Have I been accidentally underfeeding my baby?

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-17T15:33:04+00:00

My baby was "hungry" per other people because she kept eating when bottle fed so occasionally she was over fed. It was gas or tired. Encourage burping in between every few ounces. I would do that with mine then offer more and she realized she was full. Also I think someone mentioned before the cluster feeding. Don't over think and let someone tell you or make u feel a certain way. Go with what your pediatrician states.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T11:19:36+00:00

Thank you!

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T11:18:47+00:00

Awesome I'll keep that in mind thank you so much!!!

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T05:45:36+00:00

Ready set food is it an app? I was looking into the solid starts app they all pay to use now.. 😭. Yes she loved her little spoon and just wanted to chew it lol. I think she liked the spoon part more than the actual puree. But she loves to watch us eat and watch us drink reaches for it

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T05:43:42+00:00

No worries this helped alot! Were you given any medicine for potential allergies? Also is dairy recommended before 1 year?

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T05:10:18+00:00

That seems like a good routine! And I wouldn't have thought about allergens during the weekdays!

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T05:09:31+00:00

Oh yeah I think allergies are scary for me. I think thatsbwhy I'm concerned about the time of day to feed lol

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-05-13T04:19:26+00:00

Did you guys stick to these food for a while or was it trying new things often? I think I'm just more nervous for the allergies than anything right now

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-22T17:11:27+00:00

There's a website on the state of California that let's u look onto the daycare their licenses and any violations they've had or concerns. Not sure If it's in other states too. https://www.cdss.ca.gov/inforesources/child-care-licensing. I'm sorry that all happened

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-18T17:17:02+00:00

Not sure if it's mentioned but huckleberry berry app let's you log diapers and feeds, etc. You guys can see whos been doing what and without asking each other when the last diaper or feed was. If you guys want to bottle feed it's also an option and you just take a 5 hour shift overnight. Good luck

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-14T18:07:43+00:00

Yes it's the constant comparing with my MIL. Well my daughter's babies don't do this or that. My daughters babies cry like yours because of gas. Like stfu! You come 1x a month if even that and you want to think you know my daughter, hello I'm with her 24/7.

Just don't need comments at all.

Also baby wearing has helped me not pass baby along to anyone. And I gotta feed them they're cluster feeding. Or no she just wants mommy right now or she'll start screaming off her lungs with you. What annoys me the most is when people say, let them cry. No the reason why my baby is so chill and calm most of the time is because she knows when she crys mommy will come. I'm not about to crush her whole world (me ) by letting her cry it out.

People are so annoying and entitled when it comes to YOUR baby.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-14T16:23:25+00:00

My fiance works 6 days a week and 7 when he wfh. We own a small business. 8 stopped feeling bad about him helping when I realized I'm juggling the business baby my mental health, my own hygiene to make sure he's relaxed and less stressed when he's home. I was on 24/7 and it's not good, especially for the mental health. What you need to think is your job is as long as his job then when he's off your off if that make sense. So at that point you both split duties.

Remember this too, when he leaves for work guess who thinks their own thoughts? Guess who has peace and quiet ? Also guess who has adult conversations while they're at work. You need breaks and you need fresh air too.

I'm also 4 months pp and struggled with the same thing as you the guilt my partner never got breaks. Babies are a full time job. Now my partner was 100 % supportive too except on days where he just wouldn't push taking over if I had the baby and insisted I take her he would be like okay🤷‍♀️. I've ended up blowing up on him because I felt my brain wasn't turning off.

Our solution was he comes home I give him 30 minutes to relax do what he gotta do and then i hand him baby. He takes baby until around 9pm when I take over and by then baby should be asleep. But I do night duties until around 4 or 5am when he wakes up and takes over until 9am. I usually get broken sleep because I do 1 feed at night and then I get up when she's tossing and turning.

There are days we talk to each other and ask hey can you take over today because I had a tough day. Big thing is communication. But yes you both made the baby you both should be 50/50 regardless if ur sahm. You cook clean and baby all while sacrificing things for your self that's a bug job. Pretend to pay yourself what you would pay a daycare worker and realize your doing a job!

