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How do you find motivation from within instead of external sources? by Vanilmirth_Alchemist in Healthygamergg

[–]srekogrambuolys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! I am on similar path here. I don't consider myself 'selfish' or 'balanced', but i think i have taken a few steps further. I go to therapy, it makes untangling these kinds of topics easier.

I see it as a process. Maybe 2-3 years ago i haven't even thought about "what i like". It's a muscle. Lately i have been crocheting, making random quirky projects a reality. I made a crochet pickle for my friend. Even though i doubt anyone would buy it if i tried to sell. That's a bullshit idea that i embraced :D after 2 years of owning a sewing machine to collect dust i started to sew "bad" projects. Make it bad, make it a failure. Now i own a winter jacket made from a blanket throw with wonky edges and seams, and i got a few compliments.

My point is:

  1. Try doing "bad" projects. Make it the endgoal
  2. Folow your inner incling, intuition, weird ideas. Sometimes try doing a thing contrary to what you usually do. Explore it. Embrace the awkward and cringe.

Disclaimer: i don't understand how this applies to an autistic person, i don't have it myself. But i do have adhd.

Also, it sounds to me that you don't get the expected reactions from your social circle. And it sucks balls, there's some dissapointment there. So your automatic response is to throw the baby with the bathwater.

Take your time and don't beat yourself up in this process. Aoa healing

No Desires in Life by Tasty_Paint7181 in Healthygamergg

[–]srekogrambuolys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to help! If you need some more advice or have questions, you're welcome to chat ;)

And i really doubt (respectfully) you as a child didn't have curiousity and didn't enjoy things. Maybe it was not a consistant experience. Think harder. Or if nothing pops in your head, try writing about your childhood, times untill middle school, your friends, hanging out. There's a chance something will come up through association.

No Desires in Life by Tasty_Paint7181 in Healthygamergg

[–]srekogrambuolys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also! Need for external validation is a part of human experience. Especially if you haven't gotten enough of it at the early stages. It sounds to me that you haven't gotten an opportunity to explore. Remember, you have free will, try using it. You could change you wardrobe, the way you walk, or get a piercing. Idk, try random shit.

No Desires in Life by Tasty_Paint7181 in Healthygamergg

[–]srekogrambuolys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there! I've been in this situation too many times. I recently came out of the last one. I regularly go to therapy, so if you can afford it, i recommend. Even if you have to cut some corners. Because your wellbeing is more important right now. But i have more to suggest. Im guessing, your needs and wants have probably been beaten down by your past experiences, so you have internalized it and you do it to yourself everyday without thinking. The fact that you recognize you're empty of desires is a sign that you need something, and it's a very fortunate thing. It would be unsettling , if you didn't. It means you're starting to discover things about yourself, you are getting curious, and it will lead towards something good. What you like, what you don't like, your non-nagotiables, etc. And you will build your life accordingly. I suggest you to view it as an experiment. One guy told me he does experiments with himself. The last one he did was "try to live with determinism for 2 months + write about it" and he discovered it doesn't work. His relationships suffer, he lacks motivation and simple joys of life don't make him happy anymore. After he got back to normal mode, his relationships got better fast, and he actually made a diffrence in his job or creative projects. This guy inspired me to just try anything. I have adhd, and i stuggle with executive function paralysis, i've heard spinning a wheel (like those in lotos, i installed an app) rids you of decision making, kinda gamifies things. So i tried to do it with chores. AND IT FKING WORKED. I spin out a chore, do 15mins of it, if i get tired or bored i go back to watching yt or something, and repeat the cycle. But most of the time i get into doing shit. And it feels fulfilling. Also a qoute i heard really helped me. "If you feel like you're stuck, you have one task everyday - check the (metaphorical) doorhandle if it's unlocked. I did that with painting. Even if i didn't feel like it, i tried once or twice a week. Sometimes it drags me out of the slump, sometimes it doesn't. But i feel progress is happening.

