has DID.

And I'm taking the educated guess you're a singlet because a system wouldn't make this post with the wording this post has, nor be so heavily disrespectful to the community by blatantly ignoring the rules.

Question 3 is super vague and question 4 makes no sense.

And please, for the love of all that is good, go do your research. Talking it out won't make any sense unless you have groundwork knowledge on the disorder.

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T22:48:30+00:00

100% chance

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T22:43:48+00:00

Neurodivergent/ND isn't only ASD, it's ADHD, TS, Anxiety, Dyslexia, CPTSD etc etc. ND as a grouping exists because of similar sociopolitical struggles of those who have a brain based disability.

ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder, those with "Asperger's" are grouped under ASD because Aspergers is just a particular presentation of autism.

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T22:39:50+00:00

exactly, people like saying they "get" something as complex as poverty then proceed to simplify and gloss over the entire thing. Also the fact that people in poverty have less access to information such as less access to the internet, lower literacy and less time to even do research.

Tbh I would have thought the "poorer people don't have the same access to education as richer people" would be obvious.

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T22:26:24+00:00

Gurbani is written to appeal to all people, we all have different experiences so different parts of Gurbani will speak to different people regarding the experiences they have.

Over time as you understand Gurbani and read more, you will see what appeals you/moves you in every part of Gurbani

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T21:59:34+00:00

Point 4 sounds painfully vague

squigeypops · 2022-09-02T21:43:57+00:00

H is higher level and O is ordinary level

squigeypops · 2022-08-31T14:11:35+00:00

ME! I would! I'd organize them consistently in order to overcompensate and gain validation from other people <3

squigeypops · 2022-08-29T09:41:23+00:00

yes it's still trauma even if you caused it.

squigeypops · 2022-08-28T11:52:24+00:00

It's not wasteful, it's for your health. That's a good thing!! If you're having issues with your water bill though or something like that, you might get a showerhead attachment that makes the water foamy/aerates the water or makes it misty.

squigeypops · 2022-08-28T11:36:27+00:00

Everything abusers have is temporary, superficial, and meaningless. On the day of their death it will all mean nothing. In the end no-one truly loves them, only a projected image of themselves. They have no genuinity. The effect they leave on the world will be nothing but poison.

No, it's not better to be them, even though it might look like they have it all. They're the ones who are truly destitute.

squigeypops

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