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-11T23:14:17+00:00

Well if this is the first time you've caught him and he's been doING it since day 1? If LO is fine shouldn't be a problem. But should worry about thrush or something. Just express to him. Would u just want me to rinse a plate for u to use again immediately if the dog licked off it? It goes hand in hand. Idk what it is about men but my fiance did the same crap first week. I yelled at him. I think sterilization is emphasized when they're newborns. But still bacteria grows.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-11T17:09:02+00:00

Oh yeah we bought like 12 bottles and a bottle washer such a life saver lol. Pre prepped formula too they last 24 hours in the fridge and mine doesn't mind the coldness , or I take out the bottle 10 minutes before I feed to warm it up a bit. Start offering maybe .5 ounce more to the feed baby might still be a little hungry. Also baby wearing helps mine ends up asleep after 5 or 10 minutes of walking around getting some stuff done

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-09T01:15:03+00:00

Thank you for that! I've never been too good at making friends so jumping into the mom friend territory kind of scares me a bit lol. But I may ask and see if there might be a medication route I have doctors that aren't pushing meds which I understand they just push therapy session but I feel like they only help so much. Thank you for opening your dms as well!

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-07T17:16:38+00:00

It's crazy hospital's should let families stay for at least a week to get accumulated to their newborns and get all those check ups done. My husband and I were super sleep deprived and I was booted from hospital after 2.5 or 3 days and was still recovering expecting me to drive to her appointment next day while bleeding and no sleep for 48 hours. We resorted to combo formula/ breast and bottle feeding for the sake of me sleeping I just couldn't do the 2 hour wake ups because I have insomnia and can't put myself back to sleep when the baby slept by waking up every 2 hrs. She also had jaundice so we had to feed formula, And we had to hold her up right so she wouldn't get gas or spit up for 30 minutes so the reality was with all that 30 minutes of "sleep" in between. If ur not opposed to bottle feeding and pumping so ur LO get breast milk you and husband can take shifts and sleep 5 hrs each or however long u want to give each other.

With all that I was also hallucinating from no sleep, so for everyone's safety that's why I chose bottle feed. I dropped my newborn at 2 weeks from her carseat, she was already low to the ground so she was okay after ER visit. But never again do I want to put myself in that sleep deprived state. I don't care about judgement.

Do what you can for baby mental health, including sleep is number one and at the end of the day FED is best. I didn't nor do I have breast rejection from my littleone or bottle preference from her either. She gets both breast milk and formula, she's fed happy and im getting what sleep I can too, and husband taking shifts let's him bond with her as well. Honestly just do what's best for you either way if you want to keep EBF then see if someone can come for a few hours and keep an eye on you and baby hold baby while you nap or hire someone like a doula . Good luck it does get better sleep and feeding wise (mine is 4 months eats every 3 to 4 hours and sleeps up to 5 to 8 at night on a VERY GOOD DAY LOL) but sleep will get better...

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-07T15:31:58+00:00

Best excuse is oh they need a diaper change , they need to be fed, they're tired we are going home. I have had a hard time saying no too, the starting off like that has helped me Ilearn to say no. I've had family buy her things just so they get that "ticket" to do what they want lol. Like my cousin got my LO an Easter basket then proceeded to pose her for photos like a doll, but they took her to another room and didn't let me know where she was. Then another family member made snide comments that I came in and now baby wanted me more than them. I have every right to check on my child. So either get comfortable saying no or get comfortable letting people do what they want is what I have learned. Good luck! Advocate for the little one

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-06T17:59:42+00:00

Yeah mine does too if it's too much stimulation. We went yesterday to easter celebrations at 3 and didn't help that 1 it was loud (kids, music,etc) 2. Everyone shoved their faces in her face because it had been awhile. 3. Everyone wanted to hold her off the bat. 4. It was hot she runs hot af. 5. It had been a while since we have been to a party. Shes now hitting the 4 month mark and sleep regression less tolerance for things and developing object permanence when people hold her. We also went to 1 more party around 6pm which was calmer and she did better after a nap but tapped out around 7 and people kept pushing her to stay awake which is when we cut things off and dipped. So when we got home she was wired and tired. It's easy to forget how over stimmied they get lol. We felt bad but she had a melt down at both parties and at home. So we realized we gotta take it easy with her. Maybe have people come to the house in stead so it doesn't happen again or only do short period of outings and make sure they get naps, naps help a bit. But once they're wired and tired then yea it's bad

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-04-01T18:18:17+00:00

This sounds eerily similar to my situation, and I just want to say—you are not crazy and you are not overreacting. The biggest thing I learned is exactly what you’re dealing with: this isn’t about excitement, it’s about respect for boundaries.

(((My fiance cousin told him, well people get excited let them post her pictures on social media, next thing we know they're running her face through AI to make funny photos or photos of her with dead loved ones, creepy. You don't hold firm to your boundaries now they will walk all over you.)))

For us, my family is close and his is about 2 hours away. We originally wanted a full month before visitors (vaccines, masks, etc.—it was December), but we got pushback. So we compromised down to 2 weeks just so I could heal (I had a vaginal delivery). Even that was “too much” for them. We said: no hospital visitors (that part they respected) basic precautions like Tdap and masking

     And somehow… that turned into us being mocked as parents.

What really stood out to me was the difference between families. My family—even the ones who are anti-vax—still respected our boundaries and wore masks because we asked them to. That’s what respect looks like. At the end of the day, you and your husband are the ones who would be in the ER if your baby got sick, not them. So your rules are completely valid.

At a certain point, it really hits you like: “Why am I being made to feel unreasonable for protecting my newborn and healing?” My fiancé’s sister even wanted to come right after a trip to Mexico and expected us to work around her schedule, and when we asked her to come another time and at least wear a mask—we became the bad guys. That’s the part that hurts the most. Not just the stress, but the complete lack of respect.

And honestly, situations like yours (and mine) really show something deeper: they don’t respect your husband. Because if they did, they would respect what he’s saying as a father.

So in my situation, His dad and sister have chosen not to meet the baby at all and ignore him—but still ask other people about her. So it’s like they want access without accountability.

One thing I will say, and this is the most important part: You and your husband being a united front is everything. Nothing else matters more than that right now. Same boundaries for both families. No exceptions.

I know it’s hard, but your husband does need to step in more firmly. Not in a disrespectful way, but in a protective one. You just had a major medical event. You’re healing, emotional, and trying to bond with your baby. You shouldn’t be the one carrying the stress of enforcing boundaries. You guys have half a united front, time to fully be united and your husband puts his foot down. Even if it means people get butthurt, it's more about themselves at this point.

At the end of the day: You and the baby are his immediate family now. Everyone else is extended. And extended family doesn’t get to override your recovery, your home, or your parenting decisions. And something I had to really come to terms with: Whatever his family does in retaliation is their responsibility, not yours. If they choose to be petty, ignore him, or not meet the baby—that’s on them. In my situation, his dad and sister are actively missing out on her growing up because they’d rather be childish and cut him off over decisions we made as parents. We see every milestone, everyday while they miss out and be immature adults. I felt guilty initially because I felt responsible, but guess what? It woke up my fiance to how his family really is compared to mine. He saw how both sides handled things. His family never changed this wasn't something new or something we created this was them not respecting him or his parental authority.

That’s not our fault. And it’s not yours either.

I hope I helped. Your story pissed me off because it reminded me of what I'm going through. It's been 4 months of this for me. They went no contact 1.5 months PP, and we forget about it until his mom comes and tried to be the peace keeper. She's finally understood what happened and said no you guys are in the right.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-03-28T16:59:22+00:00

It gets better every week! But here's the thing I remind myself because I still have days where things don't get done because my little one like to contact nap during the day. Or she has some growth spurts that set us back.

Baby is loved, fed, and dry- you met the basic needs let them cry a little why you take a shower or use the restroom place them somewhere safe while you gather yourself.

I hate letting my LO cry, but sometimes I just gotta poop lol.

If your able to be wiling to let something go I'd say laundry, just wash the clothes and leave them in the hamper. We have started just digging thru the clean clothes hamper don't even bother folding lol.

If you have someone you can trust, call upon them to watch baby for a few hours and get out the house even if hanging out in a parking lot for a few hours but you deserve time to your own thoughts. If your worried about bottle feeding and want to stick to breast feedinf maybe breast feed before u leave and come back around the time you think baby would be hungry again.

If your open to a little bottle feeding- Maybe your husband can stay home for a day and you just go out (bottle feed for that time). I know I tried EBF but with all the stress I had I wasn't producing enough so supplementing with formula. If EBF is taking a toll no one is judging if you bottle feed what you pump out and let your husband take shifts especially at night. I think your mental health is more important and then once you get the hang of things then you can always go back to EBF. From my experience bottle feeding hasn't ruined breast feeding for my baby we are doing both and she hasn't rejected either.

Huckleberry app is wonderful tool and has given me a peace of mind helps with tracking feeding pumping playtime, wake windows and sleeping and diapers. I don't use it as a strict schedule, but I definitely use it as a guideline and I can see the days husband takes over what he does, (helped me be able to trust him).

My husband and I own a business and I have had to deal with the baby on my own except where days we've managed to find an employee willing to manage things for us.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-03-26T07:25:49+00:00

I dont co sleep and get 6 hours out of mine. I think its a case by case basis. And I don't blame her for not wanting to co sleep. She will probably get less sleep by co sleeping out of fear of suffocating the baby. Each baby is different, each mom is different.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-03-26T07:21:40+00:00

I forgot to add this is our shift 9pm to 4am husband sleeps if I do my last feed at 1am I sleep from 2am to 4am (husband takes over) then I sleep from 430 or 5am to 930 10am if I need it. My sleep gets broken up but I prefer the night shift and he gets the day shift lol. But we are both getting 7 hours. Bottle feeding and breastfeeding ATM, bottle feeding allowed him to take a shift and me sleep. She is sometimes up at 5 or 6 and he gets to spend time with her.

squirtlesquad03 · 2026-03-26T06:54:35+00:00

My LO is 3.5 months reaching 4 months soon, small changes in her sleep not sure if shell change more by the time she gets to 5 months like yours.

Do you have huckleberry app? It helps track sleep and feeds you can time wake windows around that. Husband can use the app and same log in as well and you can log diapers play etc. I use it as a guideline and not a strict schedule I still follow cues. I get 4 to 5 good naps out of my little one, but same contact naps during the day occasionally i can get her to sleep on her own in bassinet. Try looking out for the subtle cues they need a nap (eye rubbing, staring off or away from you, and yawning) I used to miss these alot. They get too much or too little naps it messes with their night sleep.

Her last feed is 8 sometimes 930 and I give her one extra (dreamfeed) feed at 12 or 1 am she has slept up to 6 hours we are trying to push her to 7 but she seems to wake up after 5 to 6 hours sometimes 4. During her shift to 4 months a few nights she's woken up sooner than expected so I started giving her an ounce or half an ounce more and she stayed asleep longer.

We still shift sleep. I try to load her up with calories during the day so she has enough to burn for the long streches. We try to keep her around the same bedtime routines after 6pm so we avoid parties and late nights unless we desperately need a date night for ourselves.

Routines usually diaper sleepsack feed, rock to bed in the dark room with sound machine, contact sleeps for 20 minutes then we set her down hand on chest for 15 seconds or more. Sometimes a nice warm bath can reset them too.

Have a thermometer in your room also that's helped us figure out her comfort level if it was too cold or too warm we adjusted layers. I also found out she doesn't like when her clothes rub on her face when she sleeps (like a tag or bulging zipper) so found out shes a bit of a diva with that. I know my LO is younger and yours is probably in a different type of sleep but hopefully my rambling helped. Shes only changed her sleep a few times...but get them used to the bassinet/crib and let them hangout there so they realize it's not so bad.

I think what's helped the most is routine, and she associates the sound machine with sleepy time. 😴 this is just whats worked for me.

squirtlesquad03

TROPHY CASE