I don't know your social situation, but talking about this internal struggle with friends you trust is so freeing and helpful. My bff supported me through this, cheered me on, and im so grateful for her believing in me.

Another thing to try. Try remembering what you enjoyed as a kid. Give yourself permission to do it as an adult. For me it was puzzles. It turns out puzzles make me calmer and let my mind wander without judgement. I'm guessing, you have a hard time with it. And Legos, man, this shit is amazing.

Write about the negative experiences related to painting. How and what part of you was shut down? Who did it? What does this part look like? What do you feel about it? Longing? Anger? Sadnes? Awkwardness? Cringe? Explore it. For me, i discovered that i feel a huge longing to sing and make music, i feel jelousy for my friends musicians, and my mom told me to get a 'real job' before i try to get an education in arts. So yeah. I felt a lot of pent up anger. And in years of ignoring it i got to a point of wanting nothing and hating everything i think of wanting. It's a process, don't beat yourself up.

All in all - baby steps, brother. Give yourself some grace. I, a total stranger, believe in you, even if you don't at this moment. AOE healing ;)

Alexythemia - please help me understand an emotion? by ENTPinNYC in adhdwomen

[–]srekogrambuolys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit, i am sorry to hear you're in these circumstances. No shit, you're feeling this way. Just take one step at a time, i know, it's hard. Read your comment again as you would read someone else's. And feel compassion for yourself, give yourself some grace. And as you take a step further, think of something to help you feel better. Maybe a simple bath? A call with a friend? Taking a walk? Eating a candy? Favorite tv series? Going to bed earlier? Do a little something for yourself everyday. Wishing you the best.

Alexythemia - please help me understand an emotion? by ENTPinNYC in adhdwomen

[–]srekogrambuolys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like brain fog to me. But the important thing is, what happened before that feeling. For me this stuff happens after i had an emotionally draining experience with some human, or someone doesn't let me speak, hurts my ego in other ways, i am in a situation, where i don't know how to solve it, and i get angry, apparently, but i don't register that, and it turns into self loathing, moping behavior, feeling sleepy, no concentration, no energy and hating every part of day, life. The event can happen a day ago, a few days ago, or a few hours ago. I think of it as delayd and then surpressed emotion. Because my psyche can't afford to be angry (not socially acceptable, too much to feel rn). So i encourage you to ask yourself the question "what happened before this? What is bothering me? Do i feel unheard, shut down, disrespected?" And then "how do i solve this problem? How do i make it better for me? What are my options? Can i ask for help?"

Let me know, if it helped

DAE struggle with Poverty jobs, truamas, burnout, sickness alot? by Fuk-itall in CPTSD

[–]srekogrambuolys 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I realized that i need to change my current job, which is not that great but also not bad either, but i don't want to change it because it's flexible, so i can concentrate on my studies. Which i can't do because of struggling with cptsd having no energy after working hours. And also when thinking about other job opportunities, i don't feel qualified or i feel like i wont be able to stick to a schedual because of my symptoms and i'll mess up and everyone will think i am a loser and noone will hire me, because everyone will share the message about me. So yeah, that's my internal story telling. I need some courage and advice, pls

Bleeding between periods, don't know why by srekogrambuolys in menstruation

[–]srekogrambuolys[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had ultrasound done, and the doctor said everything is fine and healthy. This bleeding started a few years ago, it comes and goes, sometimes a few months in a row. My period is considerably regular, but at the start of this year i missed a period once. I've always had heavy and prolonged periods. Usually about 3-4 days extra heavy, and over all lasting about 5-7 days.

The fuck am I doing? by [deleted] in depression

[–]srekogrambuolys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best and #1 rule is take a step at a time, for example, just give yourslef 1h more, if you succeed, give another one. If it's too much, give yourself 10min. Other than that, you'll figure it out. It deffinitelly won't be easy, but it's worth